Moving to a spending mindset

ouraggie

Hi. Am 58 and just retired (yay!) and am going to be using savings till I'm 60, then got a decent DB pension. Another DB pension plus SP at 67. Also got a DC pension not yet accessed.
I am interested to hear how other frugal types have managed to move themselves over to a "spending mindset". I was out with a friend yesterday, who is also newly retired. We mozied around a NT gift shop, where she bought a scarf she spotted (£23). I had bought a similar scarf last winter for £6.99.
In another gift shop I was tempted by the display of bottled beers and jams. However, I just couldn't bring myself to pay £3.45 for a bottle of craft nettle beer, or £4.80 for some greengage chutney, although I wanted them . 
We then went to a cafe. She ordered a slice of cake, which was £4.50. I did too, though I wouldn't usually. I found it really difficult to spend that much on one slice of cake (usually I would just take a cereal bar, a few jaffa cakes or a banana with me if I go out for the day. I'd probably go in for the cuppa but I would rarely eat anything in a cafe. I guess this is down to my formative years, when we always took sandwiches etc out with us on a day out).
 My friend is not well off,in fact she has less than I do, though we both have nobody waiting for an inheritance. She said to me she plans to spend her disposable income on nice things now she's retired .Would be interested to hear if other people have had the same problem as me and how they have solved it. 

Marcon

ouraggie said:

Hi. Am 58 and just retired (yay!) and am going to be using savings till I'm 60, then got a decent DB pension. Another DB pension plus SP at 67. Also got a DC pension not yet accessed.
I am interested to hear how other frugal types have managed to move themselves over to a "spending mindset". I was out with a friend yesterday, who is also newly retired. We mozied around a NT gift shop, where she bought a scarf she spotted (£23). I had bought a similar scarf last winter for £6.99.
In another gift shop I was tempted by the display of bottled beers and jams. However, I just couldn't bring myself to pay £3.45 for a bottle of craft nettle beer, or £4.80 for some greengage chutney, although I wanted them . 
We then went to a cafe. She ordered a slice of cake, which was £4.50. I did too, though I wouldn't usually. I found it really difficult to spend that much on one slice of cake (usually I would just take a cereal bar, a few jaffa cakes or a banana with me if I go out for the day. I'd probably go in for the cuppa but I would rarely eat anything in a cafe. I guess this is down to my formative years, when we always took sandwiches etc out with us on a day out).
 My friend is not well off,in fact she has less than I do, though we both have nobody waiting for an inheritance. She said to me she plans to spend her disposable income on nice things now she's retired .Would be interested to hear if other people have had the same problem as me and how they have solved it. 

Several years ago a survey of financial advisers/wealth managers posed the question: "What advice are your clients least likely to follow?". The overwhelming response was that older clients who had a lifetime saving habit found it extremely difficult to follow the advice: "Get spending!". You are not alone...and there's no magic answer.

Have you thought about giving yourself a generous slug of pocket money each week to spend on things you'd like (craft beer, chutney etc) but struggle to 'justify' the cost? If you can gradually bring your mindset round to the idea that you can buy things because you'd like them - albeit within your pocket money allowance initially - you may find it easier to relax the purse strings a bit more as you get more accustomed to spending without worrying about the impact on the longer term. 

Sea_Shell

I feel your pain!!!!

If you find the answer let me know!   

But really, it's a balance between being able to buy what you want, when you want, but still feel you're getting value for money.

Those sort of "gift shop" items are a rip off (IMO), and you'd be better off in a specialist [farm] shop or deli.   

We were also of the "take our own drink and snacks" mindset, so as to not feel "ripped off" in cafes...but we are now starting to go with the café flow.   (although the occasional poor service has us hankering for our flask)

We are 50/55 and won't have any DB pensions for at least 10 years, but we keep being told we have more than enough to spend spend spend!!!



(I have some "Squirrelled Nuts" you may be interested in reading about - shameless plug there!!)

Flugelhorn

I know you mean @ouraggie - I still tend to have quite frugal shopping habits and find it hard to spend money on "nice things" - I would have left that scarf where it was too , though on the whole I am getting better.  I have to keep telling myself that if I don't spend it then the tax man will get it ( would be significant IHT when we pop our clogs & we don't spend all our pension). Suspect if we were travelling more then would start booking more expensive hotels, forms of travel etc but will have to work up to that. 

Nebulous2

This thread might be worth a look:-  The value of things — MoneySavingExpert Forum

It shows different attitudes to spending from different posters. 

We've been careful with money all our lives, and now retired  with a DB pension at 59 I'm finding the psychological adjustment much more difficult than I expected. We cut our costs dramatically before I retired, and I have taken a part-time job, so we have more income than we need, without touching savings. 

I'm a keen cyclist and I've ordered an expensive new bike, but I'm still grappling with whether it is/was sensible. It will make not one iota of difference to our lifestyle, but I still cannot get my head round it.  A crucial factor in the decision was reading some research showing that people dont spend as much in retirement as they expect to, and in fact often accumulate more. I determined to try and loosen up a bit. 

triplea35

Another who finds it very difficult! 

Around 2 years ago we looked at the figures and decided it was getting silly being so thrifty and we really needed to relax our spending more. Unsurprisingly my wife has found this more easier than I as she never really had the same value for money considerations for purchases that I do, My wife likes to visit the delicatessens, farm shops, quality butchers etc whilst leaving me to get the bulk shopping. I really do enjoy getting the 'deals' be it 2 for 1, multibuys etc .

All I have done though, as I don't want to control/influence my wife's spending, is that I no longer take a detailed interest in our monthly spends, just ensure there is sufficient  in the current account to pay the credit card balance off each month . As I look after all the other bills, utilities etc and get the best prices where possible whats the point?

Prior to lockdowns we were increasingly taking more breaks away, mostly UK, many off Groupon, Travelzoo etc so the value for money was/is still a major consideration for me.

Having said that we have had a few indulgent spends in the last year. My wife got her first brand new car, I bought an ebike, and we had a luxury 3 night '£1800' uk break last Christmas! I did manage to get a decent discounts on all these purchases so found them easier to enjoy!

I suppose I'll never really change. At 65 I still continue to work (I enjoy it!) and will  probably continue beyond State pension health permitting

Stubod

..you are not alone!! We had been savers all our working lives and tended to only spend money on things we needed rather than wanted.

Our initial objective was to pay off the mortgage asap which we had done by the time we were in our 40's. The next plan was to try and "save" one salary.

The spreadsheets I used to run monitored income and expenditure with the main focus on building "savings".

However since retiring I found I needed to change the emphasis of the spreadsheets as we were still very much in "savings" mode.

So I calculated how much we need to spend, and also how much we can afford to spend and the spreadsheet is now set up to show much we are "under" spending per month rather than how much we are saving.

As long as we have an "underspend" showing (which is also shown as an accumulative figure), we are happy to buy whatever we think we would like.

Like you pre retirement we would be reluctant to buy drinks out when you can simply make a flask, same with sandwiches. However since adopting the monthly "accumulating" underspend model we are more inclined to just get on with it!...and eventually your brain just gets used to the idea. (NB this does assume that you have sufficient income/savings to cover your basic needs going forward, ie there is no real need to "save" for anything). Also not having anybody specific to leave money to other than charities and a few close friends of a similar age, then we consider that we are actually spending "their money" anyway .....

Albermarle

My friend is not well off,in fact she has less than I do,

So a philosophical question . Who is happier - you with more money , or her with a drawer full of expensive scarves and chutneys ?

Wanting Value for Money is a lifetime habit and why change ? It is a good habit .

That is not the same as not buying things that you want and can easily afford . That is the part that many of us on this forum probably need to work on .

However I can say that if I had £5 million , I still would baulk at paying £25 for a bottle of wine in a restaurant 

Flugelhorn

Stubod said:

As long as we have an "underspend" showing (which is also shown as an accumulative figure), we are happy to buy whatever we think we would like.

Thinking about it, that is effectively how I have my spreadsheets set up, so there is the underspend and while that stays at a reasonable level it is Ok to buy things you like. 

I was pondering on this in the shower, there is a limited time to be out and about spending and enjoying your savings, I dealt with the finances of a couple of elderly relatives - there was far more than I expected in "savings" (particularly as one had always pleaded poverty) - I looked back and it was just that over time (mainly over 80)  they spent less and less, went out less, got rid of the car, didn't go shopping for lots of clothes, didn't go on expensive holidays - both had attendance allowance so were accumulating.
Right - new car it is then.

bluenose1

Crikey, am I the only one who doesn’t have any problem spending!!!!!
I can think of no end of things I would like to  spend money on, I really have to give myself a good talking to not to, especially as I am still in accumulation stage.  We already have 4 UK holidays booked, two to cottages in the Lake District for next summer and two long weekends to Bodelwydan castle in Wales.

Though I did get both the cottages for over a £100 cheaper than the Airbnb price by the finding the owners private websites. Total spend on all 4 is a relatively cheap £1,700.
Hoping if things improve to visit USA September next year. 

One of my best buys have been my John Lewis heated throw, cost £50 but keeps me lovely and warm whilst watching TV etc and saves a battle over heating between oh and me.  They are really cheap to operate and costs pennies per day. Actually probably quite money saving, especially in view of what is happening to energy prices.
A thoughtful  present if your partner feels the cold….

I give myself a monthly allowance of £800 and put half of it  in premium bonds which has stopped as many impulse buys as like seeing value of my premium bonds increase. 

MovingForwards

I'm over 2 decades away from SRA. The last 4.5 years have been spent saving every penny possible to get funds together for buying a home (while paying debt down following marriage breakdown) and then replenishing the near empty accounts after getting my keys.

There's loads to be done in my home. It would have been easy to put it on the CC and get some done, but instead I'm saving and getting artistic with brushes and fittings.

A few months ago it hit me, I couldn't physically part with money for fun things. When I did buy things, it was due to needing them eg clothes worn out or something had broken. If I carried on this way for 10 odd years to retire early, how on earth would I cope with using savings to pay for my lifestyle!

As suggested above, I now allow myself £10pm pocket money. Whilst it isn't much, it means I do buy nice treats and things. I've even increased my food budget and visit farm shops on the weekends. 

When I do retire, my plan is to move a month's 'retired income' to my current account, rather than take money from my 'retirement savings pot' each time I need / want money throughout the month. If I don't use it all that month, I can take less out the following month.

Keep trying different ways and you'll find one which is comfortable and works for you.