A new chapter, An empty nest, Drama school & Last year of Uni

Sarahwithlove

So sorry for your loss spendless, thinking of you and your family 

Newstartforme

So sorry to read this Spendless , Nan is at peace now xx

southern_chick

So sorry to hear your sad news. Thinking of you and your family xx

in_need_of_direction

Sorry for your loss. Try to take care of you.

weenancyinAmerica

Sending (((hugs))) from America.

Spendless

Thank you all for the messages of condolences.

warby68

I think I also came to believe your Nan had longer to go. Thinking of you all - 4 generations together is always something special as well, even more so when all are adults. 

Spendless

Oh my gosh - send me lots of patience! Nan's funeral will be a burial. A plot exists. It's in my Grandad's name. He died in the 1990s....! Dad got the transfer done but needs a solicitor to sign it (that bit hadn't been explained to parents). They tried their solicitor who was on a day off and was told to call back but sol is fully booked till new year. Dad then got totally confused with me and insisted that this was the reason the death cert hadn't been issued yet and woudn't listen when I tried to explain they were 2 different issues. Mum was getting very stressed and tearful over it all. 

Fortunately the Funeral Director was calling, so I stayed at my parents house and asked him the questions. He confirmed that parents could go into any other solicitors and explain what they required. That the issuing of the death certs are seperate and the expected timeline of  getting it and to contact him if they've not heard in a few days and he'll chase.

Dad asked about payment. Nan has left enough money to cover everything. Parents  have enough  money of their own to pay upfront but Dad has started complaining about various costs (they  already owned Nan's house so things like CGT will need to be paid  when house sold and insurance changed and council tax on a 2nd property - I knew all this but had decided to give parents a few days to 'digest' before telling them, one of Dad's 'well-meaning' friends turned up at the weekend and beat me to it - sigh!) So again I gave the FD a loaded question I already knew the answer to (thank you years on this site!) that 'was I correct in thinking that the funeral bill coud be paid directly to the funeral place from Nan's account. FD confirmed yes, and explained procedure. Before he left I said to recap then this is the order my parents need to do things. Today, find solicitor to sign transfer of grave docs, towards end of week if death cert hasn't been issued then contact FD for him to chase. If all docs and certs have been given then a full invoice from FDs will be given for parents to take to bank and the bill paid directly.  

Dad is the sole beneficary of Nan's will which is her money and personal items as parents already own property Nan lives in. I'm trying to get Dad to change his mindsight over what he's stressing about and be grateful that Nan hadn't gone into care where her money would have reduced rapidly until it got to the point where the LA steps in towards costs. That since  Nan's will never left any contingency plan about what happened if Dad had died first then the money (bar funeral expenses etc)  would now be going between me and my sibling  (which without going into too many details is a strained relationship) and how exactly would Mum find the money to pay the property related bills before house sold. I know when my maternal Nan died and Mum started paying out, I had to say to her you need to think of this as Nan's final bills. You need to imagine she's wandering around with you with her purse and paying for all the things that are to do with her. That was my psychological approach to it when I fetched up funeral being paid directly from Nan's account.  Dad thought it a good idea and easier  and then said to Mum later 'so that gives us more money to play with for a wake', which due to Nan's large family had also been a 'how much will this cost' conversation before FD turned up. 

Back to moneysaving. I did move my Friday fivers over, decided until the end of the year that other than extra rent, the whole amount is going into Jabberwocky. I have £170 left to pay that off, currently in alternative savings pot is £12! However I am owed back over £100, from a healthcare plan for recent dental work and Mum owes me money for some Xmas presents bought on her behalf. I'm also paid at the end of this week so any spare cash will go to it too and I have some spare money in my house/purse. In fact I might pay that in via the post office later today. 

Humdinger1

Well done @Spendless.  Please take care of yourself in all this.  Love Humdinger xx 

Spendless

Things have moved on a little. Parents eventually found someone who could sign the grave ownership transfer. It cost wait for it....£10. It definately caused me more than £10 worth of stress! Nan's cause of death has been given as heart and old age (think that's not surprised anyone). Death cert will be ready towards the end of the week and the time given my work finishes not long before and not far from so I'm going with parents as I want to ensure they've understood anything they're told! Wake has been booked.

I have a very tidy large  cupboard. I decided to put my energy into doing this, I wanted something that I could control that couldn't argue back!

You make a good pont Humdinger. Tomorrow after work, I am heading out with a friend for some retail therapy and or food and drink.