Moving to a spending mindset

cfw1994

bluenose1 said:

Crikey, am I the only one who doesn’t have any problem spending!!!!! 

Phew: I thought it was only me who has no end of possibilities to fritter money away 🤪
To those struggling….go to a festival! 

Just finished today at the Isle of Wight one, still buzzing (2am now 😜).  We stayed with a relative and walked in each day, but the food & drink* alone can eat up a decent wedge, & if that doesn’t do it, try glamping it up in a yurt or similar, easily £2k gone there 😎👍

Kit out your home with a cinema room, or a Sonos speaker system…..buy that Cube eBike you know you need….get an electric car & save the planet**…..have a weekend in London, see a show, a museum and dine at a fancy restaurant!

Also agree with it being reasonable to spend £20-30 on wine at restaurants: we very rarely would do that , but remember the service they are giving you, and indeed that the  wine might still be £10-15 to them.

More ideas available on request! 

* we did get a Barclaycard specifically for festivals - at Latitude and the IOW one, they offer 10% off drinks.  Well, I’m not completely frivolous!
** no planets were saved, but they are nice, rapid & silent…as well as make you feel like you are driving The Future™

bostonerimus

Why should you change a lifetime of spending habits just because you are retired? Being frugal got you to where you are now and I see no reason to spend just for the sake of it if you are happy with taking along some Jaffa Cakes rather than buying the expensive cafe cake. I could go on expensive holidays, but prefer to ride my bike and camp because I meet people, keep fit, have adventures and enjoy myself more.

I learned my frugal habits from my parents and continued them through college and graduated with money in the bank and no debt. Being frugal in some areas has allowed me to afford nice homes, retirement at 54 and has given me financial independence. I live perfectly comfortably, but don't waste money and hope to pass on money to my heirs.

Sea_Shell

Albermarle said:

Sea_Shell said:

DHs personal spends are practically zero!

Unless you count needed replacement clothes/shoes, gardening stuff, DIY stuff.  But I'd say thats "household " not personal. 

He doesn't play sport/gym*
Buy music
Pay for haircuts*
Buy "fashion" clothes
Latest gadgets 
Fancy aftershave / toiletries *
Collect stuff
Tinker with cars/bikes

New walking gear would come closest, and that's rarely needed. 

*Even I only do 3 of those things!!

No days out ? ( football/rugby matches , racing, visiting art galleries, museums, concerts , day at the seaside , pamper days, meals/drinks out etc ) 
Or holidays ? 

Sounds a bit too frugal ....

Well, my description of "personal" is on "oneself".  

We do lots of the other things as a COUPLE, so I don't classify that as personal spends, they would be joint things.

My list above is the sort of things that lots of people may spend on "themselves", that DH just doesn't.

Sea_Shell

Keep_pedalling said:

Sea_Shell said:

DHs personal spends are practically zero!

Unless you count needed replacement clothes/shoes, gardening stuff, DIY stuff.  But I'd say thats "household " not personal. 

He doesn't play sport/gym*
Buy music
Pay for haircuts*
Buy "fashion" clothes
Latest gadgets 
Fancy aftershave / toiletries *
Collect stuff
Tinker with cars/bikes

New walking gear would come closest, and that's rarely needed. 

*Even I only do 3 of those things!!

B#*!#@ that, we are now a few years into the spend stage, and find it very liberating. Obviously foreign travel has been off the cards lately, but we don’t skimp on choice of UK accommodation and if there is a course or wine on a menu that either of us fancy we will order it regardless of cost. We have more than enough to see us out and we can’t take it with us so we plan to enjoy it as long as we can. Every £100 spent on a meal for 2 is £40 less for the tax man when we finally pop our clogs. 

But they are JOINT things, not personal.

OldScientist

OldScientist said:

jim8888 said:

Albermarle said:

We do pay ourselves a monthly allowance - mine tends to get lost in the same account as the rest of the money so I end up not spending it (even though I keep a record of personal expenditure - it has been around £3-4 per month for the last 3 or 4 months) 

Respect, if true 

Almost true for personal expenditure (books, hobbies, etc.) for me (I don't know what OH has spent) - 2.97 so far in September, 4.97 last month, 2.97 the month before, and 8.52 in June (mostly ebooks). Of course, we've spent a lot more on other things (bills, food etc.).

Before anyone thinks I'm some sort of hair-shirted hermit, I should also point out that I'm merely in a 6 month lull in spending because I've been busy doing enjoyable stuff that doesn't cost money (or any additional money)... last year I managed £100 per month on hobbies (mostly on stuff that I am now using this year).

We follow something like sea_shell's categorisation - personal expenditure is what we spend on ourselves, but we also spend together.

Flugelhorn

that's it then - decided!! Am buying a holiday home by the sea

Keep_pedalling

Sea_Shell said:

Keep_pedalling said:

Sea_Shell said:

DHs personal spends are practically zero!

Unless you count needed replacement clothes/shoes, gardening stuff, DIY stuff.  But I'd say thats "household " not personal. 

He doesn't play sport/gym*
Buy music
Pay for haircuts*
Buy "fashion" clothes
Latest gadgets 
Fancy aftershave / toiletries *
Collect stuff
Tinker with cars/bikes

New walking gear would come closest, and that's rarely needed. 

*Even I only do 3 of those things!!

B#*!#@ that, we are now a few years into the spend stage, and find it very liberating. Obviously foreign travel has been off the cards lately, but we don’t skimp on choice of UK accommodation and if there is a course or wine on a menu that either of us fancy we will order it regardless of cost. We have more than enough to see us out and we can’t take it with us so we plan to enjoy it as long as we can. Every £100 spent on a meal for 2 is £40 less for the tax man when we finally pop our clogs. 

But they are JOINT things, not personal.

I don’t really see the difference between one person changing their spending habits to a married couple doing it, but anyway we both have our individual extravagances, I buy expensing camera kit and before lock-down went on a wildlife trip to Costa Rica on my own and flew business class, my better half likes to spend on expensive opera tickets. 

Keep_pedalling

bostonerimus said:

Why should you change a lifetime of spending habits just because you are retired? Being frugal got you to where you are now and I see no reason to spend just for the sake of it if you are happy with taking along some Jaffa Cakes rather than buying the expensive cafe cake. I could go on expensive holidays, but prefer to ride my bike and camp because I meet people, keep fit, have adventures and enjoy myself more.

I learned my frugal habits from my parents and continued them through college and graduated with money in the bank and no debt. Being frugal in some areas has allowed me to afford nice homes, retirement at 54 and has given me financial independence. I live perfectly comfortably, but don't waste money and hope to pass on money to my heirs.

We are partly in this position because of someone like you, he was very frugal and left a substantial estate. My wife was the biggest beneficiary but the tax man was the second highest. If you are in the fortunate position to be able to have sufficient assets to not worry about running out of money in your old age then for goodness sake try and enjoy it, even if it means giving some away in your lifetime for others to make use of.

Albermarle

Username03725 said:

Just to comment on the Bottle Of Wine issue…

I have no problem with paying £20+ for a bottle that you know full well is £7 in Morrison’s, whether that’s in a pub or a nice restaurant. You’re buying the experience and the ambience of being out, and for that you need to contribute to the establishment's costs - wine is a significant factor in their profit margin. If you want to share a bottle of red in front of Strictly on the telly of a Saturday evening that’s just fine, we all do it. But if you fancy being out in a nice eatery with nice lighting, nice service and a sense of being out, you should be happy to pay. £15 isn’t a lot to pay for them providing that experience really.

As I started the 'Bottle of Wine issue' I will comment.

In reality I would spend up to £25 ( maximum ) on a bottle of wine if I was on holiday ( preferably < £20 though  but I probably would not for a routine meal out locally and would stick to the beer.

I spent a lifetime eating out for work  in hotels, business entertainment etc and even then did not like paying high prices , even when I was not paying !. So it is nothing to do with affordability , or restricting spending, it is just a perception of what is value for money I suppose . 

 

Bravepants

MX5huggy said:

Flugelhorn said:

I was pondering on this in the shower, 

Pondering in the shower! Sounds very profligate. I’d reassess your priorities. 

I often have a ponder in the shower...I'm sure it's classed as multi-tasking.