2022 Frugal Living Challenge

zafiro1984

We haven't done presents for the family for a number of years, much less stress.

When we were at work loads of things came into the practice, the booze was shared around the staff, biscuits/chocolates were horded away and each Friday a box was opened at coffee time. There were years when these 'boxes' lasted until well past Easter.

Since retiring and moving to the other side of the country we have a different type of friends, life has slowed down and these friends matter. 
So this year it's jams and chutneys but unusual ones, the sort you can't buy in the supermarket. The main ingredients are off our land with some 'donations' from friends. I've made the Christmas cards as well. 

I've already done the spiced pear chutney and rhubarb and ginger jam. 
The rosehips are prepped and in the freezer ready for Rosehip and Orange Marmalade.
The crab apples are picked and prepped ready for jelly, but I'll also make some chutney with the leftovers for us. 
The medlars at the moment are bletting (rotting) in the utility room. They will be turned into jelly or jam, again any leftovers will be chutney for us.
I've also made 'whiskey and ginger' liqueur and orange gin, small bottles will added to the presents.
All I have had to buy was sugar, a big piece of ginger and some cellophane, everything else - herbs-spices-jars-bottles-dried fruit-onions I already had, so, it's not cost a lot, except time. 

DH and I now put a ceiling on the cost of something we buy for reach other as we do enjoy opening something on the day.

mandy47

DH suggested to his siblings that maybe we should stop the pressies at xmas.
They were horrified. Loads of reasons were given as to why we should exchange gifts.
They are all better off than us due to inheritance from their inlaws. One issue is most of what they buy for us is given to charity shops or works raffle for charity. I don't wear jewellery but year on year I get tacky necklaces. DH gets books on subjects he has never shown any interest in or the most awful tee shirts in the wrong size. DDs are equally unsuitable. Last year she put them on olio.
I don't want to appear ungrateful but we listen and observe and hopefully buy more suitable gifts. I feel awful for sounding so ungrateful but I do wish we could stop this annual waste of time and money. I don't object to buying for the kids but they have 3 each, with expensive tastes, and we have only one who hasn't.
The worst one I received was a cheese hamper, I'm lactose sensitive, always have been.

We defiantly need to watch the pennies. Luckily my side of the family have agreed to a token gift, a bottle of wine or box of biscuits. Much friendlier on the purse and less stressful when it comes to shopping. 
I would rather we all went for coffee and a mince pie at the local coffee shop and actually spent time together.

Rant over.
 

fritzie-65

I am with you mandy47 my Sil has gifted for us over the years most ''unsuitable'' gifts and they end up all on Ebay every year, they have never been bought with thought , you can see her buying them with ''that will do attitude '' or to make up an order to cover free delivery. so I ended up refusing to buy her children anything and told DH to sort out gift vouchers if he wanted to '' make an effort '' last year we finally didn't receive or give.   

Primrose

Mandy.  I think the only way you stop this annual Christmas nightmare is to bite the bullet and say soon. " we,ve decided it,s time to stop exchanging Christmas presents from now on".  You only have to do this once and with the current economic climate the wind is really in your favour this year.  Just be honest and say. "We can,t afford it".    

Your relatives would have to be pretty thick skinned not to take the hint.  It,s always a  stressful nightmare sourcing gifts for those with vastly different income levels. Don,t let your relatives' affluence dictate the pace.  Just tell them your lifestyles and consumer habits are very different and you don't want the financial presssure of it any more.  And if your  husband' s siblings still protest, depute your husband to look after all the present buying and don,t get involved.   .  I reckon after one Christmas of suitable affordable present hunting  his enthusiasm for mutual present exchanging will rapidly wane!

joedenise

@mandy47 - why don't you just tell them that you will be taking them to the local coffee shop for a coffee and mince pie rather than buying a present!  Tell them that spending time together is far important to you than exchanging gifts.

We just give our DDs, their partners and grandchildren some money which they can then spend or put towards something that they want

London_1

Or do a special 'gift token' for a small job or place, or treat they might like, a few hours babysitting for a young couple, or mowing the lawn for a month for older folks or a free weekly car clean for a month or so Lots of jobs sometime find a chore others don't mind years ago when very very  broke I did my sil's ironing for a week. but never put yourself in debt just to please other people
If they get snotty then they really aren't worth wasting your cash on anyway. For a lot of people to spend a lot of cash then sit in doors in January in the cold because all their heating cash has gone is silly
With the price of fuel and food folk maybe would like the opportunity to cut back on stuff .Children are usually happy with lots of little things to unwrap. I have two small great granddaughters and I usually get them some cosy PJs plus a nice story book and maybe a clouring book and pencils They are 4 & 2 and love the actual opening as much as the gift I think.A tube of sweetseach and I doubt all their little odds and ends rarely come to more than about £10-15 each.
 My grandchildren are all grown and mostly flown I send dollars to my grandson in New York and his wife so they can buy what they want the postage is far too much for parcels. The boys I usually buy a jumoer or tee shirt and some smellies, and each of them love a Terrys choclate orange and they get one each all nicely wrapped .My daughters I usually ask them to give me some ideas for them and their husbands and I can usually budget out thins pretty well.
My problem is from the 26th November onwards I have 6 family birthdays before Christmas so its about streetching the cash that much further but I would definitely not overspend then stress about being cold in Jan/Feb

JackieO xx 

zafiro1984

From reading all the posts about Christmas presents I think this year will be 'crunch time' or 'honest time' for a lot of people. What's the point in spending a lot of money. Your nearest and dearest - and they needn't be your relatives - are the most important and they will understand. 

You never exactly know what is in other people's purses. I would imagine many put on a face and attitude that doesn't always match their income. Also, they may be cash poor but asset rich as you can't always judge people by the house or car they have. 

Time to have conversations, you never know they may be thinking exactly what you are thinking but haven't the guts to say so.  What's the saying - 'Keeping up with the Jones'  Not for me any more I left that life over 20yrs ago. 

basketcase

London_1 said:

My problem is from the 26th November onwards I have 6 family birthdays before Christmas so its about streetching the cash that much further but I would definitely not overspend then stress about being cold in Jan/Feb

JackieO xx 

When my son was about 10, he pointed out that he was really considerate having been born on 27 June as that meant I had exactly 6 months between his birthday and Christmas to save up for his presents.

How lucky was I, eh?

wort

@mandy47 I would let his sibling know now that YOU are no longer going to buy gifts this year for them, and you would prefer they do not buy for you, if they insist then ask for a donation to charity. That is then up to them. You can speak to them about it or send a note, saying it’s too expensive and you are in the process of minimalising your home. But really family should understand without explanation. Though I realize not every family is the same.

willow_loulou

Aah I’m sorry Christmas is still a bit of a tricky subject for some. 

I guess I’m so lucky to have a small amount of gifts to organise and love making decorations as gifts for my children. 

They’re adults but they love getting a new decoration each year. My aunt did this for me to build up my tree decorations. Most have succumbed to time but some remain. It’s a little core memory thing for me. 

I recently learned to craft felt so will be attempting a felt decoration. I’ve just done pumpkins which are cute. 

Found a fabulous book in a charity shop yesterday, called ‘ be your own garden doctor’ 50p! 

It’s got loads of really helpful info in it. A little step forward in my wish to be 25% self sufficient. ( I’m being practical- I live by the sea in a mid terrace lol)