Ex refuses to take name off mortgage and leave

confused0376

We have a joint mortgage, not married, 4 children. He had affair and now Is refusing to leave the house. He’s been emotionally abusing me since it happened over a year ago and although I can have mortgage on my own he refuses to remove his name to keep control of me. If the house has to be sold I won’t be able to afford in same area to keep stability for the children. Can he be forced to sign house over? 

ACG

I dont know (I doubt it). But you could potentially get child maintenance court ordered so you could use that as income for a mortgage application. Although that will depend on the age of your children. 

Thrugelmir

Time to consult a family law solicitor and seek proper advice. 

400ixl

Sorry to hear of the controlling nature of the relationship. You need proper advice.

In his position why would he sign over a house he has a financial interest in? You would in theory need to buy him out of his interest of the property. Yes he would have to pay child maintenance for the children, but that is different to handing over the house.

london21

You need to get the legal advice.

You mentioned you are been abused, seek help.

lorrenrm

If he is emotionally abusing you that’s domestic abuse. Could you get a non-molestation order? That would get him out of the house.

you will need a solicitor though which is costly.

(been in same position, had to sell my house in the end)

CSL0183

confused0376 said:

We have a joint mortgage, not married, 4 children. He had affair and now Is refusing to leave the house. He’s been emotionally abusing me since it happened over a year ago and although I can have mortgage on my own he refuses to remove his name to keep control of me. If the house has to be sold I won’t be able to afford in same area to keep stability for the children. Can he be forced to sign house over? 

If there is equity in the house, why would he sign it over to you and just leave? No, the court cannot force him to sign over his equity to you. You would have to buy him out the house. 

Emotional abuse works both ways and can be countered. I can imagine the household being heated with lots of arguments in both directions. He may be feeling that you are trying to force him out of his home and use that as emotional abuse himself. 

Solicitors rub their hands with cases like these; not cheap and will run into 5 figures as both of you will need solicitors, court fees and so on. 

There’s no easy way; it has to be amicable and sensible otherwise it goes down the court path. The court can force a sale if it’s clear one cannot afford to buy the other one out but they can’t force someone to sign over their property to the other, no.  

Thrugelmir

CSL0183 said:

confused0376 said:

We have a joint mortgage, not married, 4 children. He had affair and now Is refusing to leave the house. He’s been emotionally abusing me since it happened over a year ago and although I can have mortgage on my own he refuses to remove his name to keep control of me. If the house has to be sold I won’t be able to afford in same area to keep stability for the children. Can he be forced to sign house over? 

Solicitors rub their hands with cases like these; not cheap and will run into 5 figures as both of you will need solicitors, court fees and so on. 

That's why family law solicitors exist. In an attempt to be less confrontational. Advising clients to use mediation services as far as possible to reduce costs. Solicitors are expensive. Minimising their time is the key. 

Sistergold

Yes solicitors do rub their hands, make some tea and sit down in a case like this, they know they will now be making money. Best see if you can let things cool down and sell amicably. If you “can afford the mortgage” then it means you should be able to afford buying a similar property without him if you are given your equity from this house. Basically you will have to buy him out at market value unless he decides to take lesser amount, which seems unlikely as everyone will be trying the most from their charge of the asset so as to move on. Good luck. Hopefully it does not have to go to court. 

Exodi

As others have pointed out, I was caught off guard by the 'Can he be forced to sign house over?' at the end.

While you could argue that it is for the benefit of you and the kids to remain in the house/area (and sometimes an ex may move out to allow this), you can't force them to sign over their interest (even in situations where the ex does move out, they retain their interest in the property, with the expectation that the house will be sold and split when the kids grow up).

Even if you were married, you wouldn't just be given the house because he had an affair - you'd still be expected to split assets.

Respectfully, how recently did this happen? I don't want to jump to 'abuse' too early when one side is coming from 'you cheated on me with 4 kids' whereas the other might be 'you're trying to use the situation to steal my house'.

As others have also said, this would just be a big payday for solicitors - the key in these matters is to try to resolve between yourselves. I think ultimately if you can't buy him out, the best option is to just sell the house.

Markneath

Have you actually offered to buy him out giving him half the equity?

If the house is worth 200k and the remaining mortgage is 150k then you need to be offering him 25k for his share with a 175k mortgage/savings or both not telling him to sign the house over to you.