What are the estimates now for unit rates and standing charges on the price cap in Oct and Jan?

si_74

wittynamegoeshere said:

Old people can be stubborn and illogical.  Mostly based on resistance to change and negative past experience.  I also suffer from in-laws, thankfully they're still capable of managing their own affairs - just, but I dread this changing.

I'd suggest that a charm offensive is the only weapon you have.  You can't demand they do anything, it's ultimately their choice.  Brochures, trips to showhomes and suggesting the positives are your weapons, rather than pointing out the negatives of staying there.  Also ensure she's aware that you'll do everything possible to help with the process.

I think that's a fair tactic to start with, but it seems that @what_time_is_it is in a situation where she and her husband are going to be using all of their own money and savings to fund the energy bill of the mother in law. That just isn't sustainable unless they are very wealthy. So if the charm offensive doesn't work (and it seems that it hasn't so far) then what do they do?

To be honest I am with ballymoney on this, caring has many different faces and being tough is not easy when it's a loved one....but sometimes it's necessary. 

EssexHebridean

Ballymoney said:

I appreciate you’re in a difficult situation but your reply to all the helpful advice on here across multiple threads is always ‘my MIL is stubborn, we can’t do that’.

There comes a time when you have to just take matters in to your own hands and make the decision for your MIL behind her back. 

Yes, this is a tough stance but if you are about to lose your life savings just to cover her fuel bills then ultimately it’s not up to your MIL whether you make changes or not to her current arrangements. If she doesn’t want to move to a new, cheaper provider…tough, do it for her.

You HAVE to reduce her usage. It sounds like she lives in a house far larger than she needs. Whether she likes it or not, you absolutely have to limit the heating to only the rooms she uses. I think you mentioned a new boiler…hopefully that will be more economical. I’d even be tempted to install a thermostat that can be accessed remotely so you can keep an eye on it (ie. Does it need to be at 21c at 3am).

Good luck with it but ultimately there comes a time when you have to be equally, if not more, stubborn as she is.

I disagree - if the OP's MIL is a consenting adult with all her faculties, there is absolutely NOT a time when they should do that. What there may be is a time when they need to lay the bare figures down in front of her, and then leave her to digest and come up with a plan off the back of that, perhaps. And for what it's worth, if it is MIL's decision to remain in the house, then that is ONLY acceptable if she is not expecting her family to bankrupt themselves to make that happen. 

si_74

EssexHebridean said:

Ballymoney said:

I appreciate you’re in a difficult situation but your reply to all the helpful advice on here across multiple threads is always ‘my MIL is stubborn, we can’t do that’.

There comes a time when you have to just take matters in to your own hands and make the decision for your MIL behind her back. 

Yes, this is a tough stance but if you are about to lose your life savings just to cover her fuel bills then ultimately it’s not up to your MIL whether you make changes or not to her current arrangements. If she doesn’t want to move to a new, cheaper provider…tough, do it for her.

You HAVE to reduce her usage. It sounds like she lives in a house far larger than she needs. Whether she likes it or not, you absolutely have to limit the heating to only the rooms she uses. I think you mentioned a new boiler…hopefully that will be more economical. I’d even be tempted to install a thermostat that can be accessed remotely so you can keep an eye on it (ie. Does it need to be at 21c at 3am).

Good luck with it but ultimately there comes a time when you have to be equally, if not more, stubborn as she is.

I disagree - if the OP's MIL is a consenting adult with all her faculties, there is absolutely NOT a time when they should do that. What there may be is a time when they need to lay the bare figures down in front of her, and then leave her to digest and come up with a plan off the back of that, perhaps. And for what it's worth, if it is MIL's decision to remain in the house, then that is ONLY acceptable if she is not expecting her family to bankrupt themselves to make that happen. 

I think that's the point. From the posts I've seen on this the MIL, whilst perhaps not expecting her family to bankrupt themselves, has no concept of her usage, what it costs, and what it is going to cost once the fixed ends and is not open to discussing options. I can see your point with the highlighted phrase when it is taken out of the context of the other posts. But the fact remains that it seems that the original poster has tried to negotiate, is obviously desperate to do the right things, but the only way for the MIL to stay in the house is for her energy bills to be significantly subsidised by family. This would be absolutely fine if it could be afforded, but I assume from the other messages that it can't be.

So if the MIL will not discuss options, or cannot because they find it too distressing, then what are the family supposed to do?

It is indeed a horrendously difficult situation.

Alnat1

If the MIL has no concept of her usage and refuses to contemplate how it is going to impact her and her family then I would say she does NOT have all her faculties. She is not able to make rational decisions.

michaels

Alnat1 said:

If the MIL has no concept of her usage and refuses to contemplate how it is going to impact her and her family then I would say she does NOT have all her faculties. She is not able to make rational decisions.

My DW and DKs are exactly the same as this

wild666

What I would do if you can get access to the readings for a 12 month period something like September 2021 to the present lay these figures out for her using the predicted increase in October of £3500 and ask if she has enough money and savings to pay the bills monthly with all her other outgoings. 
This could then make her realise that her income is or isn't covering everything and she needs to make cuts to what she has outgoing each month.