Divorce - financially dependant

Snowdrop1866

I've been married 13 years this year, have three kids aged 5, 9 & 11 and Im a full-time mum. I used to work full-time before I had the kids.

My husband is a higher earner (he's over the 90+k bracket) and we have a mortgage which is joint, with joint names on the deeds. The house is an average 3 bed semi. He has a company pension. I have a no savings of my own and no independent money coming in.

Our marriage has completely broken down and I want to divorce him.

Is there anyone who could give me some basic advice on what will happen to the house please? What me and the kids would be entitled to? He told me I'd be entitled to nothing if we divorce and he'd sell the house from under me and the kids. He even told me to leave recently but I refused.

BTW I really want to get a job but my self-esteem is so low because I believe he's been emotionally abusive. I'm in the process of getting help for this. I want to be able to work but it's something I can't just do immediately due to more complicated matters I can't get into here. I have no medical disabilities.

SensibleSarah

Many solicitors offer a free 30-minute consultation - I'd definitely take advantage of that! 
It's unlikely that you won't have claim to a share in the family home though, along with other assets considered matrimonial. If he's telling you otherwise then it seems to be a scare tactic rather than based in fact. Well done for not leaving the home. Stay until you know exactly where you stand! 
Definitely get professional legal advice asap.

Mojisola

Assuming you are in England or Wales and that the property is registered with the LR -

www.gov.uk/government/publications/applications-under-the-family-law-act-1996/practice-guide-20-applications-under-the-family-law-act-1996

Immediately register your matrimonial interest in the house with the Land Registry -

www.gov.uk/government/publications/notice-of-home-rights-registration-hr1

Also register for alerts in case he attempts to sell the house -

https://propertyalert.landregistry.gov.uk/

GDB2222

There's a very useful financial guide here:

https://www.judiciary.uk/wp-content/uploads/2016/04/fjc-sorting-out-financial-needs-april-16-final-revised-nov17.pdf

TBagpuss

If the house is in joint names he can’t sell it from under you. If it’s in his sole name, register your matrimonial home rights.
he cannot make you leave unless a court orders you to.
any financial settlement is decided based on what is fair and reasonable taking into account all the circumstances, which includes the length of the relationship, your respective needs, and needs of the children, your respective incomes and earning capacities etc.
your contributions by being the main carer for the children would be seen as being just as valuable as his financial contributions.
every case is decided based on its own facts, but the start point is an equal split (of *all* assets, including any like pensions which are in one person’s sole name) and it’s common for the lower earner, particularly if they are also the main cater for the children, to be entitled to more than 50% to meet their needs and ensure fairness in the longer term.
you will be in a much stronger position to stay in the house if you are able to afford the mortgage payments, even if you can’t raise more cash to buy him out right away. 

I would suggest that you start looking for part time work  and remember that once you separate you can apply for benefits as a single person to boost your earned income, and if the children live with you you will be entitled to child support 
www.resolution.org.uk is a good place to start to find a local solicitor 

elsien

Although spousal maintenance is becoming rarer, it’s still a possibility. Sibling had to pay his ex spousal maintenance for 4 years to give her the chance to retrain, 
If you can evidence domestic abuse then there may also be the possibility of legal aid. 

Lavendyr

Don't move out of the house. 

Suggest you contact Citizens' Advice Bureau (CAB) at least, if not the police, re a coercive controlling relationship. Get it on record. 

Prima facie as a spouse it's 50/50, but there could be complications over custody and your husband doesn't sound as though he is open to an amicable split. You need legal advice. Lots of useful links above. Please use them. 

https://www.cps.gov.uk/legal-guidance/controlling-or-coercive-behaviour-intimate-or-family-relationship 

tightauldgit

He can't sell the house without your permission as you are the joint owner. 

In divorce the starting point is a 50/50 split of the total marital assets - so house, pensions, savings, car, etc - though that can change depending on what the court decides. The courts aren't there to make mums with kids homeless so they will look at what you would need to establish yourself independently and may well award more than a 50/50 split. Of course what they come up with in the end will be unique to you - there's no real cookie cutter method of determining what you would get with certainty but 50/50 is the starting point and unless there's circumstances you haven't included here I couldn't see you getting less than that.

You can pretty easily see what you would be due in child maintenance by putting in your details on the CMS website although that again will depend on what you agree re: custody

Markneath

You would get 50% of assets possibly 60%, the house is a difficult one though if you want to keep it you might need to buy him out and get a mortgage in your own name. It would generally be unfair for him to stay on a mortgage of a house he can’t live in although it does sometimes happen.

Depending where you live his Pension from before you married might be ignored but pension built up during the marriage would count. 

Based on what you say of his earnings if you were the main carer for the children you would be entitled to a lot of child support providing his pay is PAYE, if he’s self employed or a company director it would probably be a lot less. Anything he pays into a pension would reduce what he pays also.