Disabled adult son - access to PiP

108 Posts

Hi,
In September my 19 year old son start full time residential college. He has severe special needs. Until now his mother has been the parent with care. I have regular contact, approximately 2 nights per week plus holidays.
As of September, he will have 38 weeks of the year at college including weekends. His care outside of this will be split 50/50 with his 14 weeks of holidays being split between his mother any myself. This will be documented by his social worker.
He receives PiP. When he stays with me, and I provide everything for him; clothes, groceries, meals out, transport, activities...and even with his annual holiday with us, it is reasonable that his PiP would help contribute to that. The issue is that his mother will not entertain anything other than 100% control of his finances. She claims that only one person can be in receipt of his monies on his behalf.
We do not have a good relationship and I do not want to have to ask for / justify money I need access to for the above.
In fact, I cannot wait for the opportunity to have a direct relationship with and access to my son without her interference.
Does anyone have experience of how to aportion his benefits 50/50?
If we had a reasonable relationship, I would simply ask her to transfer half his monies by standing order to an account that I maintained for him. And would happily give her monthly statements.
However, that is not going to happen.
Any suggestions? Is there any legal remedy?
Thanks,
R
In September my 19 year old son start full time residential college. He has severe special needs. Until now his mother has been the parent with care. I have regular contact, approximately 2 nights per week plus holidays.
As of September, he will have 38 weeks of the year at college including weekends. His care outside of this will be split 50/50 with his 14 weeks of holidays being split between his mother any myself. This will be documented by his social worker.
He receives PiP. When he stays with me, and I provide everything for him; clothes, groceries, meals out, transport, activities...and even with his annual holiday with us, it is reasonable that his PiP would help contribute to that. The issue is that his mother will not entertain anything other than 100% control of his finances. She claims that only one person can be in receipt of his monies on his behalf.
We do not have a good relationship and I do not want to have to ask for / justify money I need access to for the above.
In fact, I cannot wait for the opportunity to have a direct relationship with and access to my son without her interference.
Does anyone have experience of how to aportion his benefits 50/50?
If we had a reasonable relationship, I would simply ask her to transfer half his monies by standing order to an account that I maintained for him. And would happily give her monthly statements.
However, that is not going to happen.
Any suggestions? Is there any legal remedy?
Thanks,
R
0
Latest MSE News and Guides
Replies
I have no experience of this, but an appointee can be challenged/changed apparently.
Can an appointeeship be cancelled? | Appointeeship | FAQs | The Money Carer Foundation
Probably would be pretty messy and might worsen relations further though.
On the other hand just the threat of it may make her more flexible about the payments.
I'm working through his social worker and FAB (finance and benefits) to understand what he receives / will receive. Luckily his social worker has agreed to chase this through, although she's had no luck for a few weeks so far; I explained to her that if I try to speak with anyone, as soon as they establish that I am not the PWC they simply won't speak with me.
I believe he receives the mobility and daily living elements of PiP. I believe he will still receive some PiP once he goes into residential care as he has the right to money to socialise / pay for an ice cream etc. The feeling I got from the college and his social worker is that he will still have some benefit but it will of course reduce to reflect the residential care he will receive as funded by the Local Authority.
I'm hoping to negotiate what access to funds I get when he stays with me, but via the LA / professionals. My health won't stand up to any more acrimony, I'd rather be out of pocket and stay sane / healthy.
But I will share appropriate information as things develop over the next few weeks.
Thanks,
R
And then again, assuming he gets his full PiP resurrected at some point during the summer holiday, will it stop immediately he goes back to college, or after 28 days?
*EDIT* sorry, strike that, just read the pdf link you attached (thank you)....again, she'll claim it in arrears, and most likely keep it all.
Thanks,
R