Bought house and regretting it

Crashy_Time

aoleks said:

Crashy_Time said:

Sunsaru said:

For 20 plus years I wanted my own house. The day i got my keys I walked into the house and thought

"What the frig have I done??"

Took me about 3 months for it to sink in. I'm now 8 months in and have sunk 5 figures into the property with another 5 planned. No regrets.

Do you think there is a possibility that you bought at the wrong time?

Do you think there’s a poasibility you sold at the wrong time? :-)

When do you think I sold?

NP09

On the basis of "don't try to eat an elephant whole", I would start*** by setting up a "running list" (I like a spreadsheet myself), and allocate priorities to each thing that needs doing. 

One decision priority-wise might be "which room is most important to me / do I need most / will I spend most time in?" - then within that project, prioritise what needs doing first to begin to make it habitable and comfortable, then next, and so on for that room.
By putting the projects & tasks on a list you can mentally shelve all the non-immediate things so they don't overwhelm.
After a relatively short while you might be able to move in and at least enjoy the first room, even if it's the living room with a bed in it temporarily - unless you want to rent longer term.  Either way, I'd still take the approach of break it all down into chunks, prioritise them, and chunk them down further into tasks, prioritising and ordering those as well.  And mentally shelve stuff onto that list - the ideas/tasks won't get "lost" so you can forget them once they're on the list and focus on the "now" - they'll just be sitting patiently waiting their turn :-)

As time goes on, you might discover further things that need doing - you can just add them to the list in the same way - and "shelve" until you're ready to tackle them.  Unless there's something really fundamental, like you discover a leak - in which case you Review the priorities / Revise your lists - and crack on with the thing that has now worked its way to the top (or crack on, knowing the next thing you'll do is review the list!)

***But I totally comprehend how emotionally hard this is - the shock of realisation amongst other things.  And if it were me, I might struggle to take my own advice, and need a good shoulder to cry on!  It can feel overwhelming, so it's about finding a way to get back from that sense of overwhelm to a sense of "I can do x at least"... and it all begins with that first step.  And don't be afraid to prioritise "time out" as needed too.   I hope you've got good friends to support you emotionally, practically, in whatever way each is best at.

Good luck! 

Crashy_Time

Just sell it, before mortgage rates move up, get the best price you can.

lisyloo

Crashy_Time said:

aoleks said:

Crashy_Time said:

Sunsaru said:

For 20 plus years I wanted my own house. The day i got my keys I walked into the house and thought

"What the frig have I done??"

Took me about 3 months for it to sink in. I'm now 8 months in and have sunk 5 figures into the property with another 5 planned. No regrets.

Do you think there is a possibility that you bought at the wrong time?

Do you think there’s a poasibility you sold at the wrong time? :-)

When do you think I sold?

How much has your rent cost you since?

NameUnavailable

andy444 said:

How anybody bought a house and very quickly regretted purchasing it? I recently bought a new house and frankly I'm having real doubts about whether I want to continue here.

There is a lot more work to renovate here than I first realised. I knew there'll need to be some updating decor required but it's now crystallised to me that I will have to spend thousands of pounds to get this place to how I want it.

I was in a fortunate position where I had two bids accepted on the same day on two separate houses and I opted for this house and frankly I wish I had gone for the other. It was a newer build that had been done up to a fair standard.

It is so cold in this house and I'm not particularly looking forward to rarely being warm here this winter. I'm thinking maybe I could rent this place out and ask my former housemate if I could move back in with him and rent whilst I consider my next option. Just feeling a bit glum at the moment.

Thank you for starting this thread! I just completed on my purchase and had the same glum feelings.

I'm not ready to move in just yet, the new place is 50 miles from where I am now and I'd decided to move in around new year, but thought I'd try and do some work to the place while it was empty. I 'camped' there for 4 days and found a number of issues I'd not spotted when viewing.

It's in an area I really like, and to afford something there I made a number of major compromises on the property I wanted. This is about as opposite to what I wanted as you can get so again that is making me wonder !!!!!! have I just done!

Although I had expected to spend a bit of money on getting some electrics done and maybe a bit of decor, I'm now spending 4X that having the place fully redecorated (apart from kitchen and bathroom). I figured I'd swallow the cost for the convenience and hopefully I'll feel much more positive when I move in. I had plans to tackle the dated kitchen/bathroom later in any case.

A house purchase/move is such a huge event in our lives I think it's quite normal to have some doubts but ultimately if it turns out to have been a wrong move then it can be fixed in time by moving again, costly though that is.

It sounds like you can add value to the property, as I'm doing, so if nothing else see it as a chance to do that and sell for more, if it comes to it.

Hopefully we'll both settle in, especially as Spring comes, and will wonder why we ever had doubts at all!

aoleks

Crashy_Time said:

Just sell it, before mortgage rates move up, get the best price you can.

Or maybe just kewp it, keep calm and start liking the property that will be worth much, much more in a few years’ time.

MysteryMe

It can feel overwhelming, I think many have felt similar to you but it passes. Winter time is a difficult time to get started, natural light is limited and the weather is bad so few are feeling energized. Concentrate on small chunks of works at a time. It's OK to take temporary measures. If you are cold now, you can buy cheap to run heaters, get an electric blanket  or electric throw. All can make a big difference for a small outlay.

ChasingtheWelshdream

It can definitely feel overwhelming, but try not to focus on the 'one that got away'. There is a reason you bought this one, some kind of feeling, something that sparked. Yes financially, but also something else that made you go 'yep, this one please'. Find that reason an and revisit it often.

Our original purchase fell through on the day of exchange and we ended up in one we had originally rejected because of the amount of work needed. I cried the night we moved in. It was so hard in the beginning not to keep comparing to the one we thought we were buying.

But, I also remembered viewing this house initially and just knowing it would be amazing if someone were to put the time and effort in. There was one particular spot in the hallway where I stood and could imagine exactly how I would make it were I to own in. Although at that first viewing I knew we wouldn't be making an offer, I actually wished we could. Little did we know we would be moving in within 6 months, and it was barely habitable.

5 years in, I recently stood in the same particular spot and realised I have nearly finished the entrance hallway I always wanted. The spark is still there. Even though there is still tons of work to do and we have very little budget (unexpected roof replacement), I have no regrets. And the location, layout and finished house definitely trumps the one that got away - which I walk past frequently.

One thing that would really help is to photograph everything as you go. It's so easy to forget how much you do over the weeks/months/years. I recently found photos of when we moved in and had completely forgotten how much work we have actually done. It actually buoyed me up when I was getting despondent about lack of money to finish something. I looked at how that room once was (literally just a sink on bricks!) and thought 'wow, we did that. We did all of that'. It put the bare bricks and horrid floor I can't yet afford to replace into context.

And as others have said, take your time. Do one room at a time. Get a cozy nook where you can sit and relax. Acknowledge it will be a long haul and plan accordingly, which also means plenty of fun time imagining how it will be - look at magazines, Pintrest etc. You may well change your ideas and plans as you go, so not rushing to do everything at once may actually be a good thing. Keep a vision in mind and give yourself a big pat on the back for each bit you do, however small.

Things like the temperature may need a period of adjustment, but you will soon not notice it. Our house is definitely colder than newer properties, but I'm rarely too cold. I have no issue layering jumpers and snuggling blankets. In fact I find other houses too warm and stifling now, I'm not used to sitting in t-shirts. 

And finally, unless you really have bought a complete wreck, remember the previous owners were living quite happily as it was. I think it is very easy to get carried away with magazines and TV programmes suggesting things like woodchip and artex are so horrendous and dated they must be removed immediately to live in 2021. They don't. They may not be our choice today, but they are not urgent and can be freshened up quite easily and cheaply as they are. Whilst you save up for a plasterer a room at a time. 

I hope you may be feeling a little better after reading everyone's experiences? :-)

olgadapolga

ChasingtheWelshdream said:

It can definitely feel overwhelming, but try not to focus on the 'one that got away'. There is a reason you bought this one, some kind of feeling, something that sparked. Yes financially, but also something else that made you go 'yep, this one please'. Find that reason an and revisit it often.

Our original purchase fell through on the day of exchange and we ended up in one we had originally rejected because of the amount of work needed. I cried the night we moved in. It was so hard in the beginning not to keep comparing to the one we thought we were buying.

But, I also remembered viewing this house initially and just knowing it would be amazing if someone were to put the time and effort in. There was one particular spot in the hallway where I stood and could imagine exactly how I would make it were I to own in. Although at that first viewing I knew we wouldn't be making an offer, I actually wished we could. Little did we know we would be moving in within 6 months, and it was barely habitable.

5 years in, I recently stood in the same particular spot and realised I have nearly finished the entrance hallway I always wanted. The spark is still there. Even though there is still tons of work to do and we have very little budget (unexpected roof replacement), I have no regrets. And the location, layout and finished house definitely trumps the one that got away - which I walk past frequently.

One thing that would really help is to photograph everything as you go. It's so easy to forget how much you do over the weeks/months/years. I recently found photos of when we moved in and had completely forgotten how much work we have actually done. It actually buoyed me up when I was getting despondent about lack of money to finish something. I looked at how that room once was (literally just a sink on bricks!) and thought 'wow, we did that. We did all of that'. It put the bare bricks and horrid floor I can't yet afford to replace into context.

And as others have said, take your time. Do one room at a time. Get a cozy nook where you can sit and relax. Acknowledge it will be a long haul and plan accordingly, which also means plenty of fun time imagining how it will be - look at magazines, Pintrest etc. You may well change your ideas and plans as you go, so not rushing to do everything at once may actually be a good thing. Keep a vision in mind and give yourself a big pat on the back for each bit you do, however small.

Things like the temperature may need a period of adjustment, but you will soon not notice it. Our house is definitely colder than newer properties, but I'm rarely too cold. I have no issue layering jumpers and snuggling blankets. In fact I find other houses too warm and stifling now, I'm not used to sitting in t-shirts. 

And finally, unless you really have bought a complete wreck, remember the previous owners were living quite happily as it was. I think it is very easy to get carried away with magazines and TV programmes suggesting things like woodchip and artex are so horrendous and dated they must be removed immediately to live in 2021. They don't. They may not be our choice today, but they are not urgent and can be freshened up quite easily and cheaply as they are. Whilst you save up for a plasterer a room at a time. 

I hope you may be feeling a little better after reading everyone's experiences? :-)

I can concur with most of this post but the woodchip would definitely have to go 😁

Moving into a new property can be so disappointing. We'd looked for a house for a long time, found one that DH loved; I wasn't in the same place emotionally as he was but felt that it would do as I wanted my own home again (we'd been in a horrible rental for ten years).

We had a month between buying the house and moving out of the rental, so thought that this gave us a couple of weeks to do some decorating, get carpets fitted etc., before we needed to think about moving in. How wrong was I! We got the bedrooms done, moved onto downstairs and found loads of things wrong that had been missed by the surveyor. One of which was a damp wall in the living room. It took over a year to sort out. We lived in a building site for over a year, it was awful. I was so upset. I thought that I'd hate this house forever, especially as it was in an area I said that I'd never move to.

We've been here two and a half years now and I love the place. New kitchen, windows and doors, recarpeted throughout, redecorated. Just the bathroom and hall/stairs/landing to do now. There's some outside stuff as well, like a new driveway but we're getting there. I now have my home, my safe place. And the house is in the nicer part of the area I said that I'd never move to, with lovely neighbours. I've not been able to say that before, in 33 years of being independent from my parents!

chucknorris

Crashy_Time said:

aoleks said:

Crashy_Time said:

Sunsaru said:

For 20 plus years I wanted my own house. The day i got my keys I walked into the house and thought

"What the frig have I done??"

Took me about 3 months for it to sink in. I'm now 8 months in and have sunk 5 figures into the property with another 5 planned. No regrets.

Do you think there is a possibility that you bought at the wrong time?

Do you think there’s a poasibility you sold at the wrong time? :-)

When do you think I sold?

I did have a good idea based on previous conversations with you, but I have forgotten now (it was a long time ago), but I think it was in the late 90's and if so, it was definitely 'the wrong time' (to leave the housing market). At the time (when you referred to it) I had the opinion that you were relieved to have got out unscathed after enduring years of negative equity, I realise that can be very uncomfortable, but it only matters when you sell. If it was the late 90's you did miss out on significant HPI, but of course hindsight is an exact science. And of course people sell for a variety of reasons, after all it was your home rather than merely an investment.