Missy’s Surviving the storm so we can dance in the rain.

RelievedSheff

Buying ready made stuff for a roast will I'm sure work out far more expensive than buying fresh vegetables. Fresh veg is really cheap.

A bit of prep time and a bit of cleaning up time is free!

mumtoomany

Hi, missy. We too have money at all different times. Each month we get three, very small, private pensions. Each week working tax credit. These together come to around £685 per month. On to of this we get irregular income. So money from DD1 when we have the children(when they are both working), income from selling eggs and vegetables,(only really in summer) money when we sell lambs or ewes.(once or twice a year) Budgeting was a nightmare, especially as there is not much to budget. My solution had been to spend the guaranteed income on needs, utilities, car expenses, animal feed etc, food and groceries, savings. Anything else comes from the earned/extra money.(the wants) presents, diy, trips out, eating out, hobbies, etc. This way i know the important stuff is paid for first. 
I also look at everything we spend money on and if 1. We need it and 2. We can get it for less/pay less for it. So food, as an example. Grandchildrens pack lunch. Sandwich, can I buy reduced bread and freeze it? It's ham cheaper than cheese? Would another brand of ham be cheaper? Carrot sticks, made at home, or cucumber are both much cheaper than blueberries or strawberries. Home made popcorn costs pennies. Multipacks of crisps work out at less than10p a bag at Aldi. Home made cakes are cheaper than shop bought. Squash or water in a refillable container is cheaper than a carton. And so on.
Hope some of this helps, hugs, mumtoomany.xxx ps parcel in the post!

missymoo81

Morning,

I hope you’re all ok, I’m ok, super tired today. Need just a bit more sleep. Have my friend and her 3 month old twins coming today, which will be wonderful.

So I am yet to go to a cafe. But We will stop at coffee shop on way home from school today as a treat, but I have free coffees on my card so will only cost £1.10 for baby chinos and no cakes, there’s a big outside area so will be lovely in the sun. 

Not much to report really. 

Thanks @mumtoo@mumtoomany 🥰

Bluegreen143

There’s nothing wrong with going to a coffee shop BUT in the interest of problem solving different cheaper habits. 

Yesterday I took ice cold fresh home made smoothies to meet the kids from school/nursery and we went to the playpark in the sun. It felt like a real treat for us all and didn’t cost. You can bring a coffee/tea in a flask if you prefer.

Again just I think we get in the mindset we need to spend money for a treat or to have family time. I know my kids would rather go to the park though, it’s usually us adults who drive the spending if we’re honest with ourselves. 

missymoo81

Happy Mother’s Day to all the wonderful mums out there! You’re doing an amazing job even though often it feels like you’re struggling. You’re doing just fine.

Much love

x

Bluegreen143

Happy Mother’s Day @missymoo81! Hope you get to do something fun or relaxing today - you deserve it 😘

Four_Seasons

Hope you are ok Missy x

missymoo81

Hi,

Thanks so much for checking in @Four_Seasons. I’m ok. But if I’m honest we’ve got to the point of hitting rock bottom now. We had the very real conversation last night, (after both working very long days) of having to get a PAYE job. As business is still flailing despite both putting in a lot of hours and in 6 years of running it OH has said it is the worst it has ever been, down to covid and us being 30% down on members as a result and because of the huge tax bills between us, amounting to tens of thousands of £s we just don’t have. This last one is £10k. And we’re going to have to pay it monthly but we don’t have a spare £850 or whatever it is a month!!!! I don’t know what the answer is?! OH is paying himself minimal to get through the month. He couldn’t afford to pay his half of the mortgage/bills last month at all because of the VAT was due too so I had to take it out of savings/course money of which there is very little left.

I don’t want to give up my life of being able to choose my hours and be off with the children in the school holidays etc, it would be so hard to juggle with ex working away all of the time if me and DH had normal full time jobs. I feel so sick about it all. DH is currently in London he was up at 5am and won’t get in until 9pm as he’s taken on some extra work but this is his third day of doing it, and he has another day of it tomorrow, he’s exhausted. I’ve got the children as it’s the holidays and I’m running the business today, so feel like I’m at a loss.

I’m so sorry for the long post. Just feel a little broken.

Four_Seasons

Oh Missy while its good to hear from you, its not the best situation you are in.  Would it be possible for one of you to get a regular job and the other carry on with the business, perhaps on reduced hours, sorry if that has already been discussed.
Please keep posting, a trouble shared etc., you have so many friends on here.  take care, big hugs x

Bluegreen143

@missymoo81

Take this with a pinch of salt but I genuinely think self employment is way overrated for allowing flexibility to be with kids etc. I feel that many of the people I know who are self employed are generally scraping by and yes maybe they can pick up their kids but they are often working evenings and weekends so it’s not as flexible as it’s made out to be.

Bear in mind that most office type jobs now offer some hybrid working or flexibility as standard and you might also find you earn more overall (not having to worry about tax bills, business costs, commuting if you WFH etc) so can afford to work part time.

My hours are Mon-Thu, 8.30-3, working from home except one day in the office weekly, and I am there to pick my kids up everyday from school and preschool with no need for extra childcare on top. Once I finish at 3 I’m done for the day (well except on office days as I need to leave a bit early so I work that back) and I get to spend that time WITH my kids, taking them to the park, baking with them etc - not having them with me while I work. It also makes cooking dinner easier because I’m not working in the evening.

We’ve managed to cover all the school holidays between us this year by taking two weeks unpaid parental leave each as well as our annual leave allowance so being a PAYE employee hasn’t hindered that (and of course if you used family or some summer childcare maybe you wouldn’t need to do that; but we wanted to be off with them ourselves). 

Red works FT and isn’t around for the school run which is why I work PT, but in his job (skilled manual type trade but employed not self employed) he works Mon-Fri and can be home anytime from 3-6.30pm depending when his work is done; but it’s very rare it’s later than 5.30pm, yesterday he was home at 3pm. Again he has no work to do in the evenings or weekend except tidy his van out occasionally. His van is provided by his employer so no expense there. And likewise my employer provides my equipment to work from home whereas I’d have to buy that if self employed. If Red worked self employed he would need to work weekends, evenings etc and would end up working many more hours than he does I think.

I just don’t see how the “flexibility” of being self employed would be able to give us a lifestyle where we are there for our kids more than we are currently? As they always have one of us with them (who isn’t working at the same time) from school pickup, often both of us if Red finishes early, we are both off all weekend and we’ve worked out a good system for school holidays. 

Maybe we could earn more self employed, I don’t know, but for reference Red earns £2,250ish each month after tax and I earn £1,500 and we are able to save well on our salaries just now, so even if we could earn more self employed I don’t think it would be worth having to stress about tax, juggle work in the evenings/weekends etc. Obviously if I worked FT I could earn more and it’s likely when Bambi goes to school I’ll increase my hours to work on a Friday too (so do a four day week but split it over five and finish at 3 every day). 

Feel free to totally ignore this of course! But I just see loads of people saying self employment is the way to go as they couldn’t manage the kids if in a PAYE job but as a working mum I just don’t see the benefits to the work life balance myself 🤷‍♀️ I really like just getting my job done then not thinking about work when I’m not there and using my evenings and weekends to live my own life! Just wanting to give you food for thought and hopefully assurance that a PAYE job doesn’t need to mean you can’t manage family life too.