Disabled adult son - access to PiP

in Disability money matters
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roadwearyroadweary Forumite
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Hi,

In September my 19 year old son start full time residential college.  He has severe special needs.  Until now his mother has been the parent with care.  I have regular contact, approximately 2 nights per week plus holidays.

As of September, he will have 38 weeks of the year at college including weekends.  His care outside of this will be split 50/50 with his 14 weeks of holidays being split between his mother any myself.  This will be documented by his social worker.

He receives PiP.  When he stays with me, and I provide everything for him; clothes, groceries, meals out, transport, activities...and even with his annual holiday with us, it is reasonable that his PiP would help contribute to that.  The issue is that his mother will not entertain anything other than 100% control of his finances.  She claims that only one person can be in receipt of his monies on his behalf.

We do not have a good relationship and I do not want to have to ask for / justify money I need access to for the above.

In fact, I cannot wait for the opportunity to have a direct relationship with and access to my son without her interference.

Does anyone have experience of how to aportion his benefits 50/50?

If we had a reasonable relationship, I would simply ask her to transfer half his monies by standing order to an account that I maintained for him.  And would happily give her monthly statements.

However, that is not going to happen.

Any suggestions?  Is there any legal remedy?

Thanks,
R
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Replies

  • toomuchinfotoomuchinfo Forumite
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    If your ex is your sons appointee for benefits then it is true that only one person can be in receipt of the money, it can’t even go into a joint account. The appointee has the responsibility to use the money on his behalf. Your only choice is to ask her to transfer some money to you to use when he is staying with you.
  • 4372243722 Forumite
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    Regardless of the state of your relationship with his mother, your thinking is fair and reasonable in regards to meeting the needs of the young man. I think i would put your suggestion to your ex, trying to broach the subject in a neutral fashion. Good Luck.
  • poppy12345poppy12345 Forumite
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    If the fees for the college are funded from public funds then his PIP daily living will stop after 28 days. When he's not at college his mother needs to report the changes to PIP and his payments will start back up again. If there's less than 28 days between going home and returning to college then the payments will stop once he returns to college. More info here. https://contact.org.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/03/Benefits-if-your-child-is-in-residential-accommodation.pdf
    With regards to who has the payments then you'll need to speak to his mother and remind her that the money is for your son, not for her to spend as she wishes. Therefore she should give money to her son when he stays with you.
    This is the problem when someone has an appointee, DWP do not check what happens to the money.


  • AlbermarleAlbermarle Forumite
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    Just to complete the picture, does your son receive any other benefits, or use any services that are not paid directly from public funding to the provider ? If so does the Mother handle these as well ?
  • AlbermarleAlbermarle Forumite
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    This is the problem when someone has an appointee, DWP do not check what happens to the money.

    I have no experience of this, but an appointee can be challenged/changed apparently.

    Can an appointeeship be cancelled? | Appointeeship | FAQs | The Money Carer Foundation

    Probably would be pretty messy and might worsen relations further though.

    On the other hand just the threat of it may make her more flexible about the payments.

  • roadwearyroadweary Forumite
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    Hi,

    I'm working through his social worker and FAB (finance and benefits) to understand what he receives / will receive.  Luckily his social worker has agreed to chase this through, although she's had no luck for a few weeks so far; I explained to her that if I try to speak with anyone, as soon as they establish that I am not the PWC they simply won't speak with me. 

    I believe he receives the mobility and daily living elements of PiP.  I believe he will still receive some PiP once he goes into residential care as he has the right to money to socialise / pay for an ice cream etc.  The feeling I got from the college and his social worker is that he will still have some benefit but it will of course reduce to reflect the residential care he will receive as funded by the Local Authority.

    I'm hoping to negotiate what access to funds I get when he stays with me, but via the LA / professionals.  My health won't stand up to any more acrimony, I'd rather be out of pocket and stay sane / healthy.

    But I will share appropriate information as things develop over the next few weeks.

    Thanks,
    R
  • edited 2 July at 8:34PM
    poppy12345poppy12345 Forumite
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    edited 2 July at 8:34PM
    PIP daily living will definitely stop after 28 days because the college is funded by his local Authority. Whether the mobility stops will totally depend on what residential college it is.
  • edited 2 July at 8:40PM
    roadwearyroadweary Forumite
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    edited 2 July at 8:40PM
    PIP daily living will definitely stop after 28 days because the college is funded by his local Authority. Whether the mobility stops will totally depend on what residential college it is.
    He has the full 6 week holiday every summer when he won't be in college.  Do you know if he will immediately be entitled to his PiP once more during that time.....or will he have to wait until he's been home for a certain amount of time do you know?

    And then again, assuming he gets his full PiP resurrected at some point during the summer holiday, will it stop immediately he goes back to college, or after 28 days?

    *EDIT* sorry, strike that, just read the pdf link you attached (thank you)....again, she'll claim it in arrears, and most likely keep it all.

    Thanks,
    R
  • edited 3 July at 9:00AM
    poppy12345poppy12345 Forumite
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    edited 3 July at 9:00AM
    roadweary said:
    PIP daily living will definitely stop after 28 days because the college is funded by his local Authority. Whether the mobility stops will totally depend on what residential college it is.
    she'll claim it in arrears,

    Not sure what you mean by that. When he returns home she needs to contact PIP and his money will start back up again from the day he comes home, there will be no arrears owed at that point. If he's home for longer than 28 days then when he returns to college there will be another 28 days before it stops.
    If you think there's financial abuse going on because she's not giving him his money then you can report her to DWP.
  • ErimgorfErimgorf Forumite
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    There's a form to fill in to report the dates they are home and the care component is paid for the days they are at home. It's good you are working with social care re sorting the money out.
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