18 months later - help!

Winston2019

I am in such a pickle of entirely my own doing. 

Myself & my boyfriend moved in with his parents at the start of the pandemic - one so we could all be together throughout the craziness but two so we could save for our first house. 18 months later and we’ve foolishly saved then spent, saved then spent. We had an idea that we’re get a mortgage in principle in Aug of this year but realistically i’ll save £5k by then and him £8k with shares which isn’t enough - we need at least £18k so I need to sell some stuff/work extra shifts where I can. 

I have such an instant gratification habit with buying that genuinely makes me feel so ill with guilt afterwards but I just can’t seem to break the habit. Does anyone have any tips on how to put money away without having access to it or ways to avoid buying? I don’t have a savings account and am unsure if opening one now would be much use but I really want to save as much as I can in the next few months. I appreciate i’ve been an idiot but I just want us to be in our own place as soon as possible!

MovingForwards

Leave all cards at home and only take a bit of cash out.

Open up a savings account with a different bank and treat the savings as another bill to pay each month. Transfer the money over on payday.

Avoid the shops you overspend and stick with food shopping only.

Calculate how many hours you have to work to pay for something.

Learn the difference between 'want' and 'need'.
- You want a new dress, but have five different ones in the wardrobe.
- You need new tights as you've just laddered your last pair.

Read some of the diaries in this section, from the start, and see what others do.

Your goal is to buy a home, unfortunately it also takes a lot of willpower not to spend, but save instead.

Don't forget to budget for legal costs and whatever you need (second hand for most items) for your home.

Consider turning this thread into a diary, become accountable to yourself by airing what you do, where you spend, how much you spend and what you've managed to save.

comeandgo

Could you give the money to your boyfriends mother to put into a bank account for you both?  Just have in your head that everytime you spend money you are putting your moving date further and further away, you will have to spend another few years with his parents.

Winston2019

comeandgo said:

Could you give the money to your boyfriends mother to put into a bank account for you both?  Just have in your head that everytime you spend money you are putting your moving date further and further away, you will have to spend another few years with his parents.

I think that’s the mindset shift I need - thank you!!

atrixa

Best of luck to you For me, meticulous tracking of everything I spend and having goals is really important. You have the goal, you just need to see how you're progressing and keep accountability. You could consider a savings account that would lock away the money until you're ready to use it.

CoastingHatbox

atrixa said:

Best of luck to you For me, meticulous tracking of everything I spend and having goals is really important. You have the goal, you just need to see how you're progressing and keep accountability. You could consider a savings account that would lock away the money until you're ready to use it.

Same here.

I keep a spreadsheet, tab for each year and column for every month. Row by row I include what I spend and what I save. Bottom row sums up what will be left at the end of the month. Right most column sums up totals for expenditure and saving.

I always have the next years tab setup.

This means, if I'm thinking about buying something, I can add it to the spreadsheet and see what effect it has. I can see whether it will stop me reaching whatever goal/target I've set myself. If it doesn't, I can go ahead and buy it. If it does, do I really need it? Can I sell something? Can I get rid of some other expenditure?

I started doing this when I finished my IVA because I didn't want to get back into the same situation again. And now I'm earning more than I ever thought I would, it stops me getting into the mindset of thinking I can afford things. So now, rather than stopping me from getting into debt, it's helping me focus on how much I can save towards long term goals, namely retiring comfortably.

It's a really useful tool, but it does mean being very disciplined to make it work.

savingwannabe

Hello stay strong. I was the same now i am trying really hard to be minimal and only buy what i need. Keeping a spending diary is so useful, I had no idea how i was frittering away all my money on little things as i didnt note down when i spent it. Try to do that every night (keep receipts). Also take sandwiches to work as buying food and giving work money is crackers as i learned to my cost. Look also at the savings section on here find an account that pays higher interest. You can do this, good luck.