Spousal maintenance/pension sharing

Ratita_Presumida

My marriage broke down 2016, we both remained good friends because of this a divorce was never mentioned! 

Im 48 & my husband (separated) is 2 years away from retirement probably 63 I would imagine.
He has a well paid job & a very good company pension, I myself have an illness so relying on Disability benefits!
My ex pays my TV licence & my mobile phone contract! Occasionally he will organise a food delivery when I’m struggling. 

My friendship with him means a lot to me so taking away half his pension would upset me plus spousal payments would effect him financially although he does earn £85,000 yearly.

A week ago I received a message telling me he wants a divorce because he doesn’t want me taking away his hard earned money simply because he will struggle with renting his house etc

I am panicking now because am I doing the right thing not asking for financial help. I feel I can’t sign a clean break like he wants me too! We are best friends although we live over 100 miles away we still talk on the phone!

Am I making a massive mistake not asking for financial help. I will inherit his private pension should he dies

The message was very clear that he doesn’t want me getting a penny! Was our friendship a means for him to keep me sweet? Grooming me to feel terrible should I seek a financial court order

What would you do

74jax

How long were you married?

EDIT - in your previous thread you couldn't remember, did you ever talk to him as suggested in that thread about your date of marriage or his pensions? What was the outcome? 
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/6254909/entitlement-when-seperated/p1 

tacpot12

You need legal advice from a solicitor. If you are careful, this should not cost to much - perhaps a couple of thousand pounds. Find a good solicitor and take their advice.

TBagpuss

There are lots of options between having half and not having anything a t all. Given the age difference you may well not be entitled to half his pension, presumably some of it was built up before you and he started your relationship, and as you are much younger, any share that you might have would then build up for a time before you started drawing it.

Go and see a solicitor and get some advice about what you might legally be entitled to, and start from there.

Many family solicitors offer a free first appointment so while they won't be able to give you detailed advice, if you go to the meeting with a note of when you started to live together, when you married, and when you separated, and a rough idea of what the assets are, they should be able to give you a steer

it may well be that it would be reasonable, and possible, for him to raise a ump sum that might enable you to have a bit more security, without causing him any significant hardship. 

If he paid you maintenance this would need to be declared so check www.entitledto.co.uk to see how it would affect your benefits. Also consider what would improve your situation - a small lump sum so you have some emergency savings (again, check how this would impact your benefits)? A pension share to give you some security in retirement? A larger lump sum if this would allow you to buy a shared ownership property so you have security (if you are not currently in a HA or council property or property that you own) 

london21

Depends on a lot of factors. How long you were married etc,.

Best to seek legal advice.