Single parent wanting to rent privately

MoonSeer

How does one do this? 

I have been offered a job but cannot currently do it where I live. There are seven of us in a two bed flat. (Social) I have no chance of moving into a larger property and having spoken to my landlord about my work situation, they won’t stop me from renting privately with my younger children while the rest of my family stay in the flat. (They are all on the tenancy and so can cover the rent without it being classed as a sublet)
I have been looking at properties with my eldest as they might end up joining me in the new job so we have been looking at houses about 30 miles away from our current place given that it’s so much cheaper. But the snag we seem to have hit is that lining my ducks in a row isn’t enough. Forget for a moment that I have a dog and most landlords do not wish to rent to pet owners, our wages alone are not enough for us to be considered. The private rent is only £300 more than what I currently pay and I’ll be splitting that for the first time in my life so it’s more affordable in theory but not on paper. 

Getting a guarantor might be possible but it will be a long and traumatic journey to do so. 

I am considering all the options and while I might not completely like the options I have, I am aware that I do have choices but how is this usually dealt with? Renting a property for £1200, they want a ‘joint’ income of £42k. There are so many single parents who just wouldn’t be able to consider this as an option. Many of the two beds I looked at actually said on their adverts, ‘no children’. I feel like I’m seriously missing something important here and have obviously been spoilt from the fact I’ve lived in social housing so long. 

MalMonroe

If there are seven of you living in a social housing two bed flat, then you are overcrowded and your landlord needs to find you a larger property. ASAP. Why do you say you have no chance of that? 

I feel that is a major priority, rather than you and your eldest leaving five family members behind. Even then, with five people, that's overcrowded.

I cannot believe that your social housing landlord has said you may move out and leave some family behind without noticing that seven people are squashed into a tiny flat. That landlord needs a firework up the b**!

You say "The private rent is only £300 more than what I currently pay and I’ll be splitting that for the first time in my life so it’s more affordable in theory but not on paper." (That last bit doesn't really make sense.)

£300 more a what? A week, a month, a year?

Renting another, private property for £1200 a month while still helping to maintain another small flat means you will need to be earning a very high wage in your new job.

And if you can afford all that much to cover two rents, why on earth are 7 of you currently struggling in a two bed social housing flat?

You have children and a dog. Many private landlords want neither, that's true. 

Before you take on a job that's miles away from where you live, I think you really do need to get some help and advice and if your social housing is with your council then you can contact them for a chat about your unsatisfactory current circumstances (overcrowding) and your need to be rehoused as a priority, as well as any benefits you may be entitled to. 

If I were you I would also contact Relate as they help people with all kinds of housing issues, the link is here -

https://england.shelter.org.uk/

Good luck. 

Savvy_Sue

MalMonroe, I think you're overlooking the fact that at least three of those 7 people in that overcrowded flat must be adults (OP is talking of moving out with a son, leaving 5 behind).

In that case, I'm not sure the HA / LA has any responsibility to resolve the overcrowding. Any adult in the family is at liberty to move out and find their own accommodation. 

Even if they did, even if this was a single parent with 6 children, there just aren't enough properties for everyone who is overcrowded. And HAs won't move people into something better, but still technically overcrowded. 

But Shelter is a good call.

MoonSeer

Thank you to both of you. I will have a word with shelter and see what they suggest. 

@Savvy_Sue you are right about the overcrowding rules. And I’m flinders than happy to look at the private to ease the burden but I don’t understand how it’s so hard. Private Rents in my area charge the same in a week that I pay in a month. So in my head right now, the solution is to find more space for me and the young ones which this job enables me to do in a way I theoretically should be able to afford. I’m hoping once my older child’s job is confirmed, our income level will be okay but I can’t stop thinking about how hard it is. This is the first time since my divorce where I’ve really stepped out of my safety bubble. It’s been a shock to say the least. 

@MalMonroe - sorry if I miss stuff that you raised but for a quick overview, 

where I live, there are very few properties available and the wait time for a 3-4 bedroom is  between 16-34 years. I was eligible for a 4 bed around three years ago. Still a long way to go! It’s not that they don’t want to move me. There just isn’t anywhere and plenty of people in the same or worse position than me.

 I would be taking my younger children with me so a three bed for four of us is £300pm more 

as I am on universal credit in a zero hours contract, being offered a six month job with a real possibility of a permanent position at the end is something I want to jump on for personal reasons. Given the way things are going, if I don’t stay in regular work, they may find a reason to stop my benefits as they have threatened to when I’ve had slow months at work. 

The older children staying in the flat can manage the rent as all three are now in stable-ish employment (one is my child’s partner.) between them, it’s manageable. One is still in college for another year. 

The thing about splitting the rent and it being more affordable is relating to the fact that in real terms, the rent will feel less for me. But on paper where the lettings agency do their calculations, I can’t afford it on my salary. Even if I was giving up my flat completely then I still wouldn’t be able to get a private place for me and my younger two. Definitely not for all of us. I’m genuinely shocked. 

I’m working up the courage to ask for some help from my possible guarantors but I’ll get in touch with shelter and see if they can offer any ideas that I may have missed. Thanks for the link. 

Spendless

Can the dog not stop with your child and partner and the one at college? 

 Is a private landlord in the new area going to be open to renting a 2 bed place to 2 adults (that are parent/child rather than a couple)  plus 2 younger children?.

MoonSeer

@Spendless I am looking for a three bed Now. I was just commenting on stipulations that landlords have when I’ve been looking. The reason I found it so incredulous was because as a social housing tenant, the minimum I can be offered is generally what others would consider too small for their needs. I was in a one bed with two children for many years. But now, I couldn’t get a one bed privately if I plan on having my children with me. I’m sure it sounds really petty with trying to decipher these things but I have SpLD and I often miss things that are really obvious to others so hearing alternative perspectives helps me to process information. 

My you one of my younger children is HSP and the dog is (unofficially) a form of therapy for her. The other kids in the flat already have their own pets. On a personal level, part of the draw for moving further away from a city would be the fact we could live in a house with some outside space. Apparently, I was being far too ambitious thinking such things. But the dog definitely has to come with us.  

pickledonionspaceraider

I know what you mean about lack of social housing.  I know of children that are spending their entire lives in tower blocks, right up to adulthood

I can see you want to improve your life, and I applaud that - but i think you need to go about it in a different way

I have to say, I think this whole scheme is a bad bad idea

A couple of red flags here:

1- The job isn't guaranteed to be permanent. This is a huge step for a temp job.

2- If you move to a new place and rely on your adult child to help with the rent - what about when they want to move out and you can't cope on your own

If you go ahead, i would want it in writing from my social landlord that they are happy with this arrangement, as it sounds strange to me.  Unless your adult kids are named on the tenancy agreement ie not just as living there but as the actual tenant

I do not mean to dash your dreams, but to me, this whole scheme is not entirely sensible.  Is it worthwhile to uproot  family etc for a temp job, to a home you could only afford if you shared rent  with an adult child who will likely want to move out on their own at some point. 

And finally finding a guarantor is going to be hard.  It is a lot to ask of someone. It sounds so simple really just sign a piece of paper, but its a huge undertaking not to be taken lightly.  What it is asking is someone to pay your rent in the event that you can't.  and you do not have a permeant job and you cannot afford the rent on your own if your adult child moves out.  It sounds like a fools game to me and likely the guarantor is going to get stung hard

What I would do is:-

1 - Look for social exchanges i- hit the internet hard.  There are websites for swaps, and also loads of facebook groups. Hit them hard, take some nice photos when the flat is at its tidiest and everyone's out.   people do want to downsize to get away from the bedroom tax. Widen your search areas 
2 - I would look for a job nearer to home or look at courses to improve my chances of getting a job, my ideal job.
3-  It sounds like you have a lot of adults living with you, are they not wanting to move out? it must be intolerable all of you in such a small space.  I would not have an adult child's partner there. I would never have agreed to that as you literally do not have the space.  I would be floating this idea, at this point - if they are old enough to live with a partner and have a job, they are old enough to have their own flat now.  I would be telling them to get their names on the council wait lists and write them a letter to take to the council to tell the council that you are making them homeless to back up their case, as the council knows you are overcrowded

Alternatively you say you were looking around 30 miles away so I assume the job is approx. that distance.  In my mind it would be safer to commute to this temp job.  If at any point you get a permanent contract then maybe rethink things

These are all things that spring to mind and I am super cautious about everything

Whatever you decide, i wish you luck

Spendless

I must admit I've had similar reservations about it that the above poster has.

Is it this job or nothing? I get that some areas don't have much opportunity and lower wages - I live in one. The advantage is they tend to have lower living costs too.

Is commuting possible with the hours you've been offered?

I'm unsure  what some of the acronyms you've used mean, but if you mean you have a disabled child, is uprooting them from familiar surroundings and their current school a good plan?

In her mid teens DD had a boyfriend and there were 8 of them live in a 3 bed (LA) house. Single Mum, eldest child plus partner, 5 other kids, 2 of them college-ish age, a disabled son plus 2 younger children and a dog. Not dissimilar to your own circs. I always thought the house sounded hectic tbh and within a couple of years the older ones had moved out with their partners and were having their own kids, so I can see that may be a possibility for your own family before too long. 

Savvy_Sue

Another thing you absolutely MUST take into account is security of tenure.

Your home may be overcrowded, but your landlord would have to work hard to evict you.

Private rentals just don't have that. You can't be evicted on a whim, but the grounds for eviction can be quite wide, and the tenancy can be set up to be renewed - or not - at regular intervals.

A swap would definitely be worth pursuing.

Ratkin007

pickledonionspaceraider has put it all nicely.
Although you say children are on the tenancy, do any of them hold the tenancy jointly with you or is the tenancy in your sole name.  If tenancy is in your sole name you could be seen as giving up security of tenancy as it stops being your sole and principal home, there may be other considerations which is why you would need to have the landlords written confirmation.  Also, in signing for a private rented tenancy you would be responsible for that rent and bills and the rent for your social home if the occupants failed to pay.  Mutual exchange is a good option to look into.  

MoonSeer

Well, I thought I would offer a quick update.  I have found somewhere that didn't require a security deposit, allowed me to have my dog and it is conveniently right next to a station. I stated my job in May and moved at the end of July.  My 2nd child is in the social flat and landlord is fine with that. Unless i have a family member not living there, it is still mine if i need it.  

Security of tenure is a good point  but I am in a position where my estranged relationship with my family is no longer an estrangement.  I did actually live with my parents for a bit (for childcare purposes when I worked at the vaccine centre. Was a two and half hour journey each way and a 12 hour shift.) and they are only 12 miles out of london.  My current commute while deployed was the same time but I didn't have to ay for it! 

As mentioned, I was deployed and getting travel and accommodation with the job. It is now a wfh role and we have all settled in.  Children are homeschooled so this gave us flexibility and its actually further than we had initially planned but so much better.  everyone is feeling better with their mental health which was a big reason for the move.  

While I appreciate all the thoughts, I had tried for so long to manage in the overcrowded conditions but it was affecting kids learning and other things.  Both younger ones are thriving and making so much progress with their learning now.  Spending lockdowns cooped up in that flat had been traumatising and while I appreciate I am not the only one who struggled, I was privileged enough to make changes which I have now done. 

Its been a journey as we had to get everything from scratch. Had no furniture but thanks to olio and freecycle and local ebay sellers etc, I have managed to make this a home.  

My current role is contracted to August 2024 and I can then decide how I want to move forward.  Child 3 will be able to work by then so we will see how finances fare.  For now, we are doing okay and while throws us the proverbial lemons every now and then, we are in a good headspace to deal with all that's been thrown our way.