Divorce Laws!!!

smyeung

I'm originally from England,but met my husband in Scotland and we got married there. It was an abusive relationship and after 8 hard yrs, i finally left him and took the kids with me. At the time i was very desperate and went back home to England and moved in with my dad. The only possessions i took with me was the car, and some items of clothing for me and the kids.
That was 2yrs ago. Right now I am going thru with the divorce and i'm told English laws are different from Scottish laws and that I would have to consult a solicitor in Scotland regarding the matter and my divorce settelment. The whole process has been so complicated, not to mention how stressful i'm feeling.
We were self-employed thru out the 8yrs...a business which i mainly helped him to build and invested all my own savings towards it aswell. We have a detached bungalow and several cars and lived quite a lavish lifestyle. He is still working in the business, living in the house, only pays me £43 maintenance a week, which took the csa over a year....and he drives around in a new BMW!!!! His lifestyle hasnt change one bit.
He has told me he will not pay me a single penny and will do all that he can to delay the divorce process...he wont let go of any assets and insists we go through the courts...I can't believe it has been 2 yrs now, and i'm still waiting on the courts to make him sell the house, the business and give me my fair share!!!
I'm struggling to provide for the kids, i'm still living with my dad because i cant afford to move and i even had to sell the car!!!
How come i'm always reading in the papers about these fathers moaning that they had to sell this and that and wife took everything...etc,etc....courts are denying them access to the kids...etc..etc....when i cant even get a single court in the land to force a penny out of him....and despite his violent behaviour, having threatend to kill me and his failed attempts to kidnap the kids I cant even stop him from getting access!!!!! Because a supposed organisation known as CAFCASS believed him to be a 'reasonably behaved individual' and recommended to the courts that he be given access again!!! How the hell can they tell from a 60minute interview with the guy when i've lived with him for 8yrs!!!!
By the time the courts get round to it he would have sold all the assets, transfer away the money, and i would be facing bankruptcy!!!!
Shouldn't a divorce mean the same thing wether in England or Scotland????? Do we need to question then, do married couples live differently if they are in Scotland to couples in England?????

A Desperate Mother

xxx

cafenervosa_2

I've no idea to the Divorce Laws but I would think you will be entitled to half of everything if not more.

I am sure you've come to the right place for advice & I can't see you looking back.

Good luck.

jockettuk

contact a scottish lawyer asap if nothing else mabey they can stop him getting rid of all the assets by freezing them or something like that.... but contact one asap..if you dont know one ask your english lawyer to recommend or just pick up the yellow pages and pick one out but do it asap

Allexie

Hello and welcome tangerine

Sorry no advice to give.... just wanted to say you have my sympathy and hope you get things sorted soon. Stick with us..there are some very nice, very helpful people here.

Best of luck :-*

Debt_Free_Chick

In England, the divorcing couples must settle the splitting of the finances - assets & debts - themselves, first. Or at least, they must attempt to do this. Normally the process is that you do this between your solicitors. You both fill out a financial information statement showing everything you own and owe. There is a lengthy process to-ing & fro-ing between solicitors until you reach an agreement. Once agreement is reached, this is lodged with the Court as part of the divorce.

The Court will only split up the finances if the couple are unable to agree - but you must have gone through the process first, including a process called financial dispute resolution (FDR).

Have a look here
http://www.opfs.org.uk/helpdesk/splitting_up/children_and_divorce.php
It's a site dedicated to one parent families in Scotland and seems to cover some of the process for divorce.

I don't think the process is very different in Scotland, so your best bet would be to find a Family Law solicitor asap and get the process started. If you're divorcing in Scotland, clearly you need a Scottish lawyer or one in England who has special knowledge of the Scottish process.

Good Luck

filigree_2

I recommend a site called https://www.ondivorce.co.uk, they have a forum where you can ask about this sort of thing. Several of the members are living in Scotland and may be able to cast some light on your particular troubles. Good luck.

Jay-Jay_4

tangerine, sorry to hear about your predicament. I hope things get worked out for you.

My divorce took over 2 years because of ex dragging his feet, in the end the courts decided the financial outcome although I ended up with much less than half.

I know what you mean about people who seem to screw their exes for everything, it's hard enough getting what you're entitled to In the end I guess it boils down to whether you want to fight or whether you can get what you need and make a clean break.

Good luck x

Prudent

The CSA will investigate cases where the non resident's parent's lifestyle is inconsistent with their stated earnings. I took a case against my ex- husband and won. He was made to increase his contribution by 30%. He also had to repay the money he had cheated us out of. It was a very slow process. When the new assessment was made I was then told it could not be loaded onto the computer sytem due to technical problems and had to wait 6 months before it finally was >:( In the end,after 188 phone calls and letters, I only achieved this by telling them I would go to the press in 7 days if they didn't sort the problem. On day 6 the computer miraculously ??? let them log on the details and the new assessment came into effect.

I won my CSA case by providing plenty of evidence. One way I supported my case was by getting his P60 via the courts as part of separation action. It proved that his income was higher than he stated. Now his maintance is reassessed annually based on his p60.The CSA will do this on request. So to anyone else out there who feels the CSA are being misled, get them to request a p60.

rushnowt

I was so very sad to read your post tangerine, and to be honest brought back a lot of buried feelings of my own, although i wasn't married to him we had been together for many years, bought a house etc etc and i eventually left as could take no more of the violence, i recieved sod all but with no kids, i was just glad to be free of him

I havent got any real advice as not at all clued up on Scottish law, but can only reitterate what as previously been said. Get a solicitor now and make him work for his bloody money, dont allow him to sit on his backside while your suffering the concequenses. If your not happy with any situation including access to the kids etc collate all information you can, when contacting anyone always make sure you write all the details down, times, who you spoke to, get a sperate book and write everything down it will come in usefull, keep copies of everything you send to check back on and to support you if you are told it was never recieved.

Take the B*$**** to the cleaners  ;)

Good luck and take care of yourself and those beautiful kids of yours.  :-*

And finally You go girl ! your well out of it and I know things will get better I promise   ;D

ps. I hope you have your name down for a house with the council and all the housing associations, and dont forget to claim everything your entitled to and if your not sure claim anyway.

Debs x

Joannekerry

Good luck to you in the nicest way Get a solicitor, Im assuming that as you are living with your parents you have no other income and so therefore you can get legal aid. What really p***** me off in cases like this is that his friends and family will believe that in some way it will be your fault Be strong, be confident and fight for what you believe in, dont loose focus. Unfortunately he will get limited access to the children but dont worry, from reading up on a "shrinks" point of view he wont do anything to them but you have to remember not to "bad mouth" him infront of the children, let them draw there own conclusions as firstly he will use this against you and secondly after a "rough" period of time the children will know that there mother was right.

Good luck and please keep us posted on what the on going outcomes are.

Archsweet

Hi Tangerine

I recommend (if you haven't already) calling the national domestic violenbce helpline, womens aid. They can usually (through their local branches) recommend a lawyer who specialises in DV cases. Also, any lawyer - I suppose this must be true in Scotland too-?) should be happy to hear brief details of your case, before you instruct them. If the law ISN'T different then they should tell you you don't need to hire a Scottish law specialist.

Good luck - and if my DV divorce takes 2 years I'll be amazed - like your my ex has convinced people he's a nice boy really.

-Sweet