Naming a baby

ripplyuk

For any parents here, would you be offended if your child changed their name as an adult? Would it be hurtful? I mean changing it officially by deed poll. 

My comments earlier have made me wonder why I don’t just change my name and I think the reason is that I’m not sure how my mum would react. 

Brie

ripplyuk said:

For any parents here, would you be offended if your child changed their name as an adult? Would it be hurtful? I mean changing it officially by deed poll. 

My comments earlier have made me wonder why I don’t just change my name and I think the reason is that I’m not sure how my mum would react. 

I think people would be less offended if you changed your first name than if you changed your surname.  I know a few people who have changed their name due to transitioning and others who are known as something completely different than what's on their birth certificate.  I've also known 2 guys who have changed their surnames because they hate their fathers.  

And then there's the women who change their surname for the simple stupid reason they have married.  I've never understood why anyone does that anymore.  Women are not property being pass from one family to another.

MovingForwards

@ripplyuk my OH changed all of it when legally able to, which apparently didn't go down to well. His family still call him by his original first name, I try and use a pet / affectionate name round them as I've only ever known the 'new' names.

TBagpuss

GaleSF63 said:

In the latter part of the 19th century my great grandfather went to register my grandmother as Annie. Apparently the registrar said that wasn't a proper name and it had to be Anne. So that's what's on her birth certificate but she was Annie throughout her life. 

She did better than my great grandfather. His father was rather excited about having a son and may perhaps had celebrated a bit too much on his way to register the birth , and when put on the spot and asked for his son's name for entry in the register,  -  couldn't remember what they were supposed to be calling the baby, so took advice from the other people in the queue, and my great-grandfether ended up being named Bernard. He was not supposed to be a bernard, and no one in the family liked the name. He always known to eveyone by his initials (Family history is silent on what precations were taken when his younger siblings were born to prevent a repeat!) 

Another relative more recently happily told eveyone in the family their son's name (very nice) and then proudly announced that he was called after his (deceased) great-grandfather. The only problem was, they gott the name wrong. (correct first initial, totally wrrong name. Think calling him Charles where his ggfathers name was Christopher. (In fairness, GGF died when his own childrne were still minors, so the parent of the new baby had never known him, and presumably thought they knew his name and didn't think to check. As far as I know, no one told them! 

And my sister, who was named after our grandmother, wound up with a slightly different verion of the name. Her name is one which has several variant spellings, and my mother used the one she was most familair with and my dad didn't notice or assumed it was intentional and so didn't correct it. (it's not a big difference, similar to Elinor / Eleanor. ) And happily since my grandmother was a lovely person and in addition, had suffered from a somewhat overbearing mother in law, she was absolutely determined NOT to be that kind of MIL , so it didn't result in any ill feelings. 

elsien

My grandmother ended up with a completely different name to that chosen by her parents when an in-law went to register the birth and made a unilateral decision to change it to something they preferred instead. 

MaryNB

My cousin was given the name Assumpta after a relative of hers. My grandmother (very much the matriarch of the family) sent my dad to his brother's to tell him they couldn't name a baby Assumpta (the only other Assumpta I've come across was an elderly nun). They still did but after a few days they ended up agreeing with my grandmother and she's been referred to by a different name ever since.

A manager of mine unknowingly spelled his own name wrong for 18 years until he got his birth cert to apply for his driving license. 

Being Irish there are numerous Patricks, Marys, and Michaels in my family, and we've long run out of shortened versions and irish language variants. In-laws with one of those first names are known by their full names, bit trickier for those using the family surname. 

elsien said:

My grandmother ended up with a completely different name to that chosen by her parents when an in-law went to register the birth and made a unilateral decision to change it to something they preferred instead. 

Wow. Some nerve of the in-law! 

74jax

ripplyuk said:

For any parents here, would you be offended if your child changed their name as an adult? Would it be hurtful? I mean changing it officially by deed poll. 

My comments earlier have made me wonder why I don’t just change my name and I think the reason is that I’m not sure how my mum would react. 

 @ripplyuk I changed mine, not by dead poll but just on legal documents, mam still called me the name she gave me. She's gone now so I've never been called it in years, and rather strange to have it in my Birth certificate. 

I wouldn't be bothered in the slightest if DD changed her name. 

sheramber

SadieO said:

ripplyuk said:

My parents did the opposite and officially called me the shortened version. I wish they hadn’t. It’s the name on my birth certificate but with everything official, people assume that I’m wrong and my real name must be the longer version. At school, teachers would argue with me that my name isn’t my ‘real’ name. Some would never accept it. 

My friend Jill at primary school had the same issue. I remember a teacher insisting that (a) she'd spelled it wrong and that it should be Gill, (b) that it must be short for Gillian, and that was her real name and (c) that she was being naughty by (trying to) correct a teacher. My poor little 6year old friend was reduced to tears 

had the teacher not learned 'Jack and Jill went up the hill'?

sheramber

onomatopoeia99 said:

Our parents deliberately chose monosyllabic first names for both my brother and me and I'm glad of it as my name can't be foreshortened and usually I don't have to spell it, though occasionally people will ask if I use the French spelling (I don't, and there is absolutely no way my parents would have chosen a non-English spelling) .

I'm not particularly attached to the name, it just is and I'm not motivated to change it.

My brother and his wife chose first names for their children that are alliterative when combined with the surname.  Both children have polysyllabic first names, which are routinely shortened, indeed use of the full first name usually indicates a telling off is about to happen .  

My sister in law gave her kids one syllable names on purpose so thye could not be shortened but people then lengthened them- Jane-Janey,  Lynn-Lyndy.

Look at the Duchess of Cambridge- her name is Catherine which is used by her family but the press immediately started to call her Kate.

SadieO

sheramber said:

SadieO said:

ripplyuk said:

My parents did the opposite and officially called me the shortened version. I wish they hadn’t. It’s the name on my birth certificate but with everything official, people assume that I’m wrong and my real name must be the longer version. At school, teachers would argue with me that my name isn’t my ‘real’ name. Some would never accept it. 

My friend Jill at primary school had the same issue. I remember a teacher insisting that (a) she'd spelled it wrong and that it should be Gill, (b) that it must be short for Gillian, and that was her real name and (c) that she was being naughty by (trying to) correct a teacher. My poor little 6year old friend was reduced to tears 

had the teacher not learned 'Jack and Jill went up the hill'?

Good point, I really want to go back in time and say that to that horrible teacher!

These stories about people accidentally (or intentionally  ) changing names when registering births are making me laugh. My dad's name has two spellings, one very common in England and one signficantly less so. He has the less common spelling which is the way it is spelled in the country of his ancestors. (Along the lines of Joseph/Josef). I always thought my grandad was honouring their ancestors by choosing that spelling, but found out recently that the prevailing thought is that he just spelled it wrong when registering, and it was a total coincidence that it was somewhat appropriate!