Tackling disability issues at work

Jillanddy

DrDorset said:

Jillanddy said:

On what basis is this related to disability? You have provided no evidence of that. If this is true, there could be many reasons why people are not talking to him. And to be honest, if they were ok with him at first but have distanced themselves over a period of time, that would suggest that an obvious physical disability is not the cause of their actions, because if it were they would have been the same from the beginning. Perhaps there is a reason they don't want to socialise with him that has nothing to do with disability? This is, after all, a workplace, and you can't force people to be friends with you.

What evidence does he need to provide to you? He’s simply asking for advice.

I didn't ask for evidence. But if you want to claim that people are discriminating against you for being disabled then you do need evidence of that. There are people  i don't like and don't speak to much. None of them are disabled. They are just people that I don't like. Being disabled doesn't mean you are also a likeable person. Perhaps he's incompetent,  lazy or dislikeable. There's no evidence of that.  There's also no evidence of it being anything to do with disability. 

So my advice is - and was- what evidence is there that this has anything to do with disability?

Jillanddy

DrDorset said:

Dakta said:

Well at the end of the day the OP reports the situation with regards to colleagues isn't ideal, if there's nothing in the post to give some kind of reason why this has been associated with the disability, and we're discouraged from asking about the link I don't think there's a right lot we can do here.

It could just be that the user doesn't fit in and whilst an issue, not a disability one and needs dealing with in a different way.

This is very disappointing. 

You have a very low bar for disappointment. 

TELLIT01

Has your friend raised the situation with his boss?  Not being confrontational, just saying the people seem to be more 'remote' than when he started and he wonders why that is.  Some people do have trouble coping with disability, but that's not likely to be true for all the other staff members.  If everybody is distancing themselves, your friend does need to look to themself to see if anything they are doing, or not doing, could be part of the cause.

geek84

Good Morning Folks

Many thanks indeed for your responses.

When asked, my friend did state that as far as he can remember, he hasn't done anything tp offend or upset the staff in the office.

He has spkken to the line manger, but nothing seems to have changed.

unforeseen

However. although the staff were ok with him at first, they gradually started distancing themselves from him and now they hardly talk to him

That definitely sounds like it is something that OP's friend is causing as it was a gradual thing for (presumably) all or most of the staff to distance themselves over a period.

If people don't want to interact with him then there is nothing the line manager can do about it. You can't force people to include somebody. Attempting to do so will only cause resentment. 

Jillanddy

I still think that he has shown no basis to say that this has arisen as a result of his disability. Simply being disabled doesn't mean that people have to like you; and just because he isn't aware of having "done" anything to alienate the others isn't the same things as not having done something. Unless he can point to something specific, it seems that all he has is that the other staff were ok with him at first but now rarely engage with him. As has been pointed out, you can't force people to like someone. If they are doing their jobs, and if their alleged behaviour is not interfering with performance, unless there is a specific allegation backed by evidence of something, there is very little that anyone could do about this. 

I know you have said that he has spoken to the line manager. But has he asked the line manager if they think there is a reason for it, rather than asking the line manager to "fix it"? Perhaps the line manager is unable to fix it because there is a reason? Equally, perhaps his perception of not being included is expecting too much. People go to work to earn money, not to make friends. Over time some people may become friends, others not. But other than suggesting that he isn't included, you haven't explained what "not included" looks like. Perhaps he is included to the extent that you might include someone you work with, but have no other relationship with. 

In the end there really isn't any information to go on here, so it is all guesswork.

pinkshoes

geek84 said:

Good Morning Folks

Many thanks indeed for your responses.

When asked, my friend did state that as far as he can remember, he hasn't done anything tp offend or upset the staff in the office.

He has spkken to the line manger, but nothing seems to have changed.

But perhaps they just don't like him as a person and nothing to do with his disability? 

If they were ok with him at first it would indicate they have no issue with disability, and perhaps just don't "gel" with him?

Just because you work somewhere, doesn't mean you're all going to become best of buddies. I've worked places where they just didn't like me. I'm not a bad person. I'm just not everyone's cup of tea. I can be rather blunt. 

Your friend should stop taking it so personally. Perhaps he should bring some biscuits into work to share and break the ice? 

Dakta

In a nutshell it needs to be established if this is actually a disability related matter, from what you've posted theres nothing to indicate that it is.

You don't have to provide any evidence to this on here, as the troll indicated earlier in the thread - but if you want anything to fly that is the point that  needs addressing.

On the information offered,  the issue is pretty much unactionable as the people at work might just have just taken a dislike to this person, not ideal but not a disability matter.

TELLIT01

I've certainly worked with plenty of people over the years where I would only interact with them when there was a business need, and that was purely because I didn't particularly like them for whatever reason.  There was one in particular who was the supposed expert in a certain area but if you asked him any question his first response was to make you feel stupid for not knowing.