Forever and a week 21 October 2021 at 9:03PM in Debt free diaries 17 replies 1.3K views

soulmate19

Hello to anyone who might be reading. 

Having half heartedly tried to keep a diary before I don’t think I’ve actually had a light bulb moment until now. Finances have never been worse and am chasing myself in circles trying to keep up with just about everything, not just financially. 

I’m going to keep this diary to sort things out properly instead of giving up. 

I would like to have 5 NSD by the end of the month although this may be tricky with half term. Definitely won’t be tomorrow as I need fuel. Pay day tomorrow too from main job so will sit down and work out exactly what I owe and how to I’m going to tackle things.

Targets for the rest of October:

-5 x NSD
-5 x items found and put on sale
-visit bank to get help to put app on mobile 
- take 1 x load of stuff from house to dump
- return pair of shoes if possible (think it’s been over 28 days but never been tried on) 

Working second job tonight so will try and get a hours nap quickly. 

soulmate19

It’s pay day!!! Although I’ve not actually gone through things yet to make a plan and sort finances today.  I could have but I didn’t, for the first time in a very long time I did nothing today.  I literally sat exhausted on the sofa with a headache and had a rest. Feeling like I should have done things now and regretting wasting the day though.  I am however off to second job again shortly.

OH took a trip to the dump for me so that’s one thing off my list and I added my first item for sale listing. I spent £60 on diesel and bought some chocolate for £1. My car actually had 0 miles and it’s never been that low, I was holding my breath on the way to the fuel station luckily it wasn’t too far away. I also bought 2 x Christmas presents for £13.50 and a third for £2.59 so an all round spend of £77.09 today I’m hoping to make my fuel last as long as possible. Whilst I feel like I’ve spent a lot today I feel like I’ve changed too. Usually I would have bought random stuff and worried how much was left afterwards. Today I really thought about things first. And when OH suggested going out for lunch I said no as I couldn’t afford to, so we stayed in instead. Have explained to everyone that I’m on a serious budget for Xmas this year but I’m not entirely convinced they’re believing me. The older DC are certainly in for a shock.  I’ve also had the realisation today that I’ve a 21st birthday coming up after Xmas that I need to plan for. 

Going to go out shopping with one of my DD tomorrow. Will need to buy dog food and a few bits in Ald1 to tide us over the start of half term. I’m setting a budget of £20 for the human food and hoping this will last until Wednesday or Thursday. OH is going to have smallest DD for a couple of days in half term so minimal spending needed for her thankfully. 

Off to work now with a proper update of figures tomorrow.  Feeling sick about writing it all down and seeing it laid bare. 

savingholmes

Well done for getting started. Keep posting and things will improve and you'll get lots of tips. Perhaps post an SOA so we can see what's going on and where you might be able to trim things. Also look at the up your income thread. 

It sounds like you are quite hard on yourself. If you had a headache - not surprising you needed a rest...

Chrystal

You can't burn the candle at both ends and expect to be able to sort out finances, you're only human, not a machine!  

For the moment I'd concentrate on only spending money on things that are NEEDED - there's a big difference to your financial outcome between a need and a want - it's amazing how even the small savings add up over a week.

You've made a good start by telling them that Xmas present expectations should be small. Try and make Christmas about immediate family, being together, playing games etc. 
The hype about buying presents for Christmas only makes the 'Big Companies' very rich, and normal people a lot poorer.  You don't want a big Credit Card bill arriving in January.
Looking forward to following your journey, and wishing you well.  X

soulmate19

Thank you Chrystal and savingholmes. 

Bit of a spendy weekend unfortunately with neither day being a NSD   yesterday spent £5.19 in local shop on chocolate and essential pads for DD. But today was expensive. Pet food came to a staggering £38.40 and I went food shopping armed without my list and the intention of a budget of £20.  Feeling quite proud of myself for spending £18.55 although we couldn’t get any milk as there wasn’t any in the store. Having worked out my expenses for the month I have £6 to last until next pay day in 4 weeks. So any spending will have to be on credit card so I’m going to try so hard to keep this to a minimum.  I’m hoping the shopping will last until at least Thursday before maybe needing a top up. 

I’ve listed a second item for sale but have had no interest in either of them so far. I have also sat and made a list of my debts and current outstanding amounts. 

Loan………………………….£2271.50
AO ……………………………£0396.97
Very…………………….…….£1279.54
Capital one (0)…………….,.,£0160.61
Capital one (1)………………£0664.01
Fluid………………………….£1298.10
Aqua………………………….£4646.12
paypal………………..………£2547.88
Barclaycard………………….£0362.87
                                              ————-
Total…………………………..£13,627.60

Such a lot of money but I strangely feel better now I know what it is and have added it up.  Feeling motivated and determined to clear it.  £13,627.60 is a huge target so I’m going to break it down into smaller chunks otherwise I’ll feel like I’m getting no where.  Very has an amount of £314.20 on BNPL that runs out on 19th November so I’m going to try and sell as much as I can to pay off this to reduce how much the interest charge is going to be.  My short long term goal is to enter 2022 owing £12+K.  Might not sound very much to some people but when finances are as tight as mine with Xmas to factor in it will be difficult for me.  

Chrystal

Just remember to keep your spends to needs, not wants.  Your future self will thank you! 

Aspiration

Hi @soulmate19,

Sounds like your determined to address which is great.

you may already do it, but I noticed you mentioned working out what you had left for the end of the month. 

One of the biggest changes we made has getting a separate account for our money, I use Monzo. So leave all of my money for DD’s/Bills in my main account, have lots for planned spends (Fuel, insurance, hair cuts etc) and then I know if I go over on food, it needs to come out of the general money I have left in the Monzo account. 

I’ve found it so much simpler and really kick myself for not doing it years ago. That and then secondly a spreadsheet checking direct debits against what’s gone out.

Thought I’d mention it as it’s been invaluable for us. 

Aspiration 

soulmate19

Thanks Aspiration   I do have a Monzo account that I’ve used in the past and intend to use it again but I need to get sorted a little first.  In my last post I said I had £6 left after expenses to last the month, I didn’t explain that very well.  What I meant to say was after all direct debits go out until next pay day I have £6 to buy fuel, food, gas and electric and anything else that needed.  Obviously £6 isn’t going to be enough so aside from putting essential needs onto a credit card I don’t know how else to manage.  

I’ve this evening applied for another job. Hopefully this could be mean I have 2 evening shifts and be home by midnight instead of 3 shifts of 11pm-3am - I’m just so tired from this, it’s affecting my main job, my time with the kids and I barely get to see OH and when I do I fall asleep on him so he just sees me snoring and drooling with exhaustion! I miss him. 

Will try to get on one of DD laptops tomorrow to do a SOA. 

savingholmes

It would be helpful to see your SOA - so looking forward to that. Just remember most posters have been where you are now - and we are all at different stages of our journey. You can get through this... Is your partner helping with clearing the debt and other bills? 

soulmate19

Phew! Felt like a long day today. Really tried to have a NSD today but just as I was leaving OH messaged and asked me to pick up a couple of things on the way. So spent £2.52, not a fortune but not a NSD either. I did make a packed lunch though and resisted buying a coffee this morning so some small steps that feel like steps in the right direction.  OH has made me lunch ready to take to work tomorrow 

Savingholmes, my partner doesn’t know the full extent of my level of debt but he is aware of it and that I’m struggling. He’s supportive of my second job but not entirely happy about it. He sometimes buys food for us or puts some fuel in the car and being half term he is taking DD’s out a couple of times while I’m at work. If I’m really struggling will give me some cash towards things if I ask.  He has some debt of his own although it’s much lower than mine and he earns a lot more than me but it means he is understanding when I say I’d rather stay in than go out when I can’t afford to. He really is lovely. 

savingholmes

Well done on keeping your spend small. Even though not an NSD - still good that you didn't use it as an excuse to buy more...