Divorce process and steps

xyz123

Hi, asking on behalf of a friend.

She is married with 2 kids with husband of 15 years. Husband wants a divorce because he's not happy. She doesn't want to divorce for sake of trying to save marriage and kids. Relationship is not toxic at all and they are living in the same house looking after kids.

Husband has said he intends to file for divorce soon. I wanted to find out what is the process and steps. I read that she will be notified by email/letter and needs to acknowledge the application even if she doesn't agree. But what happens after that... Is there a guide on what will happen next and in particular with regards to kids custody and financial arrangements e.g. Split 50/50 or another way... Is there any "mediators" or just lawyers do the thing. 

Sorry if too many questions but just looking for some pointers.. If any more info is needed pls let me know and I can try and find out..

Thanks 

MovingForwards

Have a look on wikivorce as that's a dedicated place for relationship breakdowns and they have step by step guides / info. Many of us have popped over for support.

Markneath

Try and keep it amicable, try and compromise and agree things amongst themselves. 

Once solicitors are dealing with everything it becomes a war and very expensive.

TBagpuss

The divorce takes a minimu of 6 months so there is time to reconclie if he were to change his minfd.
 However, she may find it helpful to bear in mind that 'staying together for the childnre' very rarely benefits the children, it just leaves them in a stressful situation and teaches them by example than it's normal to be unhappy in a relatinship! 

In terms of arrangements for the childnre, the focus is on what is in the childnre's best interets - if the paretns can agree between themselves, either directly or with the support of solicitors mediators or other third parties, that's ideal. If they can't ultimately a courtwill deide what's in their best interests. There's no presumaptin of 50/50 sghared care as most people don't have lives and work committments which makes that the best option.

Finances - the aim is to be fairto both partnes, taking into account all the relevant factors - the starting point is generally an equal split but it is fairly unusual for the end point to be 50/50, as that's only likley to be fair f eveything else is also equal - e.g. if the parties have the same earining, the same level of responsibility for child care, same mortgagecapacity etc.

In real life, often the lower earner (who will often be the one who has been the main carer for the childnre, taken time out to care for babies/small childnre and lost out on career development as a result, etc) will often endup with a bigger share of the available capital as their needs are greater and they have less capacity to mkae up the difference. 

She should defintely see a solicitor. A good solicitor will encourage her to negotaate and try to reach an appropriate and fair outcome, but will also be able to give her advice to ensure that she is not ripped off - https://resolution.org.uk/ is a good place to start - solicitors who are members f Resolution signup to a code of coduct and will try to reach an amicable settlement rather than turning things into a war.