Realistic pension gains?

michaels

I think those who succeed in life tend to put it down to skill and hard work and those who don't blame bad luck. In reality both apply to both apply to both groups: someone could be skilled and hard working but get wiped out by a twist of fate (unforecastable pandemic or energy crisis) or get lucky over a single album (tubular bells) and use the capital to start a mega brand.

anonmoose

I think you should at least consider other options B0bby. Years ago I changed from a stressful corporate job to a fairly low skilled self employed position on lower pay.

The office politics and stress of the job was just getting to me too much. 

I still have moments in my new job that are slightly uncomfortable/stressful. Eg new client meetings I don't love as its the bit I have to put on the corporate/professional/sales front that isn't really me. And I have lots of clients so have to do this at least once/twice a month.

But the feeling of being your own boss is great as ultimately its on your terms and you can choose who you work for once you are established. Is there anything self employed you could try?

What I am trying to say is sometimes in any job you will have uncomfortable/boring/slightly stressful moments but it shouldn't take over your life.

It should be on your terms and it sounds like that balance isn't there for you so see if you can find other options.

B0bbyEwing

Aware that we're in a pensions forum and not my own personal counselling forum I don't want to spend too much time dooming-&-glooming but to respond to:

michaels said:

I think those who succeed in life tend to put it down to skill and hard work and those who don't blame bad luck. In reality both apply to both apply to both groups: someone could be skilled and hard working but get wiped out by a twist of fate (unforecastable pandemic or energy crisis) or get lucky over a single album (tubular bells) and use the capital to start a mega brand.

Maybe in a nutshell it is a case of things happen as a result of decisions made. 

Which I know is obvious & applies to all but it's basically the situation.

Some folk are very driven. Some go to Uni, push on for the big high paying jobs, others are on the bottom rung but then something happens, they fall lucky, they end up really well paid, others never get off that bottom rung until the day they die and various other situations for various other people.

It's just....life, I suppose.

anonmoose said:

I think you should at least consider other options B0bby. Years ago I changed from a stressful corporate job to a fairly low skilled self employed position on lower pay.

The office politics and stress of the job was just getting to me too much. 

I may not be good at many things but I do excel at a small number of things - stress, short fuse, worry. You know, all the things that you don't want to be good at.

Work politics has caused me no end of grief over the years. Water off a ducks back to some, sits festering in my mind at night to me. 
Strange & uninteresting story for you maybe - but I actually had a falling out with a guy at work once. I can't remember how we got talking again. I think it was after a period of stress that caused me to be off a short while for me to calm down.
Anyway, he asked how I was, I brushed it off thinking he was going to take the piddle as per. It was odd as we had avoided each other for a while too. Anyway, he said something that made me think this guy may actually be being genuine, so I got talking to him how I'd been feeling.
He asked what my escape was. What you talking about, "my escape"? My route out of here?
No, your escape he said. What do you do to detach from the world, from life, from negativity. What can you do where your mind is at ease? 
I'm still semi thinking this is a wind up. Asked him what he was going on about. He told me what he did to help himself (which I forget). Then I realised - I detach when watching movies. He said right, you need to allocate time to do that so you can detach & have some time where your mind is at ease. It's not a fix-all but it's a helping tool.
And so that's what I do. Just allocate time in the week to detach. Doesn't fix the causes but provides a break from a racing mind.

I should add - we got on really well after that chat. Crazy, we didn't talk beforehand & just that 1 chat changed it completely between us.

My partner switched jobs this year. Slightly off topic this. Anyway, there's a lot of organisation politics. Some of the stuff I get told, I couldn't deal with it. It's ridiculous & my fuse is now too short, but she can handle it. I can't see how. Doesn't it annoy you I ask? Well yeah it's annoying, but I just do my piece & go home. Funny how we can be so totally different.

Which having said that, I remember saying that to management once when they accused me of intentionally causing arguments basically. I intentionally come in to wind the boss up was the basic accusation. I said no, I just want to come in, do my bit (exact phrase I used) and go home. Well they said, we hope you'd do more than "your bit". That's just how it is - never satisfied, always wanting more & when you give more they want more on top of that. You can never do enough & how dare you want to go home (that's another I've had put my way - all you want to do is go home, said to me because once I'd worked 10.5 hours I was desperately trying to work as quick as possible to finish a job so that our already late finish time didn't end up being even more late (we don't have a say over overtime no matter how many people say that can't be the case), and I made an error. Sorry but the last thing on my mind when I've been up since 5am & worked 10.5-11.0 hours is the desire to do more hours & have even less time at home than about the 1-2 hours I get already once you factor in cooking, showering & sleeping. I'm quite happy doing the usual 10 hours but when it stretches over that, yes I just want to go home. Not a crime.


Sorry that's enough of a grumble for today. We really should get back on topic

LV_426

Don't worry, it's a sombre day all round. My pension's down a grand on last week!
(I'll probably get thrown in the tower for that.)

Kim1965

I am 58 soon and want to retire. I feel in many ways I am holding out for a few more years until I can.
In your case i think you said your 25 yrs off retirement? In the working environment you describe I cannot see how you could cope with a quarter of a century of abuse. However difficult you would find it to move jobs surely this would be the easier to endure. 

Albermarle

Some folk are very driven. Some go to Uni, push on for the big high paying jobs, others are on the bottom rung but then something happens, they fall lucky, they end up really well paid, 

Work politics has caused me no end of grief over the years. Water off a ducks back to some, sits festering in my mind at night to me. 
Strange & uninteresting story for you maybe - but I actually had a falling out with a guy at work once

And some folk are not that driven or lucky or ambitious, but just do their job and keep their noses clean and their a***s covered and can be quite successful.

Having a bad boss is a complete pain, but having an employee who regularly 'falls out' with or upsets colleagues, is not great either. 

Nearly always two sides to every story.

B0bbyEwing

Albermarle said:

Some folk are very driven. Some go to Uni, push on for the big high paying jobs, others are on the bottom rung but then something happens, they fall lucky, they end up really well paid, 

Work politics has caused me no end of grief over the years. Water off a ducks back to some, sits festering in my mind at night to me. 
Strange & uninteresting story for you maybe - but I actually had a falling out with a guy at work once

And some folk are not that driven or lucky or ambitious, but just do their job and keep their noses clean and their a***s covered and can be quite successful.

Having a bad boss is a complete pain, but having an employee who regularly 'falls out' with or upsets colleagues, is not great either. 

Nearly always two sides to every story.

Quite right.
Though I would disagree and say there's always two sides to every story  

Obviously leaving that open for someone to come in with the classic line of 3 sides - your side, their side & the truth. 

Badum Tshhhhhhhhhhhh & all that.

anonmoose

What I would say B0bby is that high level IQ intelligence is only required in a small number of jobs so I wouldn't get too hung up on intelligence being a stumbling block.

Emotional intelligence on the other hand is what does help you succeed and that is about being a team player, not loosing your temper, negotiating with skill and having empathy for other people. We are not all naturals at this but I personally work towards being more emotionally intelligent as you need that in every job.

Try to manage your anger and short fuse by reacting a different way to situations, I know it's not easy but trust me you can make changes in your life. Once you start it is powerful.

That story about the guy at work was interesting because it sounds like you just got off on the wrong foot with him and then held the grudge. One open conversation and you saw how you might have got on all along.

I am not criticising B0bby, I feel like I can say this as it is something I also struggle with to a certain extent. I have a tendancy to think the worst of people until they show me different. It closes you off to so many possibilities if you don't challenge your views regularly.

Albermarle

Emotional intelligence on the other hand is what does help you succeed and that is about being a team player, not loosing your temper, negotiating with skill and having empathy for other people. We are not all naturals at this but I personally work towards being more emotionally intelligent as you need that in every job.

Very true, and I would add to this 'embracing change' in managementspeak. Or perhaps better to say at least not resisting all change.

B0bbyEwing

anonmoose said:

Emotional intelligence on the other hand is what does help you succeed and that is about being a team player, not loosing your temper, negotiating with skill and having empathy for other people. We are not all naturals at this but I personally work towards being more emotionally intelligent as you need that in every job.

Try to manage your anger and short fuse by reacting a different way to situations, I know it's not easy but trust me you can make changes in your life. Once you start it is powerful.

That story about the guy at work was interesting because it sounds like you just got off on the wrong foot with him and then held the grudge. One open conversation and you saw how you might have got on all along.

I am not criticising B0bby, I feel like I can say this as it is something I also struggle with to a certain extent. I have a tendancy to think the worst of people until they show me different. It closes you off to so many possibilities if you don't challenge your views regularly.

Don't worry, I'm not taking what you say as criticism. 

Just to offer a view from the other side of the fence though - 

"losing temper" - At the end of the day, I think even the best will snap somewhere along the line. We're only human at the end of the day. Is this me excusing a temper loss? No. What it is is me saying just because one or two stories get told does not mean someone murders someone every day. 

Some people will take it as - oh they detailed a story where they didn't get along with someone. Then they admitted that their fuse is a bit short. I now conclude that they go in to work daily with a hammer threatening people.

Regards the story with the guy at work you responded to - I was with you on the wrong foot part. Yeah, i fully agree. 
I also appreciate you only have what I tell you. The full story isn't really relevant or interesting but after we got talking again we had a chat & the PAIR of us said I was a <censored>, and then the PAIR of us said just forget it. 
So it wasn't a case of ME holding the grudge - as in the sole cause of the continuation.

Believe it or not, I've been working on being more calm. Still, we can only do so much & I'm not sure people can change who they are at the root. For example, you could have an outburst but then you're fine as you got it off your chest. That may be the character you are. You then spend time trying to supress that because you put others before yourself, you don't want to be seen as having the outburst - but it's who you actually are. So In the first instance the other people think oh this person is calm now. If they're total idiots then they may even try and test how calm you are (been there, had that) but then you go away from the situation and it eats you because you wanted to have that outburst, you just worked really hard at not having it because "it's not the done thing". Do you feel any calmer in yourself at the end of it all? That's up for debate.