Money grabbing relative!!!

Loobysaver

A so called relative has managed to "persuade" my Grandmother to lend them £5,000. They assured her that they would pay her back.

Now they've announced they don't know when/how they are going to pay any back as they are skint!:mad:

I am so cross as my Grandmother is newly widowed and I believe she was backed in a corner and didn't feel like she could say no.

This person is in my Grandmothers will so I suppose there is an option of adding a bit in the will about the money, but how complicated would that be and how much would it cost?

I don't know how some people can live with themselves!!:mad:

ailuro2

Talk to your Grandmother,and let her know you will support her whatever she decides.It is her money to do with as she pleases, after all.

She will not want to be thought of as a vulnerable fool, and if she is recently widowed then mentioning her will would only serve to remind her of her own advancing years?

Be good to your Gran, and when she is feeling stronger encourage her to take positive action to stop this person getting any more money from her.

Loobysaver

ailuro2 wrote: »

Talk to your Grandmother,and let her know you will support her whatever she decides.It is her money to do with as she pleases, after all.

She will not want to be thought of as a vulnerable fool, and if she is recently widowed then mentioning her will would only serve to remind her of her own advancing years?

Be good to your Gran, and when she is feeling stronger encourage her to take positive action to stop this person getting any more money from her.

Thanks for the reply. She has already said she feels foolish for lending the money and feels guilty as she always likes to treat us family members the same and she feels now that she has just "given" £5,000 away.

My Mum and I have told her not to worry but she now feels she has to give some more money to us to even things up!!! (please note we have refused this offer and told her not to even think about doing that)

I am sooo cross as my Grandfather always had a tight rein on the finance's and he would never have allowed this to happen. This relative knows this so I feel he has well and truly taken advantage.

It just goes to show that sadly even family members can't be trusted.

skintas_2

sounds like my nitemare of sister in law

antronella

This happened to my mum & dad..years ago & they ended up 'lending' over £20,000:eek: to a close relative. It was to save the person losing their home, but they lost it anyway. When they realised they wouldn't get it back, they did change their will, not sure how much it cost. Sure a call to a solicitor would advise on the cost though.

hev_2

You don't have to change a will or add a codicil - just make a new one stating that you revoke all previous wills.

Might be a good idea to get it drawn up properly, but if you shop around you may be able to get a good deal.

So sorry for your Grandmother - if she is comfortable talking about it, perhaps discuss ways she can avoid being backed into a corner again.

HTH

mum2one

A will can vary from £40.00 to about £80.00, as the other poster said a new will will revoke all others, its best to go through a solicitor as thatwayyou know everything is write.

Without being personal re your grandmothers age - over 60, try Age Concern as thrydeal with solicitors who may do it a discounted rate.

The sooner she gets it sorted the better.

We hsd exactly the same problem with our family, my one uncle bleed my nan dry,when he was suppose to be setting up in business again it was after my grandad had died, she never saw a penny of it,he had nothing to do with her when the money run dry.

Loobysaver

Thanks everyone for your replies.

My Gran only drew up a will about 6 months ago when her husband died. I don't know how much she spent but she went through a solicitor in town.

She mentioned just writing a letter stating that she wanted the amount deducted from the relative in the will, but I don't think that would be legally binding. If she brings it up again this week I'll try and see what she wants to do.

This just upsets me so much as I would never dream of a) borrowing that sort of money from a relative and/or b) borrowing it without being sure I could make the repayments.

larmy16

Your poor Gran. She sounds like a lovely lady. I think we all of us have a similar tale about a member of the family. It is amazing what trouble money causes and how people seem to lose any sense of morality around it. Hope you sort it all out. x

margaretclare

Bereavement is a terrible thing, any bereavement, and widowhood can be worse. It's well known that one's 'balance of mind' is upset and no major decisions should be made immediately following widowhood. This unscrupulous person obviously took advantage of this fact.

Your Gran can alter her will, and a little piece can be written in to prevent the person claiming - 'given that so-and-so has already had £xxxx' - that kind of thing. She'd need to see the solicitor who drew up her will - a solicitor's letter kept with her will may do the trick.

It's also possible to pursue this as a debt, even with a relative, in the same way that any other debt can be pursued. The Small Claims Court will advise.

HTH

Margaret

moon-pig_2

My parents recently were concerned about us being disinherited in the same way. They used a professional willwriting firm based in London (an IPW member) who was also able to safeguard their house from care fees.

The firm were excellent (and very reasonably priced), and so my wife and I used them as well.