Driving lesson

Silvertabby

dimbo61 said:

Maybe if your really struggling with the clutch control you might consider taking your driving lessons and test in an automatic car.
Within the next 10 years nearly everyone will be driving automatic cars

Note that if you do pass your test in an automatic, then you won't be able to drive a manual car without passing another test.

Yet if you pass in a manual, then you may drive either.

Some indication that driving an automatic must be easier than driving a manual - although I'm sticking with my gear lever for as long as possible! 

michael1234

Section62 said:

annie118 said:

I was ‘test ready’ before covid, but then my driving instructor quit and I have managed to find a new one, but every time I have a lesson I get really bad anxiety and also dread...

Is it partly down to the change in instructor?  We all learn in different ways and respond differently to different people.

Ask a class of schoolchildren who their favourite and least favourite teachers are and you'll get a whole range of responses.

Some people can become anxious if the teacher/instructor has the wrong type of approach/personality for that person's needs.

A good teacher/instructor will adapt their style to meet the needs of the individual - but not all teachers/instructors are self-aware enough to understand how important that is.

I had a similar experience just before the test I passed - my normal instructor was a kind and patient old chap who'd been instructing for decades.  I really liked him, and he built my confidence up.  On the day of the test he was double-booked so got a younger colleague to do my pre-test drive.  This ?*~#head had a real attitude problem and picked up on every minor error - culminating in "You've got no hope of passing if this is what you drive like".  That annoyed me so much I was too angry to be anxious - I'm pretty sure that wasn't intentional on his part, but it worked.  I passed just to annoy him.

TL;DR - If driving with this instructor is making you nervous/anxious, try a session with a different one to see if that helps.

I agree with this.

Also worth considering that as soon as you pass you won't be his/her customer anymore so is there a little bit of a conflict of interest with driving instructors? You definitely need to get one who you can feel is right behind you.

london21

My friend failed so many times but eventually passed.

maybe just be relaxed and try not to stress/blame yourself too much.

you will pass and will all be memories. 

Bobinyorkshire

I also struggled to pass with feelings of anxiety, but cracked it on the fourth attempt. I had the window open for the whole test which help to cool me down and control my breathing, even if it meant I was in a T shirt while the driving examiner was in a winter coat 🥶 

theoretica

One issue can be that driving instructors want to instruct, and increase the difficulty of what you are doing.  So if you are driving fine some will take you on a harder route until you have problems. So you learn you always hit difficulties.  But just driving gently along roads you know well is a different thing from the route with all the roundabouts...

zagubov

Please be patient, and be prepared to sit the test again and again.

On a different issue, I decided to give up smoking and that took me well over thirty attempts.

I just kept plodding on with my attempts

Eventually it worked and thirty-five years later I'm grateful I continued up to the final attempt.

It won't take you that many attempts to pass your driving test.

SonnyLumiere

It's really important to download the title deeds and read them thoroughly. Don't just rely on your solicitor! Get your mortgage funding sorted out well in advance. Do detailed costings of any fixes / improvements. Visit several times to confirm boundaries or any rights of way issues, especially any unexpected left or right turns. Good luck!

Owleyes00

I agree changing instructors can help. I got through three and for my last one I just had this feeling that I wanted to go with a woman (as a woman myself) and o just found her amazing. I also asked for her to sit in the back of the car while I took the test I eventually passed as I felt comfortable around her and it really helped to settle me after literally crying before going into the test centre because I couldn’t see the point in doing yet another test. I advised my friend also struggling to change instructors and she also found it extremely helpful.

EndOfAbsence

I'd second the idea of considering switching to learning in an automatic. I learnt and passed in my 30s and although passed on my third attempt because of nerves on the day, I have struggled with anxiety about driving since then. I did a couple of years in a manual and then bought an automatic and it's like night and day - no, it hasn't cured my anxiety but has really improved it. Not worrying about stalling or being in the right gear at high anxiety moments like pulling out onto motorways, slip roads, overtaking etc makes it so much easier.

I wish I'd just learnt in an automatic as I think it would have meant my anxiety about it wouldn't have built it up to be such a big thing. I also really doubt that not having a manual licence is the same problem it would have been years ago - as dimbo61 says, in 10 years everyone will be driving automatics anyway.

Good luck! I really feel for you, I hope you find something that helps.

[Deleted User]

My friend managed to pass after 4 attempts, so just keep in mind if you fail once, it's not the end of the world. 
Also, I passed with 14 minors, 1 less than a fail, purely because and I quote 'You're lucky it's sunny and I am in a good mood'. 
I think it helped that my driving instructor was an absolute pervert & I just wanted to be rid of him! 
Maybe look at rescue remedy spray? I have heard it works wonders for anxiety!