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13

Comments

  • gwynlas
    gwynlas Posts: 2,372 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper
    Does your mother own her home or is it a social landlord? Either way it appears that your sister is taking advantage of the situation against the interests of your mothers estate and other potential future beneficaries. If her and her husband are living there she should be paying rent, full council tax and all utility bills. Allowing her to continue to bury her head in the sand is not helping anyone other than her and her immediate family. Be careful that she does not coerce you into going along with this continued deceit.
  • Matey123
    Matey123 Posts: 10 Forumite
    Third Anniversary First Post
    elsien said:
    You’re still missing the point slightly. This is about your mum now. Not who pays what after she dies. So if the bank don’t know she’s lost capacity then register the LPA with them yourself. Monitor what is happening with her money. And if it’s not being used in her best interests then you either report your sisters or you become complicit  in their use of her. Maybe telling them that will make them do things properly? 
    I have done all of this in no uncertain terms and they still insist in carrying on regardless.   I have it all in writing too.
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,917 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    Matey123 said:
    elsien said:
    You’re still missing the point slightly. This is about your mum now. Not who pays what after she dies. So if the bank don’t know she’s lost capacity then register the LPA with them yourself. Monitor what is happening with her money. And if it’s not being used in her best interests then you either report your sisters or you become complicit  in their use of her. Maybe telling them that will make them do things properly? 
    I have done all of this in no uncertain terms and they still insist in carrying on regardless.   I have it all in writing too.
    So have you reported them to OPG or are you being complicit?
    Have you registered the LPA with the bank?
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 36,483 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Or raised a formal safeguarding about financial abuse with the local authority?

    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • Matey123
    Matey123 Posts: 10 Forumite
    Third Anniversary First Post
    gwynlas said:
    Does your mother own her home or is it a social landlord? Either way it appears that your sister is taking advantage of the situation against the interests of your mothers estate and other potential future beneficaries. If her and her husband are living there she should be paying rent, full council tax and all utility bills. Allowing her to continue to bury her head in the sand is not helping anyone other than her and her immediate family. Be careful that she does not coerce you into going along with this continued deceit.
    My Mother owns her own home and that is exactly what my sister is doing.  I have told my other sister that I will not contribute financially to any of this debit once my Mums bank account goes into overdraft.  I have also in no uncertain terms stated that this could be legally regarded as my sister and her husband stealing from my Mum!! Still they wont listen to me.  They have told me there is no need to get legal advice or take any other actions to which I have said I beg to differ.  I just want to cover myself legally in all this as I give up trying to explain things properly to both my sisters.  My Mother has lost complete capacity, when I visit her she cant even remember so what does that say. If my sisters continue to bury their head in the sand in all this then I just want to make sure that it is them that suffer the legal consequences should it come to it and I am not as I live on my own and am currently unemployed.  All this has caused me depression and anxiety and I am on medication because of it.  Thank you for your advice.
  • elsien
    elsien Posts: 36,483 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    But if you are also the LPA you are equally responsible in what happens if you sit and do nothing,
    I am sorry about the impact this is having on you, but mum appointed people she thought she could trust to act for her if she needed them to. This may sound blunt, but trying to cover yourself from any ramifications while not taking any other action isn't acting in her best interests. 

    You can register the LPA with the bank and any other organisation. 
    You can inform the DWP that she has gone into a care home, in case that affects anything.
    You can inform all the utility providers that mum is no longer paying the bills.
    You can inform council tax that she's no longer living there.
    You can raise concerns with the OPG
    You can raise a financial safeguarding

    Whether you do that or not is between you and your conscience.
    Who is paying for you mum to be in the care home? 

    All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of things shall be well.

    Pedant alert - it's could have, not could of.
  • Malthusian
    Malthusian Posts: 11,055 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    The other option for the OP is to resign as LPA by sending in an LPA0005 form to the OPG, while at the same time reporting the financial abuse as other posters have suggested.
    Given that the OP is already stressed and anxious and it hasn't even got particularly nasty yet, they seriously need to consider that. If they can't carry out the duties of an attorney there's no shame in admitting it.
    The mother is safe in a care home and it's not her electricity that is in danger of being turned off.
  • Matey123
    Matey123 Posts: 10 Forumite
    Third Anniversary First Post
    elsien said:
    But if you are also the LPA you are equally responsible in what happens if you sit and do nothing,
    I am sorry about the impact this is having on you, but mum appointed people she thought she could trust to act for her if she needed them to. This may sound blunt, but trying to cover yourself from any ramifications while not taking any other action isn't acting in her best interests. 

    You can register the LPA with the bank and any other organisation. 
    You can inform the DWP that she has gone into a care home, in case that affects anything.
    You can inform all the utility providers that mum is no longer paying the bills.
    You can inform council tax that she's no longer living there.
    You can raise concerns with the OPG
    You can raise a financial safeguarding

    Whether you do that or not is between you and your conscience.
    Who is paying for you mum to be in the care home? 

    Yes and that is exactly what I am doing. My Mum has been paying a relative amount for her care as up until recently the Social Services have now deemed her wanting full time care.  We are in the process of sorting out a deferred payment agreement with them which once my Mums house is sold that money will be used. The whole big question is "What justification can my younger sister give for still living in my Mums house"  I have asked that repeatedly of my sisters and have not had an answer so hence thanks to all the advice on here I will be taking that action exactly.
  • Matey123
    Matey123 Posts: 10 Forumite
    Third Anniversary First Post
    Pollycat said:
    Matey123 said:
    elsien said:
    You’re still missing the point slightly. This is about your mum now. Not who pays what after she dies. So if the bank don’t know she’s lost capacity then register the LPA with them yourself. Monitor what is happening with her money. And if it’s not being used in her best interests then you either report your sisters or you become complicit  in their use of her. Maybe telling them that will make them do things properly? 
    I have done all of this in no uncertain terms and they still insist in carrying on regardless.   I have it all in writing too.
    So have you reported them to OPG or are you being complicit?
    Have you registered the LPA with the bank?
    Pollycat said:
    Matey123 said:
    elsien said:
    You’re still missing the point slightly. This is about your mum now. Not who pays what after she dies. So if the bank don’t know she’s lost capacity then register the LPA with them yourself. Monitor what is happening with her money. And if it’s not being used in her best interests then you either report your sisters or you become complicit  in their use of her. Maybe telling them that will make them do things properly? 
    I have done all of this in no uncertain terms and they still insist in carrying on regardless.   I have it all in writing too.
    So have you reported them to OPG or are you being complicit?
    Have you registered the LPA with the bank?
    Pollycat said:
    Matey123 said:
    elsien said:
    You’re still missing the point slightly. This is about your mum now. Not who pays what after she dies. So if the bank don’t know she’s lost capacity then register the LPA with them yourself. Monitor what is happening with her money. And if it’s not being used in her best interests then you either report your sisters or you become complicit  in their use of her. Maybe telling them that will make them do things properly? 
    I have done all of this in no uncertain terms and they still insist in carrying on regardless.   I have it all in writing too.
    So have you reported them to OPG or are you being complicit?
    Have you registered the LPA with the bank?
    Pollycat said:
    Matey123 said:
    elsien said:
    You’re still missing the point slightly. This is about your mum now. Not who pays what after she dies. So if the bank don’t know she’s lost capacity then register the LPA with them yourself. Monitor what is happening with her money. And if it’s not being used in her best interests then you either report your sisters or you become complicit  in their use of her. Maybe telling them that will make them do things properly? 
    I have done all of this in no uncertain terms and they still insist in carrying on regardless.   I have it all in writing too.
    So have you reported them to OPG or are you being complicit?
    Have you registered the LPA with the bank?
    I will be doing that shortly.  The LPA was registered with the OPG quite a few years back now and I immediately registered it with the bank - my sisters chose not to do so until this year and only because of the Deferred Payment agreement having to be filled in.  My older sister has now registered herself with the bank but my younger sister still hasnt despite me sending her an idiot guide on what to do.
  • Keep_pedalling
    Keep_pedalling Posts: 21,493 Forumite
    Tenth Anniversary 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Photogenic
    Matey123 said:
    Pollycat said:
    Matey123 said:
    elsien said:
    You’re still missing the point slightly. This is about your mum now. Not who pays what after she dies. So if the bank don’t know she’s lost capacity then register the LPA with them yourself. Monitor what is happening with her money. And if it’s not being used in her best interests then you either report your sisters or you become complicit  in their use of her. Maybe telling them that will make them do things properly? 
    I have done all of this in no uncertain terms and they still insist in carrying on regardless.   I have it all in writing too.
    So have you reported them to OPG or are you being complicit?
    Have you registered the LPA with the bank?
    Pollycat said:
    Matey123 said:
    elsien said:
    You’re still missing the point slightly. This is about your mum now. Not who pays what after she dies. So if the bank don’t know she’s lost capacity then register the LPA with them yourself. Monitor what is happening with her money. And if it’s not being used in her best interests then you either report your sisters or you become complicit  in their use of her. Maybe telling them that will make them do things properly? 
    I have done all of this in no uncertain terms and they still insist in carrying on regardless.   I have it all in writing too.
    So have you reported them to OPG or are you being complicit?
    Have you registered the LPA with the bank?
    Pollycat said:
    Matey123 said:
    elsien said:
    You’re still missing the point slightly. This is about your mum now. Not who pays what after she dies. So if the bank don’t know she’s lost capacity then register the LPA with them yourself. Monitor what is happening with her money. And if it’s not being used in her best interests then you either report your sisters or you become complicit  in their use of her. Maybe telling them that will make them do things properly? 
    I have done all of this in no uncertain terms and they still insist in carrying on regardless.   I have it all in writing too.
    So have you reported them to OPG or are you being complicit?
    Have you registered the LPA with the bank?
    Pollycat said:
    Matey123 said:
    elsien said:
    You’re still missing the point slightly. This is about your mum now. Not who pays what after she dies. So if the bank don’t know she’s lost capacity then register the LPA with them yourself. Monitor what is happening with her money. And if it’s not being used in her best interests then you either report your sisters or you become complicit  in their use of her. Maybe telling them that will make them do things properly? 
    I have done all of this in no uncertain terms and they still insist in carrying on regardless.   I have it all in writing too.
    So have you reported them to OPG or are you being complicit?
    Have you registered the LPA with the bank?
    I will be doing that shortly.  The LPA was registered with the OPG quite a few years back now and I immediately registered it with the bank - my sisters chose not to do so until this year and only because of the Deferred Payment agreement having to be filled in.  My older sister has now registered herself with the bank but my younger sister still hasnt despite me sending her an idiot guide on what to do.
    Does the LPA allow you to act jointly and severally or jointly only? If the later you have a problem if the former it does not matter if your younger sister dies nothing.
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