Unfair disciplinary options

[Deleted User]

Is this new role with the same or different employer?

H3lpplease

It’s caused a lot of distress and they’ve strung this out since mid December I’m sure you can appreciate living with a situation where the likely outcome is going to lead to a difficult year whether that’s losing the job she wanted and this job as well or whether she is tied into a company that is making her I’ll and won’t let her leave. If this was a relationship it would be called abuse 

kazwookie

If the employer is as toxic as you are suggesting, the sooner she leaves the better, even if she does loose her dream job, she can do temping work in the mean time.

H3lpplease

Good idea kazwookie that has given me a thought that will help us sleep tonight:)  arctic ghost, it’s a different employer and a complete change of career path

Brie

I agree with what @Jillanddy said.  But would add the following.  Most disciplinary situations that I've seen (been both sides...) state that time must be given to get someone to accompany the accused to the meeting.    As stated a work colleague (doesn't sound like many would be willing given the circumstances) or a union rep (assuming she's in a union?) but often another neutral third party would be acceptable.  NOT a family member (so not you) but maybe a friend?  

Some situations where no one is available or won't be available at a convenient time might mean that the meeting can be recorded - which would be easy enough to do with many smart phones.  It would be necessary to be clear that that this is for reference purposes so that what is said can be recalled with accuracy.  If the employer offers to record the meeting your wife should agree on the basis that she can record it as well.  If a recording can't be done then someone needs to scribe and provide your wife with a copy of the notes which she may or may not agree are accurate.

The other thing I would suggest is that your wife (with your or someone else's assistance if necessary) write out a statement of events to take to the meeting.  Just a clear factual, unemotional list of facts...."on X date at Y pm I said this by which I meant that...." etc.  Nothing about alpha females or buses etc.  Should she not know what the actual bullying accusation is about then she should be allowed to be informed and then adjourn, possibly for a week according to company disciplinary rules, to recall and put together her defense.

H3lpplease

Great tips guys thank you. She has an offer but she’s waiting on her second jab and it won’t be official til that’s been done. It’s 99% hers as long as thats done due to the nature of who she will be working with. I’ve just found her in tears downstairs as apparently someone has been saying she’s been taking to someone in the office today which is impressive given she hasn’t been in there today. 

74jax

H3lpplease said:

Great tips guys thank you. She has an offer but she’s waiting on her second jab and it won’t be official til that’s been done. It’s 99% hers as long as thats done due to the nature of who she will be working with. I’ve just found her in tears downstairs as apparently someone has been saying she’s been taking to someone in the office today which is impressive given she hasn’t been in there today. 

Why would that make her cry?  If person A says to your wife 'oh I hear you spoke to person B today', then all your wife needs to say (if she wants) is 'no that must have been someone else, I haven't spoken to them today, but what was it you needed me for' (guessing that the person spoke to your wife for something). 

Just keep everything business related. 

Savvy_Sue

Brie said:

I agree with what @Jillanddy said.  But would add the following.  Most disciplinary situations that I've seen (been both sides...) state that time must be given to get someone to accompany the accused to the meeting.    As stated a work colleague (doesn't sound like many would be willing given the circumstances) or a union rep (assuming she's in a union?) but often another neutral third party would be acceptable.  NOT a family member (so not you) but maybe a friend?  

Some situations where no one is available or won't be available at a convenient time might mean that the meeting can be recorded - which would be easy enough to do with many smart phones.  It would be necessary to be clear that that this is for reference purposes so that what is said can be recalled with accuracy.  If the employer offers to record the meeting your wife should agree on the basis that she can record it as well.  If a recording can't be done then someone needs to scribe and provide your wife with a copy of the notes which she may or may not agree are accurate.

The other thing I would suggest is that your wife (with your or someone else's assistance if necessary) write out a statement of events to take to the meeting.  Just a clear factual, unemotional list of facts...."on X date at Y pm I said this by which I meant that...." etc.  Nothing about alpha females or buses etc.  Should she not know what the actual bullying accusation is about then she should be allowed to be informed and then adjourn, possibly for a week according to company disciplinary rules, to recall and put together her defense.

On being accompanied, it depends if this is a disciplinary hearing, or an investigation. There is no right to be accompanied at an investigation, although if you ask, a reasonable employer might well allow it.

However there are two and only two kinds of people the employer must allow to accompany someone at a grievance hearing: a work colleague, or an accredited trade union rep. The neutral 3rd party of which you speak would be a very generous concession by the employer. 

I agree that getting a factual and unemotional statement of events would be an excellent plan.