Parent stealing disability benefits from my little sister

tomtom256

rajd said:

Anyone have any ideas about the car? 

Contact the mobility scheme and explain what is happening. The mobility car should only be used for things related to your sister.

Is University in the same place your mother in law lices? If not, this strenghtens the misuse/abuse of the car.

If your sister does indeed nolonger require an appointee anymore, this can be removed and payments can revert back to her and at that point she can look at returning the car.

poppy12345

You can contact motability on 0300 456 4566 and report the misuse of the vehicle. it would be easy to prove if your sister is no longer living at home.

huckster

If a concern is raised with PIP about the payments being wrongly used by the appointee, they may stop payments until the matter is investigated.   Have seen Council welfare team send letters to DWP to raise concerns and DWP have visiting officers who will look into issues raised.

Can University welfare team help your Sister with this.

Re the motability car, this is a bit tricky as mother may say they need the car, for when the sister in not at Uni, to help her get about. 

You could also raise a concern, as benefit allegedly not being used for the purpose it was obtained for . See link below.

https://www.gov.uk/report-benefit-fraud

rajd

Thanks that’s all useful. 

Personally I have no issue bringing any authorities into it. But I also don’t want so much disruption to two young people at very important stages of their education. 

We’ve spoken to the sister, she is going to see welfare people tomorrow to discuss. 

Re:the car - the mother doesn’t have a another car but she can do without or get her own. The father still does most of the driving the kids around and shopping etc. he has his own car. 

NedS

tomtom256 said:

rajd said:

Anyone have any ideas about the car? 

Contact the mobility scheme and explain what is happening. The mobility car should only be used for things related to your sister.

Is University in the same place your mother in law lices? If not, this strenghtens the misuse/abuse of the car.

Totally agree, the car use has to be beneficial for the sister and clearly this is not the case. You originally stated the car was taken out in 2019 so the 3 year contact will be due to end very shortly. It does not sound as if it is in the sister's interests to renew it.

tomtom256 said:

If your sister does indeed no longer require an appointee anymore, this can be removed and payments can revert back to her and at that point she can look at returning the car.

Agreed, if the sister is able to live independently at University then they absolutely do not need an appointee and should apply for this to be removed.

rajd

Sorry wife just corrected me, the car was only taken out in May 2021. 

RedMonty

I would tread carefully. I'm disabled myself. Uni is a very difficult time for anyone, but especially for disabled people.  Are you in contact with your sister in law? If so, focus on building up the relationship, supporting her, listening to her etc.  

Her peace of mind and studies take priority. She's used to the current situation, she's made the break to start independent study at university etc. (Does she still live at home or has she moved away to student lodgings?) 

Disrupting her relationship with her mother could severely affect her university studies. 

That said, I fully agree PIP should be in her name and go into her bank account. She needs that money to be able to fully support herself and enjoy university life on a basis of equality with other students, buy herself things she needs, have coffees with other students etc. That's explicitly what PIP is for. 

The link given https://www.scope.org.uk/advice-and-support/removing-an-appointee/ is very clear that your sister in law is capable of requesting herself that her mum be removed as appointee.  To be honest, if someone is capable of making that request, then they're likely capable of dealing with their own money.  

I also want to add that freedom as a person includes freedom to make bad decisions. She's going to make some bad spending decisions. That's normal in any young person. You need to be there to explain (but not dictate) money issues especially if she doesn't have much experience in dealing with money. Experience is gained through making mistakes! 

About Motability, it should 100% be in her name, ESPECIALLY if she has the ability and desire to learn to drive. I dealt with Motability for a young disabled family member who was 17. (1 year below legal driving age, but disabled can start early.)  Motability were very happy to pay for driving lessons, full insurance, breakdown cover, provide car, pay for an electric charging point to be installed etc for this 17 year old. 

Have a look at Motability's website, then ring them up and have a chat with them, but don't give your sister's details. Just talk to them to build up a picture of what they can offer for for someone of your sister's age and particular disability. You can also ring again at a different time, and ask for advice re the existing car lease, changing the car, possible fraud issues etc, again WITHOUT giving sister's details.

(It's possible that the mother fully thinks (or made Motability think) that her daughter is incapable of learning to drive, hence the over-25-only car. It's quite common for parents of disabled children to not recognise that their kids have grown up and matured and are now capable of living fully independently or indeed holding down jobs and having high flying careers.)  

Then you can talk to your sister again, and gently offer her some options. Respecting her as a person means offering her options, explaining them, and letting her decide for herself what she want to do. And accepting it if she makes an informed decision not to make any changes to PIP / Motability etc. She may need time to mull it over in her mind, or not be prepared to take it on right now. You can bring it up again later.

Your role is to be an ally, following her lead, keeping her informed of the situation, accepting her decisions about her life. Not arranging things behind her back. You're welcome to take what I say with a grain of salt, you're the one who knows her not me, but I hope my comments are helpful. 

poppy12345

RedMonty said:

About Motability, it should 100% be in her name, ESPECIALLY if she has the ability and desire to learn to drive. I dealt with Motability for a young disabled family member who was 17. (1 year below legal driving age, but disabled can start early.)  Motability were very happy to pay for driving lessons, full insurance, breakdown cover, provide car, pay for an electric charging point to be installed etc for this 17 year old. 

If the mother is her appointee then the vehicle will be in the appointees name and the mother will have had to sign for everything. I know this because i'm my daughters appointee for PIP and we collected her car in April this year and it was me that signed for it and all letters come to me, not my daughter.

Legal driving age for a car is 17. If a person receives either high rate mobility DLA or Enhanced mobility PIP then they can learn to drive at 16. https://www.disabilitydrivinginstructors.com/driving-advice/first-time-drivers/driving-at-16-with-high-rate-mobility-of-pip-dla/

nannytone_2

Where is the sister going to live outside of term time?  While I agree things aren't what they should be,
I would be careful to watch the language you use.
Stealing is a criminal offence and you risk making HER situation worse.

rajd

Thanks for the recent comments. Especially RedMonty for the openness. 

Just to clarify - my sister has asked us for help. She is scared of her mother as when she has asked for her money in the past, she is shouted at. Told it’s her rent contribution or that the money is spent on her. Nothing is behind her back or without her knowledge. Except this thread. 

She has left the home, living in halls and so far doing ok. When she gets overwhelmed, she calls my wife, her sister. 

She doesn’t intend to go home at holidays either. However if she does, she had her fathers or if she goes to her mothers, she is entitled to given the divorce settlement. Worse case scenario she comes to us. She pays her own rent at uni, saves her money and spends it very maturely. She as many of us, didn’t have exposure to paying bills at that age and I totally agree regarding mistakes.

I see it as stealing and financial abuse tbh. So yes, criminal.