NEW HOUSE

seven-day-weekend

I really don't see the point of moving to a smaller house with smaller garden which is less convenient for school and costs a heap more.

Is there any particular reason your wife wants to move?  Or is she one of these people who just moves every so often for no apparent reason (I know people like this).

jonnydeppiwish!

Have you had a frank sit down discussion with her, showing the money side of things?
Add in to it that she’d have to look at earning more to make it comfortable for you to be able to move.
Is she looking at a new location, better schools for the kids?
Is there better transport so when they are old enough, the kids can get themselves out and about?
Is it just the grass is greener somewhere else? Maybe she’s never liked where you live now?

Stevensuperbike

I really don’t mind staying where we are.. we purchased our house in 2015 for £113k and now worth £236k. It was a fixer-up-er so we have done just that. 

I doubt the space a new build can provide us. Yes it’s new brick and mortar but it’s a massive price tag. The deposit I have from selling is only 50% of the new house value and by no means bigger.. it is only bigger upstairs with 4 bedrooms and en-suite but that’s it. 

Stevensuperbike

seven-day-weekend said:

I really don't see the point of moving to a smaller house with smaller garden which is less convenient for school and costs a heap more.

Is there any particular reason your wife wants to move?  Or is she one of these people who just moves every so often for no apparent reason (I know people like this).

My wife doesn't really appreciate the value of money, she has some friends who some are retired and splash out like crazy and some who are just not on this planet. (Ie friend who still lives at home with mum and dad at 35yrs old who pays over £450per month on a brand new Audi TT! However can she afford it earning min wage at a local supermarket I don’t know). I don’t want my wife feeling she has this false sense of entitlement like some of her friends. Material things like that come at a cost of hard work and saving but sometimes feels like this is a achievable things for us to move but I’m just not finding the logic of it doing the numbers and the potential risk for the kids.  

Ramouth

Perhaps you could compromise and suggest looking at buying one of these house she likes in a couple of years when they start being resold?  I think this would help to make the properties easier to compare as neither would be new and might also help with the price difference a little.  Not many people stay in a new build for only a couple of years but some do so I’m sure something would come up eventually.

Bendy_House

Stevensuperbike said:

(Ie friend who still lives at home with mum and dad at 35yrs old who pays over £450per month on a brand new Audi TT! However can she afford it earning min wage at a local supermarket I don’t know).

By living with her parents?

I think you have a problem, Steven. This move would not appear to make any logical or rational sense at all, so is most likely a purely emotive issue, quite possibly just the 'appeal' of a new house? What you say about some of your wife's friends rings further warning bells

When you factor in that this place could be worse positioned for schools, well... 

I suspect that this is not going to be a 'let's sit down and discuss this until THE sensible decision is arrived at', so perhaps it's worth being 'armed' with some suitable alternative ideas?

YOU have converted your garage, built a loo, fitted out a kitchen-diner? Cool, so you are a handypeep. Frankly, anyone who doesn't take advantage of these skills is a bit nuts imo

Perhaps have a good look in a suitable radius for detached houses with 'potential', eg with a large garden as you have now. See what COULD be done with them. If nothing exists at the mo', then wait. Also look for ditto in NOT quite suitable areas, just so you can show what CAN be done.

Is there a way to upgrade these 'potentials' to tailor them more to your needs, but without paying the crazy premium of a brand new house?

I wish it could be as easy as that - common sense would make the decision for you both - but I fear it won't. It's one way of trying, tho'.

IF you were to make the move into this new house, honestly, what will the decision feel like in a year's time? Or two? I can only suspect - based on what you have said - that the smaller (and more boxy?) rooms will begin to grate, the added (or future) additional commute for your kids to get to school will become stressful, and the 'novelty' of the newness will have largely dissipated, after all your friends have been to view... (Forgive me if that last bit is unfair)

I think you have a problem, pal.

If you present perfectly reasonable alternatives, but they are dismissed as 'not new', then that's likely your issue. I can only suggest asking - repeating - 'WHY does it need to be new?' There is usually no rational argument for 'new', per se, but a strong emotive one - for some.

Woolsery

Stevensuperbike said:

 we purchased our house in 2015 for £113k and now worth £236k. It was a fixer-up-er so we have done just that.

There are people who take on a project, but their ultimate goal lies elsewhere. It sounds like your wife may have a reward in the back of her mind for all the planning and hard work she's gone through on the current property, with being detached as the major part of it. She now knows about the graft in bringing a tired property up to date and probably wants to skip that if she can, even if floor area or garden space have to suffer. There will be other things that compensate, like not needing to strip wallpaper or fathom out plumbing at the weekends, so there will be more room for a perceived 'better life.'

Having first hand experience of this sort of thing, I have some sympathy for your wife, especially if the fixing-up has dragged on a bit. Some of the happiest times in my marriage were when we lived in a rented house, couldn't follow our usual  business interests and had more days out, simply enjoying ourselves.That period passed when we took on another project, of course!

So, although I'm not the one to tell you how to handle this perpetual search for the good life, as someone with a finger on the pulse of world affairs and economics I'd caution against over-extending yourselves at a time of such heightened uncertainty. The 2008 crash brought my wife and I to an understanding that the next house and lifestyle should be recession-friendly, so that's what we have. Everything's paid-for and we're out of the city with a strong community and alternatives for food and fuel should the worst happen. You can't put a price on that, although Covid and WFH certainly pushed it up here, big time!

Your wife should try to read the runes. Nothing's been 'normal' for 2.5 years and there seems no end in sight, with social unrest , much of it under-reported, springing up even in relatively developed nations that have printed too much £, taken on too much debt and/or followed questionable policies. When places like Canada and the Netherlands experience major public protest it can only be a matter of time before that comes here too, in spades. Then, a not paid-for shiny kitchen or Audi TT will show its true value.

How secure are your jobs?

Twixty3

To go from having £1,400 spare to £350 might affect other things you wish to do like going on holidays for example. 

It just doesn’t seem to be a good time to increase your costs so hugely. 

However if a house price crash doesn’t materialise and the cost of living reduces again along with pay rises each year and possibly your wife working full time when the kids are older then at some point it will become more affordable. 

p00hsticks

Stevensuperbike said:

I’ve tried to consider my wife working more hours say … more to earn another £500 per month to cover the interest but this went down like a sack of lead spuds  

How old are the kids and how many ?

I think that may limit the amount of extra hours she could do, unless you're prepared to fork out for childcare, which would rather defeat the object of bringing in more money....

SusieT

Why not talk to your wife tell her that you have taken take into consideration the current inflation and interest rates, plus the chance of a recession (I am sure google will have plenty to say about that) and suggest that you wait until the kids are finished school, and the world has settled down before moving. That way you are not saying no forever, but are saying hold on for now? 
You can also tell her that if you did move, there would be no holidays or whatever activities she enjoys doing until the mortgage returns to the current level. That may shift her mind a bit!