FTM on a mission

Abz12

@mumtoomany I have looked at entitled too and it confuses me. If I put in my income now I get nothing but child benefit. If I put my SMP amount in I get £20 extra?!  I have called the CAB this afternoon to see if they could shed some light on this but they said they aren’t taking referrals in my local area. I think it’s too soon to call the benefits line (if that’s what it’s called) so will wait until baby is born. Not sure why it seems complicated to me right now. Maybe it’s baby brain! 

I also called VM, can tell I didn’t do much work this afternoon. They said Im
in a contract with them for the next year and if I reduce my package I will lose a discount meaning I would be paying £40 anyway! 

I will post a SOA for extra help. 

I currently do surveys, this was something I picked up from my first time here. I use gov.uk, swagbucks and prolific. I also use the TopCashback website. I save it all up for Christmas presents/food.

i did the extra tax rebate last year so currently get this. 

@vixx_123 hi and thanks for commenting. The link will be useful once I’m out of my current deal so will keep it in mind. I find that with surveys so I keep them for Christmas and regarding the baby’s dad, he said he will pay but he’s not very trustworthy. I can’t rely on him. I was with him for a brief time and it’s only when I told him I was pregnant that he told me he had a fiancé! !!!!!!! No indication prior to that so it’s a bit of messy situation. He said if I pursue through CMS then he will go self employed and I won’t get anything! I’m trying to stay amicable for less stress. 

BadBookkeeper

Best of luck on your journey, you’ll get a lot of help and advice here.  One thing I did was go back through 12 months credit card bills to see how I built up my debt.  I then put the transactions into categories and used those totals as mini targets.  If you find it’s things like Christmas or clothes that created the debt, think about how you can put money in pots each week/month so you don’t need to rely on cards next time if that makes sense?  

Abz12

@BBK thank you for stopping by and commenting. That makes perfect sense, over the years I have realised my spending is linked to my emotions and childhood. I grew up with not having many clothes or much food in the fridge so have spent money in my adult life buying clothes I don’t need/can’t fit into/don’t suit me and food that just goes off. Majority of my recent debt is all house related, I renovated in 2019 and spent more than I thought I would on decorations/bits and bobs. I also put my kitchen on a 0% CC, hence the MBNA balance! 

Yesterday was a NSD, what with the rain and not be bothered to join the petrol queues I didn’t go out. My friend did buy me a chippy though, so didn’t end up eating from home...naughty naughty! 

I have done a SOA and can’t believe I have that much money left over at the end of the month because it certainly isn’t in my bank account! I might just dissect my current account for last month to see what I actually brought, I’ve a sneaky suspicion it’s food/takeaways! 

Today should be another NSD as im
not braving this autumnal weather we are experiencing. Pasta for dinner and gnocchi for lunch! 

I caught up on some diaries last night and feeling very inspired. Completed four surveys on prolific last night and just waiting for these to be accepted. Thinking about tomorrow when all my
bills go out and I can budget, I’m geek but I’m so excited and determined to get started. 

Have a good day all...SOA pending...

Abz12

[font=courier new][b]Statement of Affairs and Personal Balance Sheet[/b][b]

Household Information[/b]

Number of adults in household........... 1

Number of children in household......... 0 (soon to be 1 in feb/March 2022)

Number of cars owned.................... 1[b]

Monthly Income Details[/b]

Monthly income after tax................ 2022

Partners monthly income after tax....... 0

Benefits................................ 0

Other income............................ 0[b]

Total monthly income.................... 2022[/b][b]

Monthly Expense Details[/b]

Mortgage................................ 500

Secured/HP loan repayments.............. 0

Rent.................................... 0

Management charge (leasehold property).. 0

Council tax............................. 100

Electricity............................. 40

Gas..................................... 45

Oil..................................... 0

Water rates............................. 33.33

Telephone (land line)................... 0

Mobile phone............................ 21

TV Licence.............................. 13.33

Satellite/Cable TV...................... 51

Internet Services....................... 0

Groceries etc. ......................... 200

Clothing................................ 0

Petrol/diesel........................... 40

Road tax................................ 10.83

Car Insurance........................... 30

Car maintenance (including MOT)......... 16.66

Car parking............................. 0

Other travel............................ 0

Childcare/nursery....................... 0

Other child related expenses............ 0

Medical (prescriptions, dentist etc).... 25

Pet insurance/vet bills................. 30

Buildings insurance..................... 28

Contents insurance...................... 0

Life assurance ......................... 0

Other insurance......................... 0

Presents (birthday, christmas etc)...... 20

Nails................................ 45

Entertainment........................... 100

Holiday................................. 0

Emergency fund.......................... 110

Postcode lottery........................ 10

Misc.................................... 20

Bank account fee........................ 13

Window cleaner.......................... 6[b]

Total monthly expenses.................. 1508.15[/b]

[b]

Assets[/b]

Cash.................................... 0

House value (Gross)..................... 250000

Shares and bonds........................ 0

Car(s).................................. 1000

Other assets............................ 0[b]

Total Assets............................ 251000[/b]

[b]

Secured & HP Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

Mortgage...................... 120000...(500)......2.4[b]

Total secured & HP debts...... 120000....-.........-   [/b]

[b]Unsecured Debts[/b]

Description....................Debt......Monthly...APR

MBNA...........................6431.5....64.31.....0

Virgin.........................3998.2....39.98.....0

Tesco..........................3104.3....31.04.....0[b

mumtoomany

Hi, looking at your SOA I see the following. 

At the moment you are spending £1508 per month, plus another £135 credit card payments. This is  £1643 per month. By the way the nationwide card is not listed above, so could be more. With an income of £2022 for the first four months, then SMP of around £600 for five months then nothing for three months. You need a minimum of £19716 for the year. You will only get £11088, from the figures above. Child benefit of £1076 and, if he pays, £2400 from the father. Total £14564. You are going to be short by over £5000. 

You need to stop using your credit cards now. You need to cut your expenses as much as you can, and increase your income as much as you can. Could you take in a lodger? Have you considered a DMP once you finish work? Change your bank account to one without fees. Stop paying for the lottery. Cut groceries. Stop buying birthday/Christmas presents for people. Cut the entertainment bill. You can't afford nails or clean windows for the next year. 

Try saving as much as you can from the pay days you have left before you finish. You really don't want to go back to work after a year with even more debt, especially as you will then have childcare to pay for I expect. 

This is not meant to frighten you, just pointing out the figures. There are plenty of threads on here where people live on very little. Try looking at the frugal living challenges on old style. These have been running for many years and full of good advice. Read some blogs, try a girl called jack, anything with frugal in the title. You tube frugal Jo. Try joining the grocery challenge. And keep posting, lots of advice, help and support here.

Good luck with it all, take care, mumtoomany.

castlelough

Hello Abz!

I'm due a baby in February as well! Will follow your diary!

Mumtoomany has given some good advice above, even if it is hard to hear. 

Is it a possibility to go back to work earlier, possibly after 9mo so that you won't habe those three months unpaid at the end? This will be my fourth baby and the longest I could afford to stay at home after a baby was 10mo! Just a thought! And it might help financially. It seems so early but it would be a good idea to think ahead to childcare costs and options for going back to work - just to get your head around this now!

I second Mumtoomany's advice regarding breastfeeding and using cloth nappies. It makes small babies much more affordable! There are cloth nappy libraries that do longterm loans of sets of nappies and also you can be lucky to pick a bundle up secondhand. I started out that way! I also bought my choice of buggy, but found what I was looking for secondhand, spotless and as new - so keep an eye out for bargains! 

Well done for owning your own home - you have a lot going for you and a beautiful baby on the way! Once the debt is out of the way you will have so much more disposable income and everything will be easier!

I agree that small babies don't need expensive things, so try to focus on what you need to do for yourself x

Abz12

@mumtoomany thank you for your suggestions, i really appreciate you advice. This is why I have come back to MSE as people are very honest and helpful when you ask about your situation. I haven't added to my CC debt in quite some time and have been paying it down, although not as much as i could of before becoming pregnant! I think i need to sit down and properly do my SOA because i did it on my phone and its not correct (i think there are things i am missing) 

The lodger idea is a good one and one i have thought about, the only trouble is that i would feel very strange living with a stranger, especially when i have a newborn. The plan is for my mom to come and stay for a few weeks to help me and she would be using the room i could let, the other one is much to small for anything other than an office. Apologies but im not familiar with what a DMP is? I have been looking into my food bill and made a meal plan for the next two weeks just from things i have in the house already, i only need to top up on essentials like milk and bread. I've spent the last few days reading some diaries looking for suggestions on how to clear the debt plus prepare for the babies arrival and so far have managed to complete surveys on Prolific, once i have cashed them all out it should be 50. Would you suggest i put this  away for the baby or pay down some of the debt? 

Abz12

@castlelough congratulations, do you know what you are having yet? Hope the tiredness is bearable :-)

I think the reality of the situation is that i will have to return to work after 9 months as i simply can not afford to have the full year off. It makes me sad as i always thought i would be able to enjoy the full year and also personally i feel that 9 months may be abit young to send a baby to nursery from 8-6 (no judgement to those who do this as i may be one of them) 

From the advice of a friend i called a local nursery and there fees are 50 a day, i need a minimum of 3 days a week so looking at about 600 a month in childcare costs, which i can not afford even with the babys dad providing 200. I will have to re-think my options and looking at compressing my hours to 4 days, so i remain FT and WFH 3 days a week. My mom has agreed to have the baby 1 day a week, so if i keep the baby home with me on one of my wfh days then i can just about manage 100 a week. Not ideal but necessary. Apparently childminders are cheaper, does anyone have any experiences with those?

I have a friend who uses cloth nappies, so this is an option but when i looked into disposable ones they are very cheap at less than 1 for 20+ from Aldi. I already have some stored away. I am looking to BF and pump.Useful suggestions. 

At the moment i am in that stressed phase where i am blaming myself for getting into this situation, its not a helpful place to be and im trying to turn it around into a place of 'i am where i am so lets just get on with it now' 

I will be back with a clearer SOA and a plan for the month

castlelough

Oh don't be hard on yourself. These things are rarely planned to a tee, life happens for a reason and I bet there will be a wonderful reason for this little person arriving into your life. 

Even in my own situation my finances are far from how I would have liked them to be right now expecting another baby and currently on unpaid leave so that I didn't have to go back fulltime after jobsharing for the last 12mo. (Will stay off until I
start mat leave, which will then be on full pay instead of half - which will be great then, but it's tough now!)

I didn't mean to stress you by suggesting looking at childcare and back to work options but it helps to plan ahead financially. I have used childminders and they were/are both really wonderful and I do think a bit cheaper. I went with recommendations from friends. It is hard to hand your baby over at any stage but especially when they are tiny. I managed to continue bf when I went back to work which was great for bonding. It would be wonderful if your mum can help one day a week and depending on your job if you think wfh could work that would be wonderful. Small babies nap a lot!

I suppose by looking at how that might all go it helps you decide how long you can stay off work for. I managed 8mo after my first, 8.5mo after my second and went back after 7mo after my third but knew I would be able to wfh because of the pandemic... there's no point in being off and being completely stressed about money. My working day was shorter though (finish by 4) and I was able to go back jobsharing after my third which was amazing and I highly recommend that as something to aim for if you get to a stage where it might be affordable. 

Everyone does things differently! In America a lot of women only get six weeks maternity leave!!!! Can you even imagine?! 

mumtoomany

Hi, @Abz12. Glad you are back, I thought I might have frightened you off when I spelt out the figures. Pleased that I didn't. 

A DMP is a debt management plan. You can find out more about them on the main debt free wanabe forum. Basically, if/when you can no longer afford to pay your credit cards, you can contact one of the debt charities, eg Stepchange, they will talk to your creditors and work out a plan where you can pay a lot less, even if it's only £1 a month. The credit card companies will also freeze the interest. 
Your priority is the mortgage, if that's not paid then you will lose your home. After that you need to pay council tax and utilities and food. If there's no money left after that then the credit card companies can't have any. You will not lose your home over credit card debt, which is why i said it's good that you couldn't extend the mortgage.

Any spare money you have now, needs saving for wen you are on less money. Set the credit card payments as the minimum, on a direct debit, put the cards out of the way somewhere, and forget about them for now. 

Nappies, yes the first size in Aldi are only around 3p each, but the biggest size are 12p each. If you need six nappies a day, that's between 18p and 60p a day, for about 800 days! If the average price is 25p each that's £200! When you think something is not a lot of money, try seing how much it will cost overall.

Childminders. I was a childminder for several years, when my eldest three were small. I would recommend them. They are often cheaper than nurseries. Your baby will build up a better bond with them because they will be with the same person every day. They can be more flexible, if say, the single mum bank manager rings to say they'll be late, as there has been a bank robbery and the police are there. (I fed the child his tea, and put him in some of my child's pyjamas, so mum could just put him straight to bed when see got him home) They are also better, in my opinion, as they are often more mature than nursery staff and have more to lose if they do a bad job, they are self employed.

Please stop stressing. You have nothing to blame yourself for. Look after yourself, for the sake of you both. Once baby is here you will realise this is the best thing you've ever done. 

Take care, mumtoomany.