I feel stuck in my job

Northwestguy_2

Not sure how to move forward. I've found myself somewhere I never wanted to be i.e. stuck in a job I don't enjoy but the salary and conditions are good. I don't think I could match them if I changed jobs, certainly not for a good few years.

I'm 43 and changed career about 7 years ago from an industry I loved. Sadly opportunities in that industry are practically non existent and would involve relocation and not be paid as well. My partner is settled in a very good job so would be reluctant to move.

I'm aware that people have it a lot worse and this may seem to some a first world problem. I can't remember the last time I genuinely felt passionate about going to work in the morning. This job does have its moments but that's it.

How many people reading this have taken that leap of faith and changed jobs to something with a much lower salary but more enjoyment.

kimwp

What don't you like about your job? Can you tweak it so you do enjoy it?

Alanp

I have done this albeit under slightly different circumstances, I did my last job for thirty years and, for the most part, enjoyed it, we were taken over by a company that had a poor reputation in the industry I was in, which turned out to be justified, in my case I was able to access some of my pension which allowed me to find a lesser paid , but more suitable ( to me) job, it made me realise if you really want to change, then you can , but, you have to be proactive to look around and go for it, I just needed the kick up the backside to do something, it’s easy to just plod along and complain.

TELLIT01

It's not easy to motivate youself to move on when you are in a well paid job, even if you aren't enjoying it.  I know I stayed put on more than one occasion for that very reason.  Some of my decisions to move on were made for me due to companies closing, or I used the opportunity of VR to give me a financial buffer and move on.

It as much as case of deciding what salary you can comfortably cope with as a first step and then taking it from there.  No poin moving to a job you might enjoy if you are only scraping by all the time.

TBagpuss

I think the idea that you should be pasionae about your job can be a very unhealthy one. Lots of people are not - obviously if the job actively makes you miserable then it's sensible to try to move but if it's just 'OK' then it may be better to try ot focus on the positives (including the pay, and what that can achieve for you) rather than looking for the perect match.

Some things to consider:
- Would it be psossible to look to change your specific responsibilities / focus so you have more of the elements of the job that you like / find interesting, and fewer of the parts you dislike, while remainin in the same industry? Obviosuly this will vary a lot from job to job, but working for a smaller employre can mean that youget more variaety and more opportunities to be independent and to expand into related areas of expertise, working in a larger organisation may mean more opportunities for promtion, formal training or condultancy work.
- there may be options to move towards more managment,less of a jands-on role, or vice versa
- you can think about whether there are linked roles / ifudtries where your experience would be valuable (for isntnace, in the types of  businesses that your current employer buys from or sells to, looking at roles in education or training for people in yur field etc. 

The issues with pay are something which you would need to think hard about and to discuiss with your partner. If you wouldn't wan to relocate as a family, is there ay scope for you to switchbut look for hydrid roles, or compressed hours that would let you work away for (say) 4 days a week and return home for the other 3, and if so, would that be an option for you and your partner? 

You could also thinkabout what it was you loved about your previous roles (and how much of that may have been due to being younger, and to things being newer !)  re there other, less scares types of work where you might be able to find some of those same afvantages.

I think chaning where the change means less money and a reloation and your partner having to potentaially give up their home and job and end up with something less satisfactory to them is a huge ask, but if you were only asking for one f those thinbgs - e.g. if you wanteded to re-train or switch jobs so that the family has less money and thre is more pressure on your partner as the main earner, but you can fo it without them having to give uup their job or home, then it's worth looking at comprmises.

Another possibility might be to try to afjust your work life balance. IF you were able to reduce your hours so youcould spend some time doing voluntry work . pursuing hobbies / doing things that you are passionate about, would that make it more manageable for you to continue on your dull but useful job?

Ultimately you can chnge careers, but you can't, generally changeAND keep all the same benefits , so you (and your partner) would need to consider whether the benefits are worth it . It's tricky, not least as it sounds as tough the benefits are mostly the non-tangibles one of your being happier, and the downsides are mostly pretty tangible and affect other s including yourself, so it is definitely one to agree on as a couple. 

SensibleSarah

I can empathise OP! I'm also 43.
I found myself really hating my job/industry after nearly 15 years in various roles in the same sector but as a single-income household, taking a big cut in earnings just wasn't possible. However, it also meant that I only really had to worry about myself in my decisions, unlike the OP.

I spent a long time whilst working from home during the pandemic trying to work out what I didn't like about what I did for a living, and it turned out that most of the issue was related to work environment, the 'expected' career progression/path pressure and hustle culture rather than the actual day to day work that I hated. I knew from experience that changing employers wasn't really a fix - as the things I didn't like are present industry-wide with every role I've ever had.

Based on this, I took a risk and quit my job this time last year (with no savings or back up plan, but sometimes you've just got to jump), then went freelance in the same field. I now get to pick and choose who I work for, I'm actually appreciated for the job I do (imagine that!), and I'm earning more than I ever have done in my working life, with much less responsibility and stress and working fewer hours - plus I'm 100% remote permanently, which is very important to me. I'm very fortunate in that I work in an industry where there is plenty of demand for good freelancers at my level of experience/skillset and I was able to quickly gain the clients I needed to replace and surpass my previous salary - although of course there are pros and cons to being self-employed and everyone's experience of it varies. 

I'm not saying that the OP should do something similar - I don't know what industry you are in or just how miserable your job is making you. For me, the pandemic gave me the push I needed to change what I was unhappy with. If COVID-19 hadn't happened, I have no doubt that I'd still be working in the job I hated and feeling stuck in a rut. I'm probably never going to be super-passionate about what I do for a living, but I don't have to be. It's a means to an end and I no longer hate it - I often even quite enjoy it. This way it's on my terms and I'm in charge of my work/life balance etc. Things might change in the future but my only regret so far is that I put up with being unhappy at work for so long before I changed things.

As others have said, this is a decision you need to make with your partner as it doesn't just affect you. Good luck! 

pinkshoes

Is there scope to move within the organisation that you are currently in to have a go at a different role?