Staying with Family - Mattress Issue

sheramber

I stay at my son's once a week. Their spare bed mattress was ok to sleep on but it is very difficult to turn over as you couldn't get any purchase,

Due to an invasion of two spiders ( which my DIL is terrified of) in the other two options  when she was home alone , she slept in the spare bed. 

She apologised profusely, to me , about the state of the mattress and a new was bought within a week.

DullGreyGuy

Moonlightfaery said:
However, I would like to make them aware of it. Then coming to some solution where everybody is happy.

From a purely personal perspective I would have no issues with someone tell me our guest bed isnt too comfortable... I know how much I paid for it and imagine it isnt brilliant. I would have an issue with a guest saying they want to "come to a solution that everyone is happy with" about my guest bed.

Retireinten

I bought a memory foam double mattress topper for use on a  decent quality sofa bed which I wanted to make extra comfortable for my elderly in laws when they stayed. Since then I've started taking it on holiday with me. A bit sad I know but I suffer with back  pain and poor sleep and we often stay in caravans on mattresses that are literally torture to sleep on. The topper  transforms our sleep. 

Next time you stay, I would just let them know that your are suffering with your back and  you will be bringing your topper as you sleep better on a softer mattress. They don't need to know you're buying it for that purposr, make it about you, not there bed!

HampshireH

Moonlightfaery said:

Hello, 

We occasionally go down to visit my hubby’s brother’s family, and they always offer to let us stay. However, since they’ve moved house they have moved their old mattress to their spare bed. 

Unfortunately, I have noticed that the mattress causes me a bad back due to the dip in it. I have stayed a few times and not mentioned it but it’s gotten to the point where I can no longer stand to sleep in it. I’ve tried putting a camping mattress on it but it’s too noisy when I’m tossing and turning. Hubby won’t say anything to them as he feels he can’t tell them to buy a new mattress, so we shouldn’t stay there anymore. (Which I felt was a bit passive aggressive..) However, I would like to make them aware of it. Then coming to some solution where everybody is happy. I was thinking of mentioning it next time we’re down, maybe if it was ok to turn the mattress to see if it makes a diff. Failing that, offering to buy a mattress topper… and last resort to buy a “portable” one we take down with us every time. Unfortunately, I don’t get on with their sofas either so it can tend to aggravate anything else that’s hurting! (But I’ll keep the sofa issue to myself!) 

Do you think this is reasonable and not offensive? 

Most people don't buy a new mattress if there isn't anything wrong with their current one.

The very fact they have replaced this one could mean they know it's not comfortable anymore. They may not be surprised and certainly shouldn't be offended by your honesty.