Student Accomodation

lookstraightahead

pinkshoes said:

olgadapolga said:

Exactly. She's an adult. I'm already supporting her fully and I can't afford to bail her out for the rent as well. 

There's exactly no hope of the guarantors contacting me as I don't know them from Adam and even if they did somehow get in touch with me, they would be directed to my daughter.

Harsh as it may sound, it's not my problem. 

I just wanted to make her (and her dad, come to that) understand that her thoughts on this issue are legally and morally wrong. I am disgusted by her attitude to it. 

Morally, if I were in your shoes and my daughter refused to pay, I would pay it on her behalf so the guarantors didn't have to pay, then deduct the amount from her Christmas/Birthday presents or any sort of allowance until the debt was paid!

You are absolutely doing the right thing making her face up to her consequences. 

That's what I would do (which you've explained much better than me 🤣) - I'm not sure making the other guarantors pay is showing a good moral compass. 

Sometimes positive guidance works better, so long as there are consequences, and that includes getting your money back.

ccjs last for years on your record. Might be impossible to rent or get a mortgage etc.

olgadapolga

lookstraightahead said:

pinkshoes said:

olgadapolga said:

Exactly. She's an adult. I'm already supporting her fully and I can't afford to bail her out for the rent as well. 

There's exactly no hope of the guarantors contacting me as I don't know them from Adam and even if they did somehow get in touch with me, they would be directed to my daughter.

Harsh as it may sound, it's not my problem. 

I just wanted to make her (and her dad, come to that) understand that her thoughts on this issue are legally and morally wrong. I am disgusted by her attitude to it. 

Morally, if I were in your shoes and my daughter refused to pay, I would pay it on her behalf so the guarantors didn't have to pay, then deduct the amount from her Christmas/Birthday presents or any sort of allowance until the debt was paid!

You are absolutely doing the right thing making her face up to her consequences. 

That's what I would do (which you've explained much better than me 🤣) - I'm not sure making the other guarantors pay is showing a good moral compass. 

Sometimes positive guidance works better, so long as there are consequences, and that includes getting your money back.

ccjs last for years on your record. Might be impossible to rent or get a mortgage etc.

Whilst I can understand this viewpoint, I can't afford to bail her out and frankly, don't see why I should. I have explained to her the legal side of things, including the consequences of getting a CCJ and it's potential for wrecking things in the future. I have explained that the LL can ask the other guarantors to pay. She understands so as an adult she's making an informed choice about which path to take.

I have now explained it all to her dad as well, so I'm letting him deal with it as maybe she'll listen to him or maybe she'll persuade him to only see her point of view. Sadly she's quite good at manipulating him and usually runs to him when she wants something. Sad but true, unfortunately. I don't think she likes my approach to things!

lookstraightahead

olgadapolga said:

lookstraightahead said:

pinkshoes said:

olgadapolga said:

Exactly. She's an adult. I'm already supporting her fully and I can't afford to bail her out for the rent as well. 

There's exactly no hope of the guarantors contacting me as I don't know them from Adam and even if they did somehow get in touch with me, they would be directed to my daughter.

Harsh as it may sound, it's not my problem. 

I just wanted to make her (and her dad, come to that) understand that her thoughts on this issue are legally and morally wrong. I am disgusted by her attitude to it. 

Morally, if I were in your shoes and my daughter refused to pay, I would pay it on her behalf so the guarantors didn't have to pay, then deduct the amount from her Christmas/Birthday presents or any sort of allowance until the debt was paid!

You are absolutely doing the right thing making her face up to her consequences. 

That's what I would do (which you've explained much better than me 🤣) - I'm not sure making the other guarantors pay is showing a good moral compass. 

Sometimes positive guidance works better, so long as there are consequences, and that includes getting your money back.

ccjs last for years on your record. Might be impossible to rent or get a mortgage etc.

Whilst I can understand this viewpoint, I can't afford to bail her out and frankly, don't see why I should. I have explained to her the legal side of things, including the consequences of getting a CCJ and it's potential for wrecking things in the future. I have explained that the LL can ask the other guarantors to pay. She understands so as an adult she's making an informed choice about which path to take.

I have now explained it all to her dad as well, so I'm letting him deal with it as maybe she'll listen to him or maybe she'll persuade him to only see her point of view. Sadly she's quite good at manipulating him and usually runs to him when she wants something. Sad but true, unfortunately. I don't think she likes my approach to things!

Sounds like there's more to it than this one issue.

Good luck with everything.

Marvel1

lookstraightahead said:

Marvel1 said:

eddddy said:

olgadapolga said:
I am not a guarantor (nor is my husband)...

...the tenancy was jointly and several ....
...whereas the other occupants all have guarantors. 

So that means that all the other guarantors are guarantors for your daughters rent.

Landlords will sometimes let one or two tenants get away with having no guarantor - if they already have lots of other guarantors. (So you may not have needed to offer 3 months rent in advance.)


So you might get some grief from all the guarantors, if they're asked to pay your daughter's rent.

Just ignore if they ask you, as it's not you, it's your daughter. 

That's nice 😳. So ignore the other parents who are going to end up paying for the op's daughter. 

I had no choice but to be a guarantor along with 5 other parents, unless DD lived in a hovel. Thankfully all paid rent.

Op, I agree with your sentiment. I have a daughter a bit older than you. However, I would probably end up paying it because it will really come back to haunt her if you're not careful. And maybe she's listening too much to bad advice. I know this is not right, but maybe it would be better for your own peace of mind. My daughter in student days sometimes had too much month left at the end of the money. Believe me after putting her right ourselves she has learnt from it, and at 22 and working full time living independently has a spreadsheet of her income and outgoings. The lesson might be the best thing - show her how she should behave. Maybe! 

What i mean is the OP has tried but daughter is not listening, she is old enough and the parents should go after the daughter for the money, her mistake.

If OP bails them out then the daughter with her attitude has learnt nothing.

lookstraightahead

Marvel1 said:

lookstraightahead said:

Marvel1 said:

eddddy said:

olgadapolga said:
I am not a guarantor (nor is my husband)...

...the tenancy was jointly and several ....
...whereas the other occupants all have guarantors. 

So that means that all the other guarantors are guarantors for your daughters rent.

Landlords will sometimes let one or two tenants get away with having no guarantor - if they already have lots of other guarantors. (So you may not have needed to offer 3 months rent in advance.)


So you might get some grief from all the guarantors, if they're asked to pay your daughter's rent.

Just ignore if they ask you, as it's not you, it's your daughter. 

That's nice 😳. So ignore the other parents who are going to end up paying for the op's daughter. 

I had no choice but to be a guarantor along with 5 other parents, unless DD lived in a hovel. Thankfully all paid rent.

Op, I agree with your sentiment. I have a daughter a bit older than you. However, I would probably end up paying it because it will really come back to haunt her if you're not careful. And maybe she's listening too much to bad advice. I know this is not right, but maybe it would be better for your own peace of mind. My daughter in student days sometimes had too much month left at the end of the money. Believe me after putting her right ourselves she has learnt from it, and at 22 and working full time living independently has a spreadsheet of her income and outgoings. The lesson might be the best thing - show her how she should behave. Maybe! 

What i mean is the OP has tried but daughter is not listening, she is old enough and the parents should go after the daughter for the money, her mistake.

If OP bails them out then the daughter with her attitude has learnt nothing.

Ok, sorry 👍

Pixie5740

olgadapolga said:

Marvel1 said:

I would leave your daughter to it, you tried, only way now is she learns actions have consequences.

Exactly. She's an adult. I'm already supporting her fully and I can't afford to bail her out for the rent as well. 

There's exactly no hope of the guarantors contacting me as I don't know them from Adam and even if they did somehow get in touch with me, they would be directed to my daughter.

Harsh as it may sound, it's not my problem. 

I just wanted to make her (and her dad, come to that) understand that her thoughts on this issue are legally and morally wrong. I am disgusted by her attitude to it. 

What delightful attitudes from the whole family. 

It’s surprisingly easy to track someone down if one were so minded and if I were the landlord or a guarantor that ended up out of pocket because of your daughter I would track the little !!!!!! down and I would take her to court to recover the money. 

Good luck to her if she ever tries to rent somewhere again next year with a CCJ and two parents who refuse to guarantee her. 

lookstraightahead

Pixie5740 said:

olgadapolga said:

Marvel1 said:

I would leave your daughter to it, you tried, only way now is she learns actions have consequences.

Exactly. She's an adult. I'm already supporting her fully and I can't afford to bail her out for the rent as well. 

There's exactly no hope of the guarantors contacting me as I don't know them from Adam and even if they did somehow get in touch with me, they would be directed to my daughter.

Harsh as it may sound, it's not my problem. 

I just wanted to make her (and her dad, come to that) understand that her thoughts on this issue are legally and morally wrong. I am disgusted by her attitude to it. 

What delightful attitudes from the whole family. 

It’s surprisingly easy to track someone down if one were so minded and if I were the landlord or a guarantor that ended up out of pocket because of your daughter I would track the little !!!!!! down and I would take her to court to recover the money. 

Good luck to her if she ever tries to rent somewhere again next year with a CCJ and two parents who refuse to guarantee her. 

My daughter lived in a house of 7 so stakes were high that one wouldn't pay their rent. But all parents acted as guarantors. One student had to leave the accommodation as there was a bereavement in the family, but he paid up in full before he left (or probably his parents did).