Where do I start?

Nola1

Hi I really want to sort my finances out but don’t know where to start. I work part time and once my car finance, credit card, overdraft and childrens mobile phone bills have been paid, I’m left with barely anything and have to keep asking my husband for money 😞. I really want to organise my finances so as I have more left over each month and really want to start being more careful with the money I have left over. I am used to thinking it’s ok as my husband has money he will give me if I need it. The problem is that he seems to be struggling too. Please help me to understand where to start. Thank you! 

SusieT

You have come to the right place for help the best thing to start with is the SOA calculator https://www.lemonfool.co.uk/financecalculators/soa.php if you fill it in as accurately as possible, then click format for MSE, and copy and paste it into a reply that will start to give ideas as to how people can help you get onto the right track.

Brie

Well I'd start by telling your husband he has to pay the kids mobile bills.  Unless they are working in which case they can pay their own.  The other stand out thing to me is that if he works full time and gets a good wage and you're part time then he should be paying for the majority of all the household bills - so your credit card would be just your personal incidentals rather than groceries or whatever else is on there now.

Next thing to do is to do a statement of accounts (see one of the top posts in Debt-free) and either use that to see where the problems are or post it here for others to comment.  There may be some insistence (or strong suggestions) that you post a family version as it's very hard to see all the issues if your husband's finances/bills/income aren't obvious.  

good luck and well done for working to get yourself organised.

ladyholly

If you do an SOA and put it on here you need to make it clear what things you pay for and what your husband pays for as it sounds as though you run your finances seperately. That is fine as long as there is a fair division of payments.

RAS

You and hubby need to have a long chat about your joint finances, as if he's in trouble as well, you both need to look at your joint finances and start paring back. 

Can anyone take the kids for the day whilst you sit down with the last 6 months statements and work through them? Or maybe both take a day's leave when they are at school?

Flugelhorn

You are definitely in this together and need a proper statement of the family finances and decide what you can and cannot afford - of it means reducing phone contracts , getting cheaper cars etc then that is what is need but do it together

madaboutspots

Another vote here for yourself and hubby sitting down together to discuss the full situation. If each is not understanding the stresses in the other’s daily business then you’re not so able to support each other and surely that’s what marriage is?

i don’t subscribe to the separate finances thing but we’re all different. It can work well for many. But… is there a possibility that you either don’t discuss this aspect fully with complete openness to make sure you’re aligned or could it be that you did do that and decided it was settled but that was some time ago and the balance has changed or perhaps as kids have become more expensive in their needs, cost of living rises etc and no adjustments have been made accordingly?

I’m not suggesting you should join your finances any more than you’re both comfortable with. But don’t let keeping things separate equal not discussing the entire subject fully, openly and regularly.

We take a regular look at our finances. We’re always fine tuning things as life always throws something in to keep us on our toes. I’m sure most people find the same.

It sounds as though you’ll all need to trim back a bit but without that open dialogue how do either of you know where to start? Most relationships are strengthened by open and honest discussion - just remember you both need to respect the other - you won’t agree on everything. Working together to succeed doesn’t have to mean agreeing on every detail. 

Go on… have a chat with hubby. See how you can help each other out so life is more fun and reduce the stress 😉 you surely both deserve that?

Sea_Shell

I agree that a "team" approach may be needed to really understand the household finances.

Only then can you decide on a fair distribution on all shared costs, plus any personal spends, assuming there is any truly spare money left each month.

No good one having debt and one spare IMO.

Aspiration

Another vote for joint conversation! 

Appreciate every relationship is different but for us, our income as a household is the number we’re working from. 

All direct debits/bills/investments paid and then split what’s left. It’s not equal usually as some months one of us spends a bit more than the other depending on what’s going on, who’s out etc, but always within where we both want to be as a team.

EssexHebridean

Nola1 said:

Hi I really want to sort my finances out but don’t know where to start. I work part time and once my car finance, credit card, overdraft and childrens mobile phone bills have been paid, I’m left with barely anything and have to keep asking my husband for money 😞. I really want to organise my finances so as I have more left over each month and really want to start being more careful with the money I have left over. I am used to thinking it’s ok as my husband has money he will give me if I need it. The problem is that he seems to be struggling too. Please help me to understand where to start. Thank you! 

Correct advice already been given re the SOA. My first question would be though whether you are still using the credit card (s) and increasing the amount of the overdraft month-on-month? If so then this indicates a bigger issue than just "money is tight" as it would mean you were spending more than your income.

You're not entirely clear on how your household finances are run - but it does sound as though this is a bigger issue than just your personal situation. It can work very well one party paying some things, and the other party paying others, but the whole thing does need to be understood, reviewed regularly and achievable for/proportionate to the income of each party. Also it should be remembered that not all contributions are purely financial - in our house for example I earn a lot less than MrEH so he contributes more to the household pot than I do - I however am the one who keeps track of the budget, makes sure everything that needs to get paid does, ensures that our joint savings are earning us some interest, and generally keeps the wheels on the wagon. 

Nola1

Hi again and thank you so much for your advice. I have battled out our SOA. I'm feeling even more concerned now though. Here it is....

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 2

Number of children in household......... 2

Number of cars owned.................... 2[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 700

Partners monthly income after tax....... 4000

Benefits................................ 143

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 4843[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ 1130

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 210

Rent.................................... 0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 188

Electricity............................. 111.21

Gas..................................... 93.21

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 87.8

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 195.31

TV Licence.............................. 13.25

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 128

Internet Services....................... 0

Groceries etc. ......................... 400

Clothing................................ 50

Petrol/diesel........................... 200

Road tax................................ 45.93

Car Insurance........................... 51.26

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 40

Car parking............................. 0

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 0

Other child related expenses............ 250

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 0

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 14

Buildings insurance..................... 26.35

Contents insurance...................... 0

Life assurance ......................... 125.66

Other insurance......................... 71.7

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 30

Haircuts................................ 30

Entertainment........................... 22

Holiday................................. 0

Emergency fund.......................... 0[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 3513.68[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 400000

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 5000

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 405000[/b]

[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage...................... 213697...(1130).....0

Hire Purchase (HP) debt ...... 10000....(210)......0[b]

Total secured & HP debts...... 223697....-.........-   [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Virgin credit card.............1600......25........0

next...........................453.......32........23.9

studio.........................253.......10.92.....49.9

Overdraft 3....................900.......20.04.....39.94

Overdraft 2....................500.......13.79.....39.94

Overdraft 1....................1100......27.82.....39.94

M&S loan.......................10000.....192.......5.9

SANTANDER LOAN.................17805.....469.4.....9.9

santander CC...................3032......30.32.....0

halifax CC.....................6250......100.......20.65[b]