Is it acceptable to address someone as "slacker" in the workplace?

Ath_Wat

Brie said:

You shouldn't use it.  It's a derogatory term.  Personally, I would have thought that was response enough.

But as you insist on not focusing on what I've answered but instead on additional questions, yes I think you shouldn't use it with your colleague.  You think it's a joke or ironic or whatever.  Maybe they are fine with that.  Maybe they were fine with that when you first said it but now the joke is no longer funny.  Maybe your other colleagues think you are being a bully talking to someone in the office in such a nasty way.  What happens if you get called into a meeting with your manager, with HR and are accused of being a bully and acting in a way that is contrary to acceptable office practices?  Will you be happy to be dismissed/suspended/reprimanded for the sake of a word that others have told you may not be acceptable??

In the scenario I have outlined, I have no doubt firstly that this wouldn't happen, as I have told you I am friendly with them and the situation is a one off, not me yelling it at them constantly, and secondly that any HR department would see what was said, realise it was not remotely bullying but ironic praise if anything, and take no action.  In the situation I have outlined, of course, not in a different situation.

Brie

No

Ok - well I wish you well in your work situations.  Seriously, I do.  

Ath_Wat

Here's another one for you - we are both in work, we are friends, I call him a slacker jokingly, but I am referring to his performance in a football match we both played in at the weekend becuase, you know, we are friends - acceptable, or unacceptable?

If I called him a "lazy **@!", that would be unacceptable due to people listening not liking the word "**@!".  Is slacker, to some of you, bad enough that it offends you in the same way?  That's the simple question I'm not getting direct answers to.

I honestly find the idea that I should not use a negative word - not an inherently offensive word, but just a negative one - in a joke with a friend at work in case someone overhears and is offended to be extraordinary, which is why I am asking these questions.

Brie

No

Ath_Wat said:

Here's another one for you - we are both in work, we are friends, I call him a slacker jokingly, but I am referring to his performance in a football match we both played in at the weekend becuase, you know, we are friends - acceptable, or unacceptable?

If I called him a "lazy **@!", that would be unacceptable due to people listening not liking the word "**@!".  Is slacker, to some of you, bad enough that it offends you in the same way?  That's the simple question I'm not getting direct answers to.

In the pub after the game, having a beer, drowning your sorrows together as your slacker friend let down the team and assuming he's got a sense of humour about it - well, that's up to you.  Might hurt his feelings though.  Sometimes friends do even when they don't mean to.  "sorry Bob! I was only joking!! Don't cry!!!! You'll water down this lousy beer!!!  HAHAHA!!!"

At work.  Not acceptable.  Doesn't matter what the circumstances are.

Ath_Wat

Brie said:

Ath_Wat said:

Here's another one for you - we are both in work, we are friends, I call him a slacker jokingly, but I am referring to his performance in a football match we both played in at the weekend becuase, you know, we are friends - acceptable, or unacceptable?

If I called him a "lazy **@!", that would be unacceptable due to people listening not liking the word "**@!".  Is slacker, to some of you, bad enough that it offends you in the same way?  That's the simple question I'm not getting direct answers to.

In the pub after the game, having a beer, drowning your sorrows together as your slacker friend let down the team and assuming he's got a sense of humour about it - well, that's up to you.  Might hurt his feelings though.  Sometimes friends do even when they don't mean to.  "sorry Bob! I was only joking!! Don't cry!!!! You'll water down this lousy beer!!!  HAHAHA!!!"

At work.  Not acceptable.  Doesn't matter what the circumstances are.

Well, fair enough, I don't think many people share your opinion on that.  I am confident no HR departments would.

Superfuse

Ath_Wat said:

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Brie said:

Ath_Wat said:

Brie said:

Is it your intention to be condescending?  Or did you simply not understand my response?

I think "slacker" is a derogatory term.  I don't think it should be used in the workplace.  

Irony, sarcasm, humour, even anger can be very effective in the workplace when used properly.  But they are often not used properly so sometimes it's best to err on the side of caution.  Some people won't understand the intent.  Some people have a different cultural background.  Some people don't have English as their first, second or third language.  Lots of reasons to use one's words carefully.

This is what I am trying to get to the bottom of.  Do you think it is so offensive that it should never be used at all?

If I have a colleague I know well and use it with them, and both of us are fine with it, do you think it shouldn't be used as people overhearing it will be offended, like, for example, a racist term or a crude sexual swear word?

I'm quite happy to say it shouldn't be used as a joke with someone you don't know well enough to know how they will take it; I've not claimed otherwise.  

I really don't know what you don't understand in my previous replies.  I don't think it should be used in the workplace.

If you answered my question it would help me understand.

If I have a colleague I know well and use it with them, and both of us are fine with it, do you think it shouldn't be used as people overhearing it will be offended, like, for example, a racist term or a crude sexual swear word?

That's either a yes or a no. If it's a yes, can you explain exactly what part of it would offend you, because I can't understand why a bystander would be offended in such a situation.  

How would you establish that your colleague was fine with it?

In this scenario I know them, and I know they are.  I've said that.

If I don't know that, I shouldn't say it. I've said that as well. You seem to just want to keep pulling back to ask the question "is it ok to use it if you are not sure how it will be received", which is a different question with a different answer.  Context.

I'm just wondering how you know that they're happy with being addressed as a slacker if you haven't checked in some way. They may well be taking offence each time.

Ath_Wat

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Brie said:

Ath_Wat said:

Brie said:

Is it your intention to be condescending?  Or did you simply not understand my response?

I think "slacker" is a derogatory term.  I don't think it should be used in the workplace.  

Irony, sarcasm, humour, even anger can be very effective in the workplace when used properly.  But they are often not used properly so sometimes it's best to err on the side of caution.  Some people won't understand the intent.  Some people have a different cultural background.  Some people don't have English as their first, second or third language.  Lots of reasons to use one's words carefully.

This is what I am trying to get to the bottom of.  Do you think it is so offensive that it should never be used at all?

If I have a colleague I know well and use it with them, and both of us are fine with it, do you think it shouldn't be used as people overhearing it will be offended, like, for example, a racist term or a crude sexual swear word?

I'm quite happy to say it shouldn't be used as a joke with someone you don't know well enough to know how they will take it; I've not claimed otherwise.  

I really don't know what you don't understand in my previous replies.  I don't think it should be used in the workplace.

If you answered my question it would help me understand.

If I have a colleague I know well and use it with them, and both of us are fine with it, do you think it shouldn't be used as people overhearing it will be offended, like, for example, a racist term or a crude sexual swear word?

That's either a yes or a no. If it's a yes, can you explain exactly what part of it would offend you, because I can't understand why a bystander would be offended in such a situation.  

How would you establish that your colleague was fine with it?

In this scenario I know them, and I know they are.  I've said that.

If I don't know that, I shouldn't say it. I've said that as well. You seem to just want to keep pulling back to ask the question "is it ok to use it if you are not sure how it will be received", which is a different question with a different answer.  Context.

I'm just wondering how you know that they're happy with being addressed as a slacker if you haven't checked in some way. They may well be taking offence each time.

Because it's a hypothetical situation and I have said I know.  Do you really want me to outline a lot of hypothetical situations of the way I found out?

Superfuse

Ath_Wat said:

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Brie said:

Ath_Wat said:

Brie said:

Is it your intention to be condescending?  Or did you simply not understand my response?

I think "slacker" is a derogatory term.  I don't think it should be used in the workplace.  

Irony, sarcasm, humour, even anger can be very effective in the workplace when used properly.  But they are often not used properly so sometimes it's best to err on the side of caution.  Some people won't understand the intent.  Some people have a different cultural background.  Some people don't have English as their first, second or third language.  Lots of reasons to use one's words carefully.

This is what I am trying to get to the bottom of.  Do you think it is so offensive that it should never be used at all?

If I have a colleague I know well and use it with them, and both of us are fine with it, do you think it shouldn't be used as people overhearing it will be offended, like, for example, a racist term or a crude sexual swear word?

I'm quite happy to say it shouldn't be used as a joke with someone you don't know well enough to know how they will take it; I've not claimed otherwise.  

I really don't know what you don't understand in my previous replies.  I don't think it should be used in the workplace.

If you answered my question it would help me understand.

If I have a colleague I know well and use it with them, and both of us are fine with it, do you think it shouldn't be used as people overhearing it will be offended, like, for example, a racist term or a crude sexual swear word?

That's either a yes or a no. If it's a yes, can you explain exactly what part of it would offend you, because I can't understand why a bystander would be offended in such a situation.  

How would you establish that your colleague was fine with it?

In this scenario I know them, and I know they are.  I've said that.

If I don't know that, I shouldn't say it. I've said that as well. You seem to just want to keep pulling back to ask the question "is it ok to use it if you are not sure how it will be received", which is a different question with a different answer.  Context.

I'm just wondering how you know that they're happy with being addressed as a slacker if you haven't checked in some way. They may well be taking offence each time.

Because it's a hypothetical situation and I have said I know.  Do you really want me to outline a lot of hypothetical situations of the way I found out?

Yeah. I'm interested in how someone would establish that this particular term was fine.

Ath_Wat

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Brie said:

Ath_Wat said:

Brie said:

Is it your intention to be condescending?  Or did you simply not understand my response?

I think "slacker" is a derogatory term.  I don't think it should be used in the workplace.  

Irony, sarcasm, humour, even anger can be very effective in the workplace when used properly.  But they are often not used properly so sometimes it's best to err on the side of caution.  Some people won't understand the intent.  Some people have a different cultural background.  Some people don't have English as their first, second or third language.  Lots of reasons to use one's words carefully.

This is what I am trying to get to the bottom of.  Do you think it is so offensive that it should never be used at all?

If I have a colleague I know well and use it with them, and both of us are fine with it, do you think it shouldn't be used as people overhearing it will be offended, like, for example, a racist term or a crude sexual swear word?

I'm quite happy to say it shouldn't be used as a joke with someone you don't know well enough to know how they will take it; I've not claimed otherwise.  

I really don't know what you don't understand in my previous replies.  I don't think it should be used in the workplace.

If you answered my question it would help me understand.

If I have a colleague I know well and use it with them, and both of us are fine with it, do you think it shouldn't be used as people overhearing it will be offended, like, for example, a racist term or a crude sexual swear word?

That's either a yes or a no. If it's a yes, can you explain exactly what part of it would offend you, because I can't understand why a bystander would be offended in such a situation.  

How would you establish that your colleague was fine with it?

In this scenario I know them, and I know they are.  I've said that.

If I don't know that, I shouldn't say it. I've said that as well. You seem to just want to keep pulling back to ask the question "is it ok to use it if you are not sure how it will be received", which is a different question with a different answer.  Context.

I'm just wondering how you know that they're happy with being addressed as a slacker if you haven't checked in some way. They may well be taking offence each time.

Because it's a hypothetical situation and I have said I know.  Do you really want me to outline a lot of hypothetical situations of the way I found out?

Yeah. I'm interested in how someone would establish that this particular term was fine.

Hypothetically then, I sent them a letter asking it pretty please would it be ok if I called them a slacker in a jokey way, and they replied "Yes, don't be silly".

In the real world of course you don't have to directly ask people you know well whether something like that will offend them.  You can make a judgement on the fact that you know them.

Superfuse

Ath_Wat said:

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Superfuse said:

Ath_Wat said:

Brie said:

Ath_Wat said:

Brie said:

Is it your intention to be condescending?  Or did you simply not understand my response?

I think "slacker" is a derogatory term.  I don't think it should be used in the workplace.  

Irony, sarcasm, humour, even anger can be very effective in the workplace when used properly.  But they are often not used properly so sometimes it's best to err on the side of caution.  Some people won't understand the intent.  Some people have a different cultural background.  Some people don't have English as their first, second or third language.  Lots of reasons to use one's words carefully.

This is what I am trying to get to the bottom of.  Do you think it is so offensive that it should never be used at all?

If I have a colleague I know well and use it with them, and both of us are fine with it, do you think it shouldn't be used as people overhearing it will be offended, like, for example, a racist term or a crude sexual swear word?

I'm quite happy to say it shouldn't be used as a joke with someone you don't know well enough to know how they will take it; I've not claimed otherwise.  

I really don't know what you don't understand in my previous replies.  I don't think it should be used in the workplace.

If you answered my question it would help me understand.

If I have a colleague I know well and use it with them, and both of us are fine with it, do you think it shouldn't be used as people overhearing it will be offended, like, for example, a racist term or a crude sexual swear word?

That's either a yes or a no. If it's a yes, can you explain exactly what part of it would offend you, because I can't understand why a bystander would be offended in such a situation.  

How would you establish that your colleague was fine with it?

In this scenario I know them, and I know they are.  I've said that.

If I don't know that, I shouldn't say it. I've said that as well. You seem to just want to keep pulling back to ask the question "is it ok to use it if you are not sure how it will be received", which is a different question with a different answer.  Context.

I'm just wondering how you know that they're happy with being addressed as a slacker if you haven't checked in some way. They may well be taking offence each time.

Because it's a hypothetical situation and I have said I know.  Do you really want me to outline a lot of hypothetical situations of the way I found out?

Yeah. I'm interested in how someone would establish that this particular term was fine.

Hypothetically then, I sent them a letter asking it pretty please would it be ok if I called them a slacker in a jokey way, and they replied "Yes, don't be silly".

In the real world of course you don't have to directly ask people you know well whether something like that will offend them.  You can make a judgement on the fact that you know them.

Could your judgement ever be incorrect?