Advice for a young jobseeker
Civic2056
Forumite 66 Posts
I'm 19. Barely an adult. Been out of school for nearly two years.
I've had a rough start in life, I've had mental health issues from the age of 14. Diagnosed with autism last year, and ADHD a couple of months back and have begun medication for that. I was prompted to get the diagnosis because I had my first "proper" job earlier this year. After leaving school, I did some bar work; worked in a store for about a week (had worked in a shop at 17 for a couple of months as well), and begun doing delivery driving. I found work in a sector I never even knew existed - freight forwarding. £21k a year, great I thought. They hired me within a week of the interview, was really pleased. I'd applied to the police as well but threw my app in the bin when I got the other job, and i was also skeptical of whether they would accept me because of my mental health issues - depression, anxiety, with suicidal ideation from the age of 14 etc.
I struggled in the job with remembering things etc and found it intensely boring, and the company sat me down and told me in a nice way: walk or we'll chuck you out. Looking back on this, the employer basically broke the law - they suggested that they did not need to provide a lift for disabled employees if they did not have any (which anyone can tell you is factually and legally incorrect), and thus they didn't have to provide adjustments for me as an autistic employee. I declared i had autism; they suggested "bad body language" was one of the reasons for me being put in this position. I did suggest a reasonable adjustment could be to address me by name, and maybe inform the other employees of my diagnosis with my permission so they could understand, but apparently this wasn't acceptable to them.
I'd been in uni for a few weeks before, in Sept 21', studying a course i realised i didnt like pretty quickly (politics and intl relations), and along with being extremely ill with pneumonia, I dropped out on their advice. That was then when i came home; got the delivery driver job whilst progressing with my police app, and in april 22' i started work at the freight company.
So after leaving I went back to work for the delivery company and have been working there since late July. It's quite a bit abvoe minimum wage, maybe about average for London. I work way more than my contracted hours, always covering when their quite frankly, useless other drivers fail to turn up for work because the footy's on TV or they've got a headache. But it's not what I want to do long term, like its not a skilled job, and I am, by my old employer's admission, very intelligent. In fact, when I had this meeting and was told to resign, the boss didn't turn up, the HR woman was the one doing it. She told me - off the record - that working for the company in the industry was a "dead end job" and I had far better opportunnities out there. I have three A-Levels, A* in sociology, A in history, A in English Language. I scout for jobs every day. I've networked with local high-net worth individuals in the property development industry, and one or two councillors. As it happens they wanted me to become a councillor, but that's not a paid job and i withdrew because i still want to be in the police and that's obviously incompatible (you cant do the two even if you wanted, and quite rightly, police shouldn't be involved in politics). I went for a degree apprenticeship with a national housebuilder in a town planning role and got a second interview, but they went for someone else in the end.
I am good with computers etc and set up a computer repair business, making a hundred to two hundred per job, but I had to change my phone number, and google my business then shut down my listing (suspended), and they haven't replied to my reinstatement forms for nearly six weeks. I can't even start a new business from the same address. Which also hampers my second business scheme: setting up a neurodiversity consultancy to advise schools and workplaces on how they can support employees like me. Reached out to places offering to do it even for free at first, but again, no uptake, and can't get it registered on google.
I have my police medical next week. Once again, career limbo. I've set my expectations very low for it because I know from my experience before (different force though) what they can be like. I should also put it for the record: yes, i know its a challenging job, but i want a challenging job. It's the only job I've really ever had an interest in going into.
Tried approaching property developers and councils but basically none of them accept speculative CVs; even for work experience, none have replied. I feel if i went to univeristy and got a degree, say in town planning, it would be useless if i didn't become a town planner, and obviously i'd need to find a job hiring town planners. I also don't know how different my experience will be from last time, if the ADHD meds can be that effective. Same f or retail - almost all jobs i see advertised, at least, those that pay by the hour, are in retail, and whilst it's a job I'd love to be good at, I haven't been good at it from past experience and found it boring. Also, with zero hour contracts and the like, and retailers usually constantly changing the hours their employees work, its not good for an autistic person who doesn't like their routine being changed too much. I am quite spontaneous so not as routine dependent as some autistic people, but I prefer just to have set, fixed start and finish times etc.
Any advice out there? Jobs or industries I might not have considered or have no knowledge of?
I would say I have the following qualities
- Empathetic
- Restless
- Very literate with technology
- Extremely good at writing and orating
- Can be hyperfocused on a project that interests me, so say the neurodiversity business I was working on. I created powerpoints as the crux of the workshops I have been planning, and spent a solid four hours sitting down, forgetting to even get up and have a drink or something because I was so focused, i even forgot the time.
I've had a rough start in life, I've had mental health issues from the age of 14. Diagnosed with autism last year, and ADHD a couple of months back and have begun medication for that. I was prompted to get the diagnosis because I had my first "proper" job earlier this year. After leaving school, I did some bar work; worked in a store for about a week (had worked in a shop at 17 for a couple of months as well), and begun doing delivery driving. I found work in a sector I never even knew existed - freight forwarding. £21k a year, great I thought. They hired me within a week of the interview, was really pleased. I'd applied to the police as well but threw my app in the bin when I got the other job, and i was also skeptical of whether they would accept me because of my mental health issues - depression, anxiety, with suicidal ideation from the age of 14 etc.
I struggled in the job with remembering things etc and found it intensely boring, and the company sat me down and told me in a nice way: walk or we'll chuck you out. Looking back on this, the employer basically broke the law - they suggested that they did not need to provide a lift for disabled employees if they did not have any (which anyone can tell you is factually and legally incorrect), and thus they didn't have to provide adjustments for me as an autistic employee. I declared i had autism; they suggested "bad body language" was one of the reasons for me being put in this position. I did suggest a reasonable adjustment could be to address me by name, and maybe inform the other employees of my diagnosis with my permission so they could understand, but apparently this wasn't acceptable to them.
I'd been in uni for a few weeks before, in Sept 21', studying a course i realised i didnt like pretty quickly (politics and intl relations), and along with being extremely ill with pneumonia, I dropped out on their advice. That was then when i came home; got the delivery driver job whilst progressing with my police app, and in april 22' i started work at the freight company.
So after leaving I went back to work for the delivery company and have been working there since late July. It's quite a bit abvoe minimum wage, maybe about average for London. I work way more than my contracted hours, always covering when their quite frankly, useless other drivers fail to turn up for work because the footy's on TV or they've got a headache. But it's not what I want to do long term, like its not a skilled job, and I am, by my old employer's admission, very intelligent. In fact, when I had this meeting and was told to resign, the boss didn't turn up, the HR woman was the one doing it. She told me - off the record - that working for the company in the industry was a "dead end job" and I had far better opportunnities out there. I have three A-Levels, A* in sociology, A in history, A in English Language. I scout for jobs every day. I've networked with local high-net worth individuals in the property development industry, and one or two councillors. As it happens they wanted me to become a councillor, but that's not a paid job and i withdrew because i still want to be in the police and that's obviously incompatible (you cant do the two even if you wanted, and quite rightly, police shouldn't be involved in politics). I went for a degree apprenticeship with a national housebuilder in a town planning role and got a second interview, but they went for someone else in the end.
I am good with computers etc and set up a computer repair business, making a hundred to two hundred per job, but I had to change my phone number, and google my business then shut down my listing (suspended), and they haven't replied to my reinstatement forms for nearly six weeks. I can't even start a new business from the same address. Which also hampers my second business scheme: setting up a neurodiversity consultancy to advise schools and workplaces on how they can support employees like me. Reached out to places offering to do it even for free at first, but again, no uptake, and can't get it registered on google.
I have my police medical next week. Once again, career limbo. I've set my expectations very low for it because I know from my experience before (different force though) what they can be like. I should also put it for the record: yes, i know its a challenging job, but i want a challenging job. It's the only job I've really ever had an interest in going into.
Tried approaching property developers and councils but basically none of them accept speculative CVs; even for work experience, none have replied. I feel if i went to univeristy and got a degree, say in town planning, it would be useless if i didn't become a town planner, and obviously i'd need to find a job hiring town planners. I also don't know how different my experience will be from last time, if the ADHD meds can be that effective. Same f or retail - almost all jobs i see advertised, at least, those that pay by the hour, are in retail, and whilst it's a job I'd love to be good at, I haven't been good at it from past experience and found it boring. Also, with zero hour contracts and the like, and retailers usually constantly changing the hours their employees work, its not good for an autistic person who doesn't like their routine being changed too much. I am quite spontaneous so not as routine dependent as some autistic people, but I prefer just to have set, fixed start and finish times etc.
Any advice out there? Jobs or industries I might not have considered or have no knowledge of?
I would say I have the following qualities
- Empathetic
- Restless
- Very literate with technology
- Extremely good at writing and orating
- Can be hyperfocused on a project that interests me, so say the neurodiversity business I was working on. I created powerpoints as the crux of the workshops I have been planning, and spent a solid four hours sitting down, forgetting to even get up and have a drink or something because I was so focused, i even forgot the time.
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Our local cinema has prominent signs on the website pointing out that it is not accessible to wheelchairs. The building is historic, and installing one would not be feasible or affordable, therefore not reasonable to require that it is done. The cinema remains inaccessible to patrons and employees who can't manage those stairs.
I can't comment on whether or not the adjustments you wanted for your autism were reasonable or not. However, until you've been with an employer for two years, they can dismiss you for pretty much any reason. I think you'd be hard pressed to show you were dismissed 'just' because of your disability. Also, had you told them about it before this meeting? Once an employer has decided that it's just not working out (which is all they need to say), they're unlikely to change their minds if a previously undisclosed disability is raised.
I'm also unclear about whether this is your most recent employer, or the one before.
As to things you could consider. You say you'd like to be good at retail - have you thought of cinemas and theatres? Yes, it will still be boring but you might find the interaction with people easier because you're not so actively needing to 'sell' to them: they've come to your venue because they've decided to do X, all YOU have to do is make them feel welcome and sell them popcorn etc.
Doing something you're passionate about may well be a key, but it's not always completely straightforward, because as well as 'the thing you're passionate about', you also need to do self-promotion, keep accounts, do tax returns and tedious things like that ...
One of mine was flagged with Asperger Syndrome at secondary school, and had some similar issues. He managed through school with just extra time for exams, but needed more support in the form of a mentor at University. After Uni he said he wanted to try self-employment, to see if he could be self-motivated: I could have answered that for him, but it was important he should give it a go. I'm not even sure what he was doing: I'm sure he was very good at it, the self-promotion not so much. Anyway, he then got a job he heard about through one of his Uni friends, didn't enjoy it but it paid the bills. He reduced his hours to give himself time for HIS passion, first to four days pw, then to three days pw. Then he got a chance to travel for a couple of months, and just ditched the job: hasn't looked back.
I think it's worked better for him second time around because he now gets help with the things he's not good at: an accountant, musicians, artists, a publicist - and he can get on with designing puzzle games. Plus he's older, and better able to plough on with really boring stuff when necessary.
May not be a paid job, but did you check what the basic allowance is? I'd say it's not ungenerous, definitely do-able if you could work part-time or supplement it with self-employment. Not that I'd ever want to suggest doing it for money, and I'm not sure how predictable it would be.
Did you get feedback? Did you apply to others? It may take more than one attempt.
In the police? Nope. I don't know how far in advance shift patterns are allocated, nor how 'fixed' they are, but you definitely won't have fixed finish times, ever.
So okay, probably confusing how i worded for it - i started uni in sept 21. when i left there a month later, i worked for a pizza company til april. i then worked in a freight company from april to the end of june. i then worked back at the pizza company from late july to present. Recently reapplied for police.
I did tell the freight employer about my autism. I suggested a reasonable adjustment could be for employers to address me by name - apparently i was walking away from people mid conversation, unaware they were still talking to me. so it would seem quite reasonable for them to just ensure they say "so alex" rather than "so this is " etc etc. I also don't quite understand why it would have been an issue for them to tell other employees i had an autism diagnosis, given I gave them my permission?
They suggested it would be "unfair". However, what I have learnt and what equality experts will say, is that being equal doesn't mean having the same rights for everyone. An autistic person might need more help with something, so they may have what are percieved to be more "rights" than a non autistic person, but if this ensures they have an equal chance of success as a non autistic person, then that is equality.
So I feel the body language thing was 100% something they could accomodate reasonably, as for the rest which was mostly failing to retain information - that is what raised me and my dad's attention to the fact i probably had ADHD, because i'd already displayed other traits before this. I understand and actually looked into this whilst struggling, that the type of job i was doing was one of the worst for adhd people, so if I had a natural incompatability with that role, then that's fair enough. What I don't think was fair, was that despite knowing about my autism diagnosis, they took "bad body language" out of the autism context and basically said "we can't tolerate it, autism or not", even when it wasn't something i was actively aware of, and could be mitigated by addressing me or letting other employees know i was autistic, so they knew i wasn't being rude etc
Yeah there is an allowance, however like I said, if I want to do a career in a public service it would potentially leave me in a compromising position as to my impartiality. Also I don't like the party they represent at a national level (fine with it locally, but not at a national level, so i'd be forced to kind of support things i don't agree with).
Not thought about cinemas, but again, I feel it would not be stimulating enough for me and would feel way below what I'm capable of. Like maybe as a part time job, sure. As a career? It wouldn't make sense. I got fantastic grades at school, with the current job I'm doing the only requirement is to have a driving license and speak some english!
I agree with passions etc. My brother is 17 and is very successful selling chairs, he's naturally talented in business and bought a nearly new car at seventeen, a five figure sum. But the tax and admin is a nightmare.
As for the police - yeah it's not always a straight time, but I knew of someone up recently who is in the police service, based in one of the areas I'm looking to work and usually if there was a later time finishing, say by a few hours, it was because of waiting with a prisoner or a sectioned person in A&E etc, which I have seen first hand (not because i've been sectioned but when ive been in a&e the police are often accompanying people in there). However because I would have that expectation going into the job, and it would be one which I do have a "passion" for (at least, in what i think it will be), i feel its something i could tolerate more, because it would be a far more stimulating environment than any office job.
The feedback I got was to get more experience with local authorities. And I have reached out to a dozen ,with no success so I will try again but it feels like I'm talking to a brick wall. The job is only advertised once a year, and it only seems to be one company doing it.
The only other jobs which have been of interest would be something like pastoral work in schools. Because of my own experiences, and because I'm naturally quite empathetic I think I'd find it really rewarding helping people, and I know it is a pretty varied job, can be home visits, meeting with social workers/police etc. Experience is really the key. Tried reaching out to schools to offer mentoring but again, talking to a brick wall. Some of them want someone with a degree but experience is more essential from what I can gather. And only way of getting that other than being a teacher etc is to volunteer. I have seen their are apprentice social worker jobs but I'm not sure if I'd be good as a social worker.
A job in the short to medium term rather than say a "career" which I guess i've also recently considered is door work/SIA. Again, not the best use of my abilities, but it has some similarities to police if i then chose to pursue that role later; physically, i'm quite imposing, and I've been in challenging situations where i've been threatened before. Ironically, this current job I have had at dominos in both periods this year, and last year, i've been put at risk. I intervened when a woman was being racially abused in the car park and got pushed and spat at by some drunk moron, and last month or so i had to deliver to a campsite and was seconds away from being torn to shreds by an out of control rottweiler.
Lewis Carroll
If I were a manager even with apparent blessing from someone I'd be very wary of discussing people's condition with third parties - it's risky territory and a bit unfair to put it on them. If someone decides to later bully you over it and it all goes formal and blows up they'd be in a bad position
As above though, you can yourself be open about it, I get anxious a lot in certain types of situations and tell my closer colleagues - they won't, can't and shouldn't treat me different for it but it's just so we're clear and there an understanding why sone things cause problems that they'd see anyway.
That would go over a lot better than suggesting everyone uses your name every sentence, something they couldn't possibly enforce.
Being passionate about something isn’t enough. Lots of people have passions that wouldn’t work for them as a full time job for various reasons.
An audit of your strengths and less good areas might help you to target careers more effectively. You will benefit from someone who will be upfront with you, to do that.
Ultimately, I'm not aware of how my condition may manifest in a job until I start, and I may do things subsconsciously I'm not aware of. For example, myself and many oither autistic people find it difficult to have phone calls, and I often hang up on someone before they're finished. I was never really aware I did this until someone pointed it out to me.
But autistic police officers are far from being small in numbers, there's even a National Police Autistic Association, and a lot of it is well suited to autistic people because of the routine; clear rules and hirearchy. I think this was partly why I excelled in school but struggled with univeristy where I was expected to work independently and had lack of supervision. In the police, for starters for the first two years you're on probation, and in the force I've applied you're always paired with someone as a matter of routine anyway.
The army is also similar, but in what seems extremely discriminatory in 2022, autistic and adhd people are barred from serving, which makes zero to no sense. That said in that environment bullying is rife and also with my dyspraxia, i can struggle with coordination.