Ex making demands
Teadrinker27
Forumite 2 Posts
My ex and I broke up 1 month ago. We had been together for 3 1/2 years, living together since last summer, private renting, no kids, not married or engaged. He lost his job in January due to theft from his employer. I have a whole other list of reasons that have since come to light that justify my choice to move out and leave him but my question today is about gifts given to me by him during happier times.
He bought me a laptop for my birthday gift last year. I didn't ask for it or expect it but he took out a credit agreement and got it anyway. During the days I was packing and moving out he removed it from my boxes several times and returned it again before finally on the day I left, gave it back and said he wanted me to have it. My question is am I liable to return this to him?
He is insisting I return it or he will come to my new home and take it. I have had to block him through social media and on my phone because of the volume of messages and calls he was making but he is still reaching me through his family who are stuck in the middle.
I gave him almost £3000 when I left which was the remainder of our joint savings and my final wage before leaving to cover his rent and bills (I was a permitted resident on the tenancy agreement and the lease was in his name, we are not connected financially) He has borrowed more from his parents who have now cut him off. He has a new well paying job that starts in the next couple of weeks.
I know it's just a laptop but he has manipulated me and continues to play on my fears and emotions I don't know what to do. I think this is just another way he is trying to control me. Interestingly he has made no mention of any jewellery he bought me during our relationship. I presume that this is because it has little value. Do I legally have to return any gifts to him? Does it make a difference that it was bought on a credit agreement in his name?
I would appreciate any advice.
He bought me a laptop for my birthday gift last year. I didn't ask for it or expect it but he took out a credit agreement and got it anyway. During the days I was packing and moving out he removed it from my boxes several times and returned it again before finally on the day I left, gave it back and said he wanted me to have it. My question is am I liable to return this to him?
He is insisting I return it or he will come to my new home and take it. I have had to block him through social media and on my phone because of the volume of messages and calls he was making but he is still reaching me through his family who are stuck in the middle.
I gave him almost £3000 when I left which was the remainder of our joint savings and my final wage before leaving to cover his rent and bills (I was a permitted resident on the tenancy agreement and the lease was in his name, we are not connected financially) He has borrowed more from his parents who have now cut him off. He has a new well paying job that starts in the next couple of weeks.
I know it's just a laptop but he has manipulated me and continues to play on my fears and emotions I don't know what to do. I think this is just another way he is trying to control me. Interestingly he has made no mention of any jewellery he bought me during our relationship. I presume that this is because it has little value. Do I legally have to return any gifts to him? Does it make a difference that it was bought on a credit agreement in his name?
I would appreciate any advice.
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Replies
He gifted it to you so you don't have to give it back.
He sounds like a bit of a weirdo, so personally I would just give him the laptop back if he wants it that badly and move on with your life. It's just a laptop and by giving it back then any last tie with him is severed.
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
2023 £1 a day £54.26/365
Also seems a bit suspicious that once he knew you were leaving, he took the laptop from you and then gave it back - would he have had the chance to install any spyware or key stroke log without you realising?
Giving him the benefit of the doubt, I think he wanted to give it to you, then realised he can't afford the finance on it, so now wants to hand it back rather than pay the finance on it.
But morally, you've given him £3k which you didn't need too, so you must question why he wants this back.
Like others, I would wipe the computer and then hand it back. Its more hassle than its worth to try and keep it.
If he had lost his job solely due to theft I would have left in January but there are surrounding issues of alcohol addiction. I stayed to support him through recovery but it became apparent that he is nowhere near the point of wanting the help. He's not drinking as much as he was which meant he could get this new job but I can't forgive the things he has done to me in the last 6 months and the things I learnt he had done behind my back prior to January. I had no option but to leave.
Thank you all for taking the time to reply. xx