Parental anxiety?

Sorry if this is long 😕

I struggle when son isn't with me (he's almost 6). I'm ok with him at school and with my husband (his dad) but anyone else I really kind of freak out.

As an example my dad's visiting with my little brother who's 8yrs old. He has taken my son with them to the beach and pier whilst I stay home (I have people coming to collect mother's Day cakes as I'm run a home baking business)
I reluctantly agreed, now he's left I can't stop worrying about him having an accident or even dying from falling off a ride (I don't let him go on any rides when I see any risk)

If my brother picks him up from school when I can't (he drives I don't) I worry if they crash and call him if he's even 5mins later than normal 

Or if my mum/sister walks him somewhere I get scared of him running into the road etc.

I can't even relax when he is up in his room alone incase he falls out the windows or bangs his head. (Windows have a safety bit so it's not even possible!) I constantly call him every 3/5mins or just go up and sit in his room with him.

Its worth noting that my dad has 7 children
My mum has 4 children.
They are obviously more experienced than me!
I can't stop this anxiety and I don't want him to be fearful of all these ridiculous things but I can't stop myself. Right now I'm alone I've put my shoes on, saved draft messages to customers to rearrange collections, packed my handbag all just incase I need to run to the hospital due to my crazy paranoia!!



Comments

  • BrassicWoman
    BrassicWoman Posts: 3,202 Forumite
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    You do indeed need medical support. Good luck. xx
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  • jdsimmons3
    jdsimmons3 Posts: 117 Forumite
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    I assumed it's not normal, or at least very exaggerated. I don't want to feel like this at all. I'm slowly getting past it, I finally started to let him sleep at his nans every fortnight around 6months ago, I couldn't sleep the first few time but now I'm pretty comfortable with it.
     But at the same time he just stays in the house my mum's a hermit lol.
     if she was planning to take him out I know my anxiety would go through the roof.
  • Spendless
    Spendless Posts: 24,149 Forumite
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    Hi, I did a mini psychology course when my youngest was a similar age and this was the sort of thing that came up with the parents attending. Re-training your brain to nip these sort of intrusive thoughts in  your head was what they were told they needed to take steps to do. You've acknowledged there's an issue and that's the first step. Try your GP even if they can't help directly they might signpost you to somewhere that can.
  • jdsimmons3
    jdsimmons3 Posts: 117 Forumite
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    Spendless said:
    Hi, I did a mini psychology course when my youngest was a similar age and this was the sort of thing that came up with the parents attending. Re-training your brain to nip these sort of intrusive thoughts in  your head was what they were told they needed to take steps to do. You've acknowledged there's an issue and that's the first step. Try your GP even if they can't help directly they might signpost you to somewhere that can.
    Thank you! I will definitely call them Monday see if there's anything they can do to help.
  • Savvy_Sue
    Savvy_Sue Posts: 46,021 Forumite
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    I don't know if anything here would help? But please, get help, this must be horrible for you and as time goes by there's a risk it will affect your son too. 

    DS3 had one friend at primary school whose mother couldn't let him travel in anyone's car but hers, or on a coach. So any school trips, she 'had' to go as a parent helper and her child had to be with her, or they couldn't go. That seemed so limiting, for both of them! 
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  • SootySweep1
    SootySweep1 Posts: 207 Forumite
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    Hi
    Just want to agree with others & say PLEASE get help & I'd suggest you talk to you GP.

    It must be so awful for you to feel this way

    Big Hugs

    Jen
  • Mojisola
    Mojisola Posts: 35,557 Forumite
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    You don't need to go through the GP (although it may be useful for them to know that you're having problems) - you can self-refer to the NHS talking services
  • I hope you get some assistance with this

    The worrying thing is that parents do pass on their anxiety to children, it becomes learned behaviour and can come out later in life
    With love, POSR <3
  • kimwp
    kimwp Posts: 1,782 Forumite
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    edited 28 March 2022 at 11:37PM
    It all comes from a good place, but one that has gone into overdrive. You need help to get it under control and gain perspective so that all of you can live a more full and fun life.  (And well done you for reaching out)
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