Help finding my balance

Hi All

I enjoy coming on here to read inspiring stories and would love to be mortgage free.  I am struggling to find a right balance and not be too obsessive about saving every penny and try to enjoy life as well as plan for the future.

I have got to what feels like a junction at my life and I am not sure how I should proceed.  I am in my mid forties and both myself and my husband work full time.  My job is physically demanding and I am getting to the point I am tired all the time and it scares me the thought of having to go at this pace for another 10 yrs plus.  I had imagined in my head I would go part time mid 50s but it is dawning on me if I keep going how I am this will not be possible so I need to start paying down the mortgage more ruthlessly.  We currently have an 18 yr mortgage which is around £1k a month.  I would like to cut this to 10yrs but I am realising this isn't likely.

I currently pay an extra 100 a month without noticing it but we don't have a lot of discretionary spends each month so it will be a struggle to pay off several hundreds extra.  My kids are mid teens and I am struggling with the idea of cutting things too tight as we don't have many years left as a household together.  It feels like I either need to choose between special experiences with the kids now or an easier/longer semi retirement. And I know people will say experiences don't need to cost anything and they are right but we had a once in a lifetime holiday a few years ago and I often think about the happy memories from it.  I would love to do another holiday like that for the kids before they fly the nest.  I lost a close family member this year so I am very aware that life is short. 

Also the other thing for me to bear in mind is I will have uni contributions to pay of at least 5k a year within a couple of years.

We did punch above our weight with this house as it was our dream to buy something with land, but our mortgage is big and our council tax is over 3k a year!  We could as another option just enjoy this house for another 10yrs then downsize instead of skimping to the bone now.  It would be a shame as this should/could be our forever home but I am just struggling workwise.  I have no time/energy to tidy the house and no time or money to spend on hobbies or even maintain our lovely grounds.

What would you do in this situation and how do you personally manage the mortgage free vs living life to the full dilema?  And please don't think I am saying hard savers aren't living life to the full, I am just looking for tips and advice :)


  • powerspowers
    powerspowers Posts: 1,100
    First Anniversary First Post Name Dropper
    Hi Baggins 
    I see your dilemma and agree you’ve got some expensive uni years ahead of you!
    I think keep chipping at the mortgage and see if there’s any savings you can make that you won’t miss as much (a statement of affairs will help people make suggestions). 
    If it is work that is worrying you, do you have options to retrain or take a sideways career move? Even if it’s down and up again it would help your end goal 
    good luck with it x
    MFW 2021 #76 £5,145
    MFW 2022 #27 £5,300 
    MFW 2023 #27 £2,000
    MFW 2024 #27 £500/ £3,600

  • baggins11
    baggins11 Posts: 274
    First Anniversary First Post
    Thanks powers I will look at doing a SOA in the next few days.  I do have an old one but there have been a few changes.
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