Can I request higher percentage of ownership of inherited house?

thegreenone

I'm sorry for your loss. 

It is very early days and your Mum's possessions will need to be cleared first before you think about the house itself.  Don't be bullied but don't drag it out either.

Rozzierae

Pollycat said:

Rozzierae said:

It's really tough, she could be really cruel at times, but I never took it to heart as I would be frustrated and angry too in that situation. I hope I can heal from all that in time, I appreciate your words. Your mum was lucky to have you, it takes a lot of strength to put everything aside and do what is in your loved Wanted, I bet she appreciated being at home.

As 74jax says, it's very hard to look after someone with dementia.
My sister did it, she was much closer than me to Mum and was the baby of the family.
As it happens, Mum did make a will.
But if she hadn't I would have made sure that my sister was financially recompensed for what she did for Mum. I too am financially stable and am mortgage free.
I hope your brother feels the same way as I did.

Thank you Pollycat, I hope so too, it would be a kick in the teeth really if they did not acknowledge what was involved in her care, and the things I gave up along the way. She was worth it, we had some wonderful moments during this time that make me smile. Life is going to be very strange without her.

missnosey122

Firstly sorry for your loss.  Remember the good times the rest just doesn't matter now you obviously love her or u wdnt have helped her.

You can contest there are 2 ways financial provision act or proprietary estoppel fm what I've read u may not fit proprietary but you may qualify for the other being as your needs are higher than your brothers worth looking into. However if u already have somewhere to live you may feel better just splitting 50/50 saves a lot of upset between family. In a couple of weeks broach the subject with your brother he may already be thinking of a different split as he was aware of mum's wishes. You can apply for probate yourself or together but the 1st to apply will most likely receive the letters of administration papers. Be mindful of deprivation of assets with dwp where means tested benefits are concerned if you've got a support worker speak to them they may be able to put u In touch with better qualified ppl to help & advise.

missnosey122

Just a thought for you and anyone else going through similar, your brother might not be a financially settled as you believe. It may be nessity asking for intestate 50/50 split not greed (sorry might not be right word). If anyone is bankrupt or has a iva they can't just agree a different breakdown their share has to cover debts and any fees  They shd also immediately tell their Insolvency Service provider as its the date of death that is the deciding factor not when you receive the inheritance 

Twixty3

Sorry for your loss. Dementia is awful.

Sometimes these disabled adaptations grants do have to be at least part paid upon death so you should check that out if you haven't already.

If your brother does not agree to you having a larger share it is still possible that he could take into account that this is potentially may be your only chance of owning property if that is the case  and you could mutually agree that he would get his share later somehow if you cannot afford to buy him out but that you live in and  maintain the house and therefore future increases in value could be yours.  Joint ownership/tenants in common could be a possibility although he would have a tax liability when it is sold later. 

Let him know what you think and various possible options for agreement then let him ponder it.  He needs to know how you feel/think and come to his decision,  whatever that may be,  and hearing your view may make him consider something he has not already thought about. 
 

Good luck  

Marcon

Sea_Shell said:

Rozzierae said:

Thank you both. They jumped straight on the subject, I understand they want some clarity but my head is all over the place. Writing it down the thing that hurts the most is that they think they should get half, it is not about the money as I just want some security , it just suggests a complete lack of recognition of everything I did to support mum alone. If they had been a part of this process of support it would be different.  Not only the practicalities but her behaviour due to dementia. Every day there was punching, spitting, kicking out, refusing meds, she was doubly incontinent and attacked carers. Dealing with health issues. It was getting to the point where I was verging on a breakdown and respite was being organised. My motivations were keeping her where I promised her she would stay, security for me in having somewhere to live, and a future inheritance for my niece. This would not be a reality now had I not done all this. Thank you, I really do need legal advice.

As I understand it "intestacy" can't be contested* in the same way that a will can, if it is felt that it doesn't provide for you sufficiently.   



* I think, someone will correct me if wrong.

It can, and in just the same way as you'd contest a will.

A week after the death, when everyone is feeling raw, really isn't the time to expect a calm and rationale discussion, so perhaps OP might like to suggest to brother and wife that a little time should be allowed to pass (and surely a funeral to take place?) before any steps are taken to administer the estate.

Rozzierae

Twixty3 said:

Sorry for your loss. Dementia is awful.

Sometimes these disabled adaptations grants do have to be at least part paid upon death so you should check that out if you haven't already.

If your brother does not agree to you having a larger share it is still possible that he could take into account that this is potentially may be your only chance of owning property if that is the case  and you could mutually agree that he would get his share later somehow if you cannot afford to buy him out but that you live in and  maintain the house and therefore future increases in value could be yours.  Joint ownership/tenants in common could be a possibility although he would have a tax liability when it is sold later. 

Let him know what you think and various possible options for agreement then let him ponder it.  He needs to know how you feel/think and come to his decision,  whatever that may be,  and hearing your view may make him consider something he has not already thought about. 
 

Good luck  

I hope he does consider this, I have said this is about security, not money. It is.also an investment for his daughter, who I love dearly. It is not a major investment, it's a two bed starter home, but my mum loved it, they came down 2-3 times a year while I lived round the corner and saw her every day, even before the dementia. She loved us equally though, and I wouldn't want him to feel cheated. Hopefully I can buy him out in the future. I need to get my head clear and talk to him about it. Thank you

Rozzierae

Marcon said:

Sea_Shell said:

Rozzierae said:

Thank you both. They jumped straight on the subject, I understand they want some clarity but my head is all over the place. Writing it down the thing that hurts the most is that they think they should get half, it is not about the money as I just want some security , it just suggests a complete lack of recognition of everything I did to support mum alone. If they had been a part of this process of support it would be different.  Not only the practicalities but her behaviour due to dementia. Every day there was punching, spitting, kicking out, refusing meds, she was doubly incontinent and attacked carers. Dealing with health issues. It was getting to the point where I was verging on a breakdown and respite was being organised. My motivations were keeping her where I promised her she would stay, security for me in having somewhere to live, and a future inheritance for my niece. This would not be a reality now had I not done all this. Thank you, I really do need legal advice.

As I understand it "intestacy" can't be contested* in the same way that a will can, if it is felt that it doesn't provide for you sufficiently.   



* I think, someone will correct me if wrong.

It can, and in just the same way as you'd contest a will.

A week after the death, when everyone is feeling raw, really isn't the time to expect a calm and rationale discussion, so perhaps OP might like to suggest to brother and wife that a little time should be allowed to pass (and surely a funeral to take place?) before any steps are taken to administer the estate.

I agree, it's much too quick. I wish they had not said anything at the moment as they were all over the place in what they wanted. Going from one extreme to another. It's just potential money to them, they are already planning what they can do with it, I think they are in for a rude awakening. They just need to calm down a bit.

Sea_Shell

Marcon said:

Sea_Shell said:

Rozzierae said:

Thank you both. They jumped straight on the subject, I understand they want some clarity but my head is all over the place. Writing it down the thing that hurts the most is that they think they should get half, it is not about the money as I just want some security , it just suggests a complete lack of recognition of everything I did to support mum alone. If they had been a part of this process of support it would be different.  Not only the practicalities but her behaviour due to dementia. Every day there was punching, spitting, kicking out, refusing meds, she was doubly incontinent and attacked carers. Dealing with health issues. It was getting to the point where I was verging on a breakdown and respite was being organised. My motivations were keeping her where I promised her she would stay, security for me in having somewhere to live, and a future inheritance for my niece. This would not be a reality now had I not done all this. Thank you, I really do need legal advice.

As I understand it "intestacy" can't be contested* in the same way that a will can, if it is felt that it doesn't provide for you sufficiently.   



* I think, someone will correct me if wrong.

It can, and in just the same way as you'd contest a will.

A week after the death, when everyone is feeling raw, really isn't the time to expect a calm and rationale discussion, so perhaps OP might like to suggest to brother and wife that a little time should be allowed to pass (and surely a funeral to take place?) before any steps are taken to administer the estate.

OK. I stand corrected.

However, If the brother does dig his heels in, does the OP have the financial resources to pursue this through the courts?

Unfortunately, these scenarios aren't uncommon and we sadly read about them on here all the time.   We don't always hear about the conclusions mind, so some may have happy endings!

Pollycat

Rozzierae said:

Marcon said:

Sea_Shell said:

Rozzierae said:

Thank you both. They jumped straight on the subject, I understand they want some clarity but my head is all over the place. Writing it down the thing that hurts the most is that they think they should get half, it is not about the money as I just want some security , it just suggests a complete lack of recognition of everything I did to support mum alone. If they had been a part of this process of support it would be different.  Not only the practicalities but her behaviour due to dementia. Every day there was punching, spitting, kicking out, refusing meds, she was doubly incontinent and attacked carers. Dealing with health issues. It was getting to the point where I was verging on a breakdown and respite was being organised. My motivations were keeping her where I promised her she would stay, security for me in having somewhere to live, and a future inheritance for my niece. This would not be a reality now had I not done all this. Thank you, I really do need legal advice.

As I understand it "intestacy" can't be contested* in the same way that a will can, if it is felt that it doesn't provide for you sufficiently.   



* I think, someone will correct me if wrong.

It can, and in just the same way as you'd contest a will.

A week after the death, when everyone is feeling raw, really isn't the time to expect a calm and rationale discussion, so perhaps OP might like to suggest to brother and wife that a little time should be allowed to pass (and surely a funeral to take place?) before any steps are taken to administer the estate.

I agree, it's much too quick. I wish they had not said anything at the moment as they were all over the place in what they wanted. Going from one extreme to another. It's just potential money to them, they are already planning what they can do with it, I think they are in for a rude awakening. They just need to calm down a bit.

Unfair as it may seem, you should perhaps keep in mind that your brother is entitled to half of your Mum's estate.

Unless you can afford to challenge this legally, your best bet is diplomacy - you are reliant on your brother's goodwill.

I agree that right now is not the best time to be talking about this.
Who instigated the 'several discussions' you've already had with your brother and his wife about the house?

We lost our Mum 5 months ago so I do know how difficult it is.