Can anyone advise me:(

sunshinebird12

Hi everyone 

I'm new here 
Hope everyone is well?
I have been scouring the Internet for 2 days now and I'm just lost
I'm a mother of 3 
2 with disabilities 
Over the last year and half since my partner lost his job money as been so tight but we learnt to get by on what we had 
It was a case most months of eating or heating the home 
But we made choices and we just got by but this month is just awful we have 24p in our account we are close to using up our electricity and gas 
We have phone so many food banks and local authority they only supply dry foods with long sell by dates but due to my youngest child's autism sensory issues he only as a set few foods he will eat 
My local authority was rude and said he will eat anything if he is that hungry and told me I should accept what food were are given 
But if this person had one day in the life with a child with severe autism that comment would never of left his mouth 
I feel so sad and felt like I was been ungrateful 
I was told that they can't help with gas and electricity codes for our meters but our supplier said because we have had codes given 3 times in a 12 month period they can't help us which sadly we have had to request that many in the last 12 months 
I'm so lost
My house as been trashed due to my sons meltdown because we didn't have the food in he wanted I'm so broken 
I just need anyone to guide me to where I can go or who else to ring
I'm full of shame and embarrassment 
How life can change in such a short space of time due to a virus (my partner lost his job due to the pandemic) and due to having 2 children with high needs he can't even begin to start looking again till we have a plan in place for school for our son

Any help advice or guidance will be so greatly appreciated 

poppy12345

My first thoughts are, are you claiming all the benefits you're entitled to? Do you currently claim any benefits, if so which ones?

Do you claim DLA or PIP for your children that have disabilites?

Alice_Holt

That would be also be my first thought.

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/contact-us/contact-us/

https://www.citizensadvice.org.uk/benefits/

https://contact.org.uk/help-for-families/information-advice-services/

poppy12345

When you go to a food bank, their only concern is to provid you with enough of basics to eat and i know this doesn't help you. I understand the Autism and sensory part too because my daughter will also only eat certain foods. For the gas and electric tokens there's only a maximum amount you can have in 12 months and i think food banks are the same.

Do you have family that can help?

sunshinebird12

Thank you all for taking the time to reply to my post 

We are claiming something called universal credit and child benefit 
We didn't know anything about dla till my sons pediatrician informed us we really need to do a form for that as his needs are high 
We have recently sent off for the forms and she said she will do us a report for them 

I only get universal credit for 2 children as one was born after April 2017

We do really appreciate what the food bank gave us 
But it just leaves 2 children with nothing which is sad I really wish they would eat basic food but one child is none verbal and when giving food he doesn't like it creates a meltdown
His food seems to be colour and textured issues rather than taste his pediatrician as referred him to the dietitian due to him been very low weight and pale but we can't even get vitamins in his meals:(

poppy12345

Have you started a DLA claim for both disabled children? Though it's not awarded based on any diagnosis. You need to prove they need more care and attention than that of a child the same age who doesn't have a disability. Backlogs for this are quite long at the moment so a decision may take several months.

Have you used a benefits calculator to check your UC is correct? https://www.entitledto.co.uk/benefits-calculator/Intro/Home?cid=8d4c8eea-9871-4afd-a1fc-bebedc578117

It can be very diffficult to live on benefits alone, especially with disabled children. I hope your DLA claim for them is a success, though this doesn't help you now. If it is then depending on what the award is your UC may increase.

In the meantime do you have family that can help? Please also check out the links that Alice posted.

Spoonie_Turtle

This isn't tangible help, but when dealing with agencies assisting, make sure they know that your sons' sensory/food needs are exactly that, needs.  It's not what they want or like, it's what they can eat, and if they don't get food that they can eat then they simply cannot eat it, it's not a choice. 

So many people in society (and sadly that includes trained professionals) misunderstand autism and sensory needs so using that kind of language is necessary for them to accept that these things aren't a choice, it's a literal (sensory) intolerance and will make them ill if they try to eat it, much like digestive intolerances.  It may not help you get the food you need, but it might help to change the horrible attitudes you've faced.  You are NOT ungrateful, you are trying to meet your sons' needs just like all the other parents there.

The CAB for your local area might be able to find out if there's any specialised help beyond the basic food bank, e.g. if there's any sort of provision for help with dietary needs (which this is, for your sons, the cause may be different from what people normally think of but the overall effect is the same).  It may be worth asking the schools as well, any local disability or autism services, anyone you can think of.  

If you haven't already seen them, Thrifty Lesley and The Bootstrap Cook are good websites for genuinely cheap recipes; I'm not so familiar with Thrifty Lesley but The Bootstrap Cook recipes use a lot of the sorts of food the food banks provide.  It may not be much help for feeding your sons but the rest of you are important too.

Also there's an app Olio which is for food sharing when people have surplus - I've never tried it myself, no idea how well it works and I guess that depends on the location too, but it can't hurt to investigate anyway.  

Brie

ok so I'm no where near where you are in family needs so hopefully I can help without being a prat!!

have you talked to local autism groups - some can provide a wealth of support.  also talk to your food banks....I know they all have their script (like the council does) but if you can connect with an individual they will treat you like a person with certain needs and concerns.  

I can't tell from a quick scan what your/your partner's employment status is.  Is there any assistance available via work?  some industries have a marvellous network of assistance available.   

Qtipps44

Hi,

im so sorry to hear this. Where are you? I’m in scotland. Speak to school/nursery I know they often have welfare packages and can support. Local run food banks can help if you get to know them and speak to them. The one I help at sources gluten/diary free products and support famillies with specifics. Are health visitors able to signpost? ours refer to a no waste charity that provides toys/kids equipment. Are there any local FB pages offering free items.

as above make sure on a benefits checker you are getting all you are entitled to.
best wishes.