Divorce settlement

benish

Hi, 

currently going through the motions of divorce. Fairly amicable. 
We have 90k to split from the family home equity, I earn 70k she earns 14k working 2 days. I have the kids (5&7) 2 days/nights a week. I have a new house sorted already. 
We initially agreed on 80/20 of the equity so she could afford somewhere (3 beds in our area are 230k+), she can get a mortgage for 140k. 
I've now agreed on her taking 100% in order for her to afford a 3 bed, but told her she's not touching my pension. 

CMS says 740 for maintenance but I've upped it to 1100 so as to cover uniforms, school clubs, etc. However she's annoyed I haven't paid £280 for swimming this term. 

As I'm giving up so much money, I've tried to stay away from a solicitor, as without taking any equity I can't really afford one. I've taken lots of free 30 minute advice appointments and all seem to suggest its about the needs of the children and I'm screwed on the equity front and would be lucky if no spousal maintenance would be owed on top of the 1100. 


I know no ones qualified to offer advice that a solicitor would, but to anyone that has gone through all this, do the numbers seem fair/unfair??!! 

Thanks
Ben!

london21

I do not have personal experience but Looks like you have been fair and reasonable from the financial contribution you have mentioned, as the kids get older she would likely be able to increase her hours and income also.

Is your agreements legally binding with regards to your pension?  I understand that you are trying to keep costs low but you would not want a situation that in the future claims are made against your pension against the verbal agreement.

74jax

benish said:

Hi, 

currently going through the motions of divorce. Fairly amicable. 
We have 90k to split from the family home equity, I earn 70k she earns 14k working 2 days. I have the kids (5&7) 2 days/nights a week. I have a new house sorted already. 
We initially agreed on 80/20 of the equity so she could afford somewhere (3 beds in our area are 230k+), she can get a mortgage for 140k. 
I've now agreed on her taking 100% in order for her to afford a 3 bed, but told her she's not touching my pension. 

CMS says 740 for maintenance but I've upped it to 1100 so as to cover uniforms, school clubs, etc. However she's annoyed I haven't paid £280 for swimming this term. 

As I'm giving up so much money, I've tried to stay away from a solicitor, as without taking any equity I can't really afford one. I've taken lots of free 30 minute advice appointments and all seem to suggest its about the needs of the children and I'm screwed on the equity front and would be lucky if no spousal maintenance would be owed on top of the 1100. 


I know no ones qualified to offer advice that a solicitor would, but to anyone that has gone through all this, do the numbers seem fair/unfair??!! 

Thanks
Ben!

How will she not touch your pension if you aren't having a solicitor do a legal clean break consent order? 

RAS

You absolutely must have a clean break order in place before you give her the equity. Otherwise she can go after your pension whenever she wants. 

Head over to UK's most visited online site for free divorce advice (wikivorce.com)

benish

Ok. Thanks for the responses! 
The conveyancer that sold the family home is doing the order for us. I will demand a clean break out of it. Seems fair, if she's going getting 100% then I get to keep that. It is only 35k, but I guess she could get 50% of it. 

I'll get a solicitor if its proving difficult in demanding a clean break.

Pollycat

Spousal maintenance is very rare nowadays.

My friend who was divorced 10 years ago would have kissed your feet if her ex had offered what you have.
He originally went for 50/50 and eventually settled for 60/40 (although she did get a share of his pension).
He paid what the system said he should (and in fairness kept up the payments).
He did force sale of the house even though both kids were under 18.

You say she is 'annoyed'.
How annoyed?
You are already paying £360 per month more than CSA says you should and she's 'annoyed' that you've not paid a bill of £280 per term?
She needs a good dose of reality.

Do make sure you are totally covered going forward so she can't come back for more money.

tightauldgit

benish said:

Hi, 

currently going through the motions of divorce. Fairly amicable. 
We have 90k to split from the family home equity, I earn 70k she earns 14k working 2 days. I have the kids (5&7) 2 days/nights a week. I have a new house sorted already. 
We initially agreed on 80/20 of the equity so she could afford somewhere (3 beds in our area are 230k+), she can get a mortgage for 140k. 
I've now agreed on her taking 100% in order for her to afford a 3 bed, but told her she's not touching my pension. 

CMS says 740 for maintenance but I've upped it to 1100 so as to cover uniforms, school clubs, etc. However she's annoyed I haven't paid £280 for swimming this term. 

As I'm giving up so much money, I've tried to stay away from a solicitor, as without taking any equity I can't really afford one. I've taken lots of free 30 minute advice appointments and all seem to suggest its about the needs of the children and I'm screwed on the equity front and would be lucky if no spousal maintenance would be owed on top of the 1100. 


I know no ones qualified to offer advice that a solicitor would, but to anyone that has gone through all this, do the numbers seem fair/unfair??!! 

Thanks
Ben!

Without knowing the ins and outs of your personal circumstances its hard to say what's fair or unfair and what a court would decide but the basic starting point for a court is going to be a 50/50 split of total asset pot. Then you would be due to pay whatever child maintenance CMS say is due. My understanding is that spousal maintenance is not that common so I'm not sure why solicitors are advising you that you would be likely to pay it. 

If you are saying you have 90k in equity and 35k in a pension then your base point is going to be an award of £62.5k each and a court may well adjust that up to some extent if they feel she has a need of more to rehouse herself but I think it would be unlikely that she would get £90k out of a pot of £125k. 

It really depends what you are happy with - if you want to settle quickly and are reasonably happy with giving her 100% of the equity in the house then get a clean break order to that effect and you are done with it all. Otherwise you go to court and roll the dice but you have to factor in the legal costs and stress to decide if that's worth it. 

The child maintenance is a separate issue and honestly paying anything over what CMS say is entirely at your discretion. Whether she likes it or not is neither here nor there. Even if you agree to child maintenance in a court order CMS can override it in the future. My experience with a court is that they did not want to discuss child maintenance in the consent order and simply left it to CMS to decide - so even if you did get a spousal support order then it's likely you would be paying £740 in child maintenance and not the £1100 you have offered so you would need to factor that into your calculations. 

It's really up to you at this stage how much you want to get the matter resolved amicably and avoid court and how happy you are to pay over the odds to achieve that. personally I wouldn't agree to the deal you have outlined here but if you feel it's fair then get it formalised in a clean break agreement. If she's not happy with it and won't agree then I'd take my chances with a court.

I don't trust the advice you have received from solicitors on spousal maintenance - are you dealing with family law specialists? I found the local town solicitors to be really badly informed on family law and offered really bad advice which only made the situation worse.   

TBagpuss

The massive difference in your incomes would mean that an unequal split in favour is pretty much inevitable, and her housing needs are likely to be a major factor. 

You can't really compare pensions with equity as if they were the same, but very roughly, your proposal means she gets £90K and you get £35K, so a split of about 70/30 in her favour. That's reasonable but not particularly generous, given your income compared to hers. She probably has some capacity to increase her earning in the near future, but even if she were working full time her income would still be only half what yours is, and the assets are relatively small in comparison with the family income, so a court might consider that short term spousal maintenance to allow her to build up a bit of a cushion of savings might be fair.

In your position, it may well make sense to pay the £280 to keep things amicable until you have a binding order in place.

Bear in  mind that £280 is more than a week's income for her, it's less than 2 days income for you, and the reality is probably that she will struggle to afford it so the children will miss out.

Even after taking into account the child support, you are still nearly £2,000 a month better of than she is, you can afford the swimming a lot more easily than she can and you are going to continue to be in a far stronger financial position that her in the short, medium and long term.