Tackling disability issues at work

geek84

Good Morning folks

A friend of mine had a nasty road accident a few years ago.  This left him with a very weak right side of his body and as a result he cannot walk in a straight.  He has also developed some spasticity on his right side of the body.

Recently, he managed to secure an office job.  However. although the staff were ok with him at first, they gradually started distancing themselves from him and now they hardly talk to him.

How can this issue be addressed?  My friend says he wants to leave that job, bt he could face the same stuation in another job?

Any advice greatly appreciated.

Thank you.

Jillanddy

On what basis is this related to disability? You have provided no evidence of that. If this is true, there could be many reasons why people are not talking to him. And to be honest, if they were ok with him at first but have distanced themselves over a period of time, that would suggest that an obvious physical disability is not the cause of their actions, because if it were they would have been the same from the beginning. Perhaps there is a reason they don't want to socialise with him that has nothing to do with disability? This is, after all, a workplace, and you can't force people to be friends with you.

MovingForwards

Your friend can address it by speaking with them individually or as a group. It's playground behaviour, but an employer can't force people to talk.

He also needs to keep at the small talk, then people will begin to see him not the physical side.

A lot of time, some, people don't know how to speak with a disabled person or what to say. Which reflects on them not the disabled person.

It sounds like your friend works for a smaller company and is possibly the first physically disabled employee they've taken on.

Of course your friend could look for another role, even check what it has in place for assisting those with disabilities, however even then there's no guarantee as it's down to whether the manager understands, how they deal with things and the rest of the team.

Personally, after nearly 2 decades of it, and finally accepting this is me, I do take the stance of dealing with people.
I've had someone pass comments about me taking meds (not as polite as I've posted), looked them square in the eyes and say if I don't take them, I can't work.
Another time they pulled their back and asked loudly, in front of the whole office, why I work and don't claim benefits as they couldn't stand being in the pain they were, rather enjoyed replying to that one!
Inconsiderate people have put things on the floor for me to deal with, I've told them to put it on something waist height.
Being offered the bottom drawer for my files as 'it would be easier for me to get to'.

It's a shame in this day and age, but your friend has also had a life-changing event and that takes time to adjust. 

DrDorset

Jillanddy said:

On what basis is this related to disability? You have provided no evidence of that. If this is true, there could be many reasons why people are not talking to him. And to be honest, if they were ok with him at first but have distanced themselves over a period of time, that would suggest that an obvious physical disability is not the cause of their actions, because if it were they would have been the same from the beginning. Perhaps there is a reason they don't want to socialise with him that has nothing to do with disability? This is, after all, a workplace, and you can't force people to be friends with you.

What evidence does he need to provide to you? He’s simply asking for advice.

Dakta

And the user is simply giving it - saying there's nothing to suggest whats happening is happening because of disability. I'll be honest I thought the same, without something to suggest it's because of a disability then it might struggle as I've seen people get treated the same way for doing something unpopular or saying the wrong thing or even just for talking too little or too much.

Where was your advice?

The OP doesn't have to provide evidence but it'l be a useless thread without some pertinent info.

maisie_cat

I haven't worked in an office for years but I gather from my siblings that office environments are not what they used to be. Banter and joking are no longer allowed in case somebody gets offended and people are scared to inadvertently offend somebody so people just get on with their work.

Own_Worst_Enermy

Sometimes you just don't fit somewhere. Sorry.

I recently walked into a large organisation who I thought was a better move for more structure and support. WRONG. 
I was invisible in reality, and seemed an inconvenience. Nobody wanted to show me the job. Found myself tutted at within the first half hour. Fine; tut at me a week on if I'm not picking up the job but within first hour. 

2nd day forcing myself into the workplace, Manager has 2 minutes for me, during which it is admitted they've had a thoroughfare of people starting who couldn't cope with the job and ended up leaving. It went someway to understanding the attitudes on 1st day but I could see how it was going to play out.

Life is already to miserable to have an even miserabler job that you don't enjoy waking up for.

I quickly decided if I wanted to be a name or number in employment. I don't want to lose confidence and so it's best not to judge everywhere the same in keeping positive, of course a lot easier when you've had lots of jobs. (I might have to accept I won't do any fancy titled job but it's a really small price) 
I'm a person with hidden disabilities but I still have dignity and respect for myself.
Not having any more online/video interviews for non remote jobs for starters!

 

Dakta

Well at the end of the day the OP reports the situation with regards to colleagues isn't ideal, if there's nothing in the post to give some kind of reason why this has been associated with the disability, and we're discouraged from asking about the link I don't think there's a right lot we can do here.

It could just be that the user doesn't fit in and whilst an issue, not a disability one and needs dealing with in a different way.

DrDorset

Dakta said:

Well at the end of the day the OP reports the situation with regards to colleagues isn't ideal, if there's nothing in the post to give some kind of reason why this has been associated with the disability, and we're discouraged from asking about the link I don't think there's a right lot we can do here.

It could just be that the user doesn't fit in and whilst an issue, not a disability one and needs dealing with in a different way.

This is very disappointing. 

Undervalued

DrDorset said:

Jillanddy said:

On what basis is this related to disability? You have provided no evidence of that. If this is true, there could be many reasons why people are not talking to him. And to be honest, if they were ok with him at first but have distanced themselves over a period of time, that would suggest that an obvious physical disability is not the cause of their actions, because if it were they would have been the same from the beginning. Perhaps there is a reason they don't want to socialise with him that has nothing to do with disability? This is, after all, a workplace, and you can't force people to be friends with you.

What evidence does he need to provide to you? He’s simply asking for advice.

Which he got. It was accurate, relevant and to the point!

If a disable person is claiming discrimination then it needs to be because of their disability. Just because somebody is disabled (or has some other legally protected characteristic) does not give them a trump card that protects them against misfortune that could just as easily affect somebody able bodied. As Jillanddy indicated, without evidence that this is directly linked to their disability (it may or may not be) then it needs to be tackled just at it would be if the person was not disabled. 

Dakta

DrDorset said:

Dakta said:

Well at the end of the day the OP reports the situation with regards to colleagues isn't ideal, if there's nothing in the post to give some kind of reason why this has been associated with the disability, and we're discouraged from asking about the link I don't think there's a right lot we can do here.

It could just be that the user doesn't fit in and whilst an issue, not a disability one and needs dealing with in a different way.

This is very disappointing. 

I do believe it to be in the zone of being somewhat correct as well. I won't infringe one anyone's right to be disappointed at whatever takes their fancy, of course.