Negotiating Settlement Figures and Keeping on The Straight And Narrow!!!

CMD79

UPDATE!

I have paid my Barclaycard and most of Tesco CCs off. This leaves me with about £5000  to manage. I must not f%*£ this up! I have been given a lifeline and I'm gripping on with both hands.

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Hi Fellow DFWs and Other Very Helpful People....

I have been in some sort of debt since before I turned 18. This amounts have varied hugely over 25 years, but it's always been a thing I've lived with. At some points, quite frequently, the debt has become almost unmanageable, and recently, nearly took me to the point of losing everything.

Since I've been married, my husband has always known I've had debt, but he has never known the severity of it until I joined this forum and was 'strongly encouraged'  (some more gently than others!) to fess up. In my own way, and over a period of 10 months, I have now done this, and have worked tirelessly to get my debt levels reduced.

Yesterday - and this is not how I thought it would go at all, I thought this would end in divorce - my DH came home from a business trip and says, how much is your total debt? I'm going to pay it off out of our Help To Buy savings (his savings, obviously!) and you can pay that back with the money you were spending on servicing the debt.  (I burst into tears. The notion that I would suddenly be debt free is a lot to take in after 25 years of it!

I feel a lot of emotions today. Let off, guilty, conflicted almost. Mostly, I'm worried if I get let off, will I just go back to my old tricks? What mad scheme will I come up with, with my disposable income?! So mostly, I'm terrified, because I know, I cannot blow this chance.

So, I come to you wonderful people, with a brand new, and unexpected problem - Two problems:

1) I have £9800 to pay off £14,800 of debt. Can I negotiate with credit cards and loans? (2 of which have identified me as being in perpetual debt).

2) I have a serious issue with my relationship with money - once it's all paid, how do I not end up back here again?! I feel like I have come a million miles in 10 months, but I am a complete money nightmare! 

SEND HELP!! 

WinterWarrior

I would say make sure you include absolutely everything. Don’t hold a single penny back as any debt left might add difficulty and spiral into more. Pay off every single thing and close all of the accounts and credit cards down. Make sure you cannot access the credit again.
Then set up a direct debit to your husband or a joint help to buy savings scheme so you are locked into paying it back. Make sure the amount is manageable. Be honest about how much you can afford as stretching yourself too far and leaving yourself short could lead to future debt. Be absolutely open and honest as your husband is putting his trust in you that it won’t happen again and he won’t lose his savings. The guilt is a good tool to make sure you don’t fall back into your old ways. It’s amazing news and a fabulous new start. Good luck.

CMD79

@WinterWarrior yes thanks! You're absolutely right with that. It has got to be a very deep line in the sand, because if there's a little bit loitering, it gives me the sense that, well I can just add that there because I need to pay that anyway. 

I've set up a standing order to transfer the money to his savings for the help to buy. He couldn't remember how the payments go but said we need to save large amounts to make big payments. But I have done this, so my end of the bargain is done.

I'm going to call Barclaycard and Tesco bank to see if they will consider a settlement figure....

Thank you