Valentines gift for grieving wife

mikeouk

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I’d like to get my wife something as I usually do, however, last year my step son was tragically killed in an accident, my wife is understandably devastated and struggling day to day. She feels guilty doing anything that she used to enjoy, and I’m not even sure Valentine’s Day will be on her radar this year or possibly ever.
I’m not sure what to do, or what to get her, or even if she’d want anything.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
I just want to make her a little bit happy.

sheramber

Maybe a plant  for the garden in memory of her son.

You can get roses for specific occasions

https://www.thefragrantrosecompany.co.uk/shop-all-roses/roses-by-occasion/remembrance-roses

littlegreenparrot

Ask her. 
I thought we could go out for the day to x, or to that nice place for dinner. would you like to? 

Have a conversation and see what happens. As long as it's clear there's no pressure to say yes to anything, you just wanted to do something nice. 

olgadapolga

mikeouk said:

With Valentine’s Day coming up, I’d like to get my wife something as I usually do, however, last year my step son was tragically killed in an accident, my wife is understandably devastated and struggling day to day. She feels guilty doing anything that she used to enjoy, and I’m not even sure Valentine’s Day will be on her radar this year or possibly ever.
I’m not sure what to do, or what to get her, or even if she’d want anything.
Has anyone been in a similar situation?
I just want to make her a little bit happy.

Maybe not make it about Valentine's Day? My son did something really nice for me, which surprised me enough to remark that it wasn't my birthday or Christmas. His response was that he didn't need an "occasion" to do something nice for me.

sillyvixen

Maybe you could treat her to a meal in, instead of out, cook her favourite foods and enjoy! No need to dress up if she doesn't feel like it if she does have a wobble she is at home and not in a surrounded by strangers in a resteraunt.
If cookings not your thing maybe a takeaway of a favourite food type. 

Ms_Chocaholic

This isn't about the reason for your post and sorry if you think I'm making assumptions, I'm not, but do you spend time together talking about him?

MovingForwards

Slightly different but my parent suddenly died, less than a month later was my birthday. Just for one day I wanted 'normality' in between coroner's, funeral arrangements etc. 

Being handed unwrapped gifts reduced me to tears, as did not getting a card and therefore no loving poem. It was assumed I didn't want to do anything, even most of my friends let the day pass without a word; only two sent a message.

I would suggest a card, gift and see if your wife wants to try a bit of happiness, even just for 30 minutes to give her head a break.

london21

Ask her what she would like.
It can be so hard when going through grief to want to do anything which is understandable but might help her feel a little better to take her mind away for just a little while. 

gettingtheresometime

Personally I wouldn't get her a gushy romantic card - I'd get her one that said in effect that you're by her side / got her back in the bad times as well as the good.

I'd also do something that you hadn't done before on Valentine's Day.

TripleH

Was there somewhere where your stepson liked visiting? Maybe go there as a way of remembering him?