Struggling to stay out of debt

kimwp

How are you with spreadsheets? 

middlingditch

Glittermouse said:

Oh no. Hit my usual problem. To do a budget I need a lovely new notebook. I can’t win 🌺.

It's great that you've seen yourself thinking this instead of just mindlessly going out and buying one!  

The point is I guess that once you have a budget, you might be able to budget enough for a lovely new notebook every week if you want. That's up to you. (Don't let anyone tell you what to spend your money on.) But you need to be in control of it and make the numbers add up. 

MASSIVE help to me is the "wait and see if I really want it" habit. I HAVE to have that new book, right? (I definitely know that feeling!) So the "new me" says fine, I can have it if I still HAVE to have it in a week's time (and it's within my book budget!). Almost all the time a week passes and I think actually no, I won't buy it now.

Glittermouse

Thank you so much SusieT. A visual tracker is an excellent idea. I will have to face my transactions in detail to see where my money goes. I have got a bit better with books as I often reserve them and think about it. Although it falls down when I just get another book anyway. 

There is a local library but they don’t stock a great selection which is why I buy books. I request a book from them that I really wanted to read but it has not arrived. That request was made two years ago. I do apply for proofs through work so that helps my desire for books.

And thank you, I get a bit fed up of people telling me what I should not buy. I will make little budgets for things. And the rewards at the end. There’s lots of lovely little ones I can think of for my mum, my dogs and me. 

I think this is going to take a lot of work. 

Glittermouse

Thanks kimwp. Pretty good, I used to be an administrator. I got very bored with keeping everything on a computer. A physical notebook I can keep with me. Thank you very much for the suggestion though. 

Glittermouse

Apologies everyone if my typing is rubbish. Had a massive fright today and still bit uneasy. 

Glittermouse

Hello Chris_English. Thank you for the feedback although that is not strictly true. Dedicated notebooks keep everything in order. 🌺😀

Chris_English

Glittermouse said:

Hello Chris_English. Thank you for the feedback although that is not strictly true. Dedicated notebooks keep everything in order. 🌺😀

That’s true, but it’s spending more than you earn that brought you here, and turning that around is going to mean finding ways to reduce that spending. 

Those little treats add up over time.

It’s just worth asking yourself, is this genuinely a need, or just something nice that you’d enjoy treating yourself to?

As you wrote in your first post “ And then what do I do? Spend money on books, sweets (out of control sugar tooth) and fatally, get another CC and use it for art stuff (at college part-time), to live when my money doesn’t last the month.”

Glittermouse

Hi Chris_English. OK, I take your point which is very well made thank you.

I shall search my house and see if there is a spare notebook around. Erm, there probably is. I’m a stationary nerd but once I start a notebook I use to the very last page.  

my list of things to do money wise is certainly getting longer 🌺😀

moving_forward

I find keep reviewing the list and prioritising it helps me. By moving priorities around I can see if things are really a need right now or can wait. Making space in your budget for those things that matter to you is mega important. Just because books sweets and art stuff is not important to someone else doesn't mean theu aren't to you. You may not spend on other people's "must haves" like alcohol or holidays or experiences. It's YOUR budget and as long as you can afford it make room for treats. 

EssexHebridean

Ok - from what you've said about having money in your account meaning you tend to spend it, it sounds like the "pots" system that many on here use might work for you - and in your case, they probably need to be literal pots rather than virtual ones. (By this I mean using actual separate accounts for things rather than a system like some of the app based bank accounts that allows you to see things separately rather than them actually BEING separate). 

First step - take a look at the "open new account" section in your online banking - you're looking for the sort of savings accounts that link to a current account - they'll almost certainly offer next to no interest but don't worry about that right now. They may be called something like "e-saver" or similar - the key thing is that you can easily transfer money to and from them and that they are easy access. You need one for each thing that you must set money aside for regularly - we have lots, but some examples are car costs, holiday savings, household, christmas, clothing... You also need a second current account - one which you will use only for your "money available for spending" - everything else that is needed to cover priority bills, other direct debit bills, food etc stays in the original account. When you get paid, you transfer out everything that isn't required for the monthly bills (I'd suggest leaving an extra 10% behind for "just in case" situations) to the relevant savings pot, and your spending money goes to your new current account. That means you will be able to see at a glance what you have available for spur of the moment spending (I'd consider making that "spends" account one with a different provider to your other banking too - so when you open the app to look at it that is ALL the money you have). 

You might want to set up one account as a "tilly tidy" account - this could allow you to "sweep" the odd pennies from your current account balance across to savings once a day rounding down to the nearest pound - and THAT could be where you save for things like - for example - that shiny notebook you want. So yes, you can have it, but ONLY when there is  enough in the "sweeping" account to cover it - does that make sense? 

I think you also need to start learning some money mantras (Take a look at the main MSE site for Martin's mantras)  - and also to insist that you give yourself a designated amount of thinking time before spending on ANYTHING that isn't already in your budget. When you food shop, write a list and only buy the things on that list - if you see something else and think "Oh that'd be nice" then initially you walk away - if you still want it by the following week's shop, and you have rejigged your food budget to be able to afford it, then fine. Chances are that most of the time you'll forget all about it though! 

Hopefully these are some ideas that might help - the key one is a Statement of Affairs and then a budget though - without that you're rudderless - they key to ALL of this is to know what needs to go out, and how much is coming in, and make sure the figure for the first is lower than the figure for the second.  I spent years with my head in the sand telling myself that I was "bad with money" but ultimately the truth was I was just too lazy to learn. Yes, I'm bad at maths, but that absolutely doesn't have to also mean I am "bad with money" - and now I'm proud of being someone who is in control of my money rather than it controlling me. Learning the lessons is SO worthwhile!