My ex will not sell house am I stuck? (we own house)

elsien

You can’t count maintenance for your daughter as counting towards paying the mortgage. They are two different things. 

How did you work out how much you should be paying, and does it take into account any shared care/time she spends at yours? 

Becerrillo

ah yes of course my bad, The ex stopped me seeing my daughter but the original arrangement was every second weekend. My son (also her son) who is 9 who she kicked out lives with me though. My son has ASD and ADHD.

elsien

Did you use the CMS calculator? I’m guessing if she’s not working then she’s not paying anything towards your son as she should be? If you are overpaying you could consider rerunning the figures to help focus her mind? 

DE_612183

So she's paid 6*12*514 ( roughly ) = £37k + her deposit.
You've paid £28k to refurb.

So perhaps you start off at 50/50, but you may want to think about accepting less.

She's lived there for 11 years, you 6 - she probably thinks of it as her home 100%.

I'd probably send the letter - at least that gets things moving - but don't be surprised if you get an angry response...

Also get your figures right - I don't see where the £70k / £140k comes from.

Would you ultimately be prepared to move on with your life by just getting off the deeds and mortgage?

TBagpuss

Becerrillo said:

Thank you so much for advice. In terms of rid of the ex, Yes very much so, it has been a time of extreme stress, the property is a major part of her power over my life. I paid the full mortgage costs until 2017 and then after i contribute towards payments by way of supporting my daughter too. I will definitely use your template. 

I very strongly recommend that you get proper advice befor you send a letter to her. I would not use the template above

The first step is to send a letter but you want it to be a formal letter before action and to ensure that it firs in with all the court rukles, to ensure that you don't limit your opportunities to claim costs from your ex if she doesn't cooperate, or limit the amoint you can claim if things take a whle and the value of the house goes up (or your estimate of the current equity is wrong) 

Don't send her anything until you have spoken with a solicitor.

I am assuming that you were not married to her - if you were married, then things are more complicated especailyl as you have since re--married 

hazyjo

Agree with TBagpuss. Do not send a letter. It needs to be formal, before action, or from a solicitor or you'll just be playing ping-pong with her.

Chat time has stopped. Time to involve the professionals.

Becerrillo

Yes sadly expecting an angry response, she has been really unpleasant for years.We had to install cameras on the house i live in and as i mentioned they knifed my car all down one side. Her partner phoned my boss requesting i be sacked, they stalked me online etc. The police took little interest. Weirdly the CMS said that she didn't need to pay anything for my son as she chooses not to work. 

Maths is definitely not my thing, that's why i needed advice in that area too. I have only just started looking at this problem as it always seemed too big to handle. I do not mind accepting less but would like to have something back at least as i am living wage to wage and in rented accom. 

Upcycling_Queen

Hi I don’t know if this is helpful but my partner and I were in a similar situation. We consulted a solicitor and it would cost around £15k in legal fees to force a sale.

Becerrillo

Not4turning said:

Hi I don’t know if this is helpful but my partner and I were in a similar situation. We consulted a solicitor and it would cost around £15k in legal fees to force a sale.

ah, yes. i wondered if that no win no fee would come into play.

DE_612183

Difficulty is with no win. no fee - what constitutes a win?
If a solicitor sends a letter and it all gets settled - that's a win - how much will they charge? a % of what it means to you?

That could work out at more than 15k - if you you go down the NWNF route - make sure you understand what it will cost if you are successful in your desired outcome.