Ex making demands

Teadrinker27

My ex and I broke up 1 month ago. We had been together for 3 1/2 years, living together since last summer, private renting, no kids, not married or engaged. He lost his job in January due to theft from his employer. I have a whole other list of reasons that have since come to light that justify my choice to move out and leave him but my question today is about gifts given to me by him during happier times. 

He bought me a laptop for my birthday gift last year. I didn't ask for it or expect it but he took out a credit agreement and got it anyway. During the days I was packing and moving out he removed it from my boxes several times and returned it again before finally on the day I left, gave it back and said he wanted me to have it. My question is am I liable to return this to him?

He is insisting I return it or he will come to my new home and take it. I have had to block him through social media and on my phone because of the volume of messages and calls he was making but he is still reaching me through his family who are stuck in the middle. 

 I gave him almost £3000 when I left which was the remainder of our joint savings and my final wage before leaving to cover his rent and bills (I was a permitted resident on the tenancy agreement and the lease was in his name, we are not connected financially) He has borrowed more from his parents who have now cut him off. He has a new well paying job that starts in the next couple of weeks. 

I know it's just a laptop but he has manipulated me and continues to play on my fears and emotions I don't know what to do. I think this is just another way he is trying to control me. Interestingly he has made no mention of any jewellery he bought me during our relationship. I presume that this is because it has little value. Do I legally have to return any gifts to him? Does it make a difference that it was bought on a credit agreement in his name? 
I would appreciate any advice.

pinkshoes

Legally vs morally...

He gifted it to you so you don't have to give it back.

He sounds like a bit of a weirdo, so personally I would just give him the laptop back if he wants it that badly and move on with your life. It's just a laptop and by giving it back then any last tie with him is severed. 

Brie

Give it back to him just to shut him up.  Have a witness (or film it) so you have proof that it has been given back and make sure he says he won't contact you again about anything.  If he does then do something further you can warn the police that you are being stalked and he will hopefully learn to back off.

Stenwold

Sounds like it's less hassle and easier to have a clean break if you give it back. However, I'd make sure to completely wipe it first - don't leave any details on it like saved passwords/card transaction details etc.

Also seems a bit suspicious that once he knew you were leaving, he took the laptop from you and then gave it back - would he have had the chance to install any spyware or key stroke log without you realising?

DE_612183

sounds like me the laptop is an excuse to remain in contact - I'd give it back ( but make sure you wipe it so there is no personal info on there - passwords etc )

Scorpio33

If its on finance, legally it belongs to the finance company until the finance is paid in full or it is given back to them.

Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I think he wanted to give it to you, then realised he can't afford the finance on it, so now wants to hand it back rather than pay the finance on it.

But morally, you've given him £3k which you didn't need too, so you must question why he wants this back.


Like others, I would wipe the computer and then hand it back. Its more hassle than its worth to try and keep it.

Threebabes

Hi, definitely give him it back. He sounds like a nightmare that you are well shot of.

yvonne13_2

Teadrinker27 said:

My ex and I broke up 1 month ago. We had been together for 3 1/2 years, living together since last summer, private renting, no kids, not married or engaged. He lost his job in January due to theft from his employer. I have a whole other list of reasons that have since come to light that justify my choice to move out and leave him but my question today is about gifts given to me by him during happier times. 

He bought me a laptop for my birthday gift last year. I didn't ask for it or expect it but he took out a credit agreement and got it anyway. During the days I was packing and moving out he removed it from my boxes several times and returned it again before finally on the day I left, gave it back and said he wanted me to have it. My question is am I liable to return this to him?

He is insisting I return it or he will come to my new home and take it. I have had to block him through social media and on my phone because of the volume of messages and calls he was making but he is still reaching me through his family who are stuck in the middle. 

 I gave him almost £3000 when I left which was the remainder of our joint savings and my final wage before leaving to cover his rent and bills (I was a permitted resident on the tenancy agreement and the lease was in his name, we are not connected financially) He has borrowed more from his parents who have now cut him off. He has a new well paying job that starts in the next couple of weeks. 

I know it's just a laptop but he has manipulated me and continues to play on my fears and emotions I don't know what to do. I think this is just another way he is trying to control me. Interestingly he has made no mention of any jewellery he bought me during our relationship. I presume that this is because it has little value. Do I legally have to return any gifts to him? Does it make a difference that it was bought on a credit agreement in his name? 
I would appreciate any advice.

A gift is a gift, but due to his track record I think it best you give him back the laptop. If you still have it in your posession get it wiped and hand it back with a witness present.

As you advised he is still paying for it via credit agreement its actually not yours until paid in full.

What was the theft from his ex employer and why was he sacked for it?

Mr.Generous

I agree. probably give it back unless I'd spent similar cash on his birthday gift. Who it belongs to depends on the agreement, most credit agreements lend money rather than hire-purchase where the item remains the finance companies goods until fully paid. If it's a usual credit agreement you agree to repay a sum over a period of time, they don't want the laptop back in any circumstances, they want the sum agreed.

tightauldgit

Legally, it's a gift and it's yours. But on the other hand for the sake of a laptop it sounds like it's probably a hell of a lot easier to arrrange to return it and be well shot of him. Then block his number so he cant hassle you any more.

Teadrinker27

Thank you all for your replies. I have arranged to give it back via his parents. I don't want to see him again. 

If he had lost his job solely due to theft I would have left in January but there are surrounding issues of alcohol addiction. I stayed to support him through recovery but it became apparent that he is nowhere near the point of wanting the help. He's not drinking as much as he was which meant he could get this new job but I can't forgive the things he has done to me in the last 6 months and the things I learnt he had done behind my back prior to January. I had no option but to leave. 

Thank you all for taking the time to reply. xx