Dial Direct insurance

Griffdaz

My first post...

Looking for advice regarding 
"Dial Direct van insurance".
In 2014 i became paralysed in Afghanistan conflict so obviously I cannot drive a manual vehicle . So I needed to cancel both van & car insurance. 
I had a tracheostomy fitted (obviously unable to speak) a relative of a fellow patient (a veteran & great lad I didn't know) assisted me with everything. 
He called Dial Direct (no compassion/understanding) to cancel Direct Debits but as it was not me they said it needs to be in writing. Which he kindly done for me and (I signed) posted for me.
There's 2 issues actually. 
Prior to leaving UK I used the HSBC Banks switching service but I just found out lloyds bank never transferred all my DD's. I have been paying £33 monthly to Dial Direct since June  2014.
Thats £2970. 
They are very likely to deny receiving letter given they're still taking the DD.
As to Lloyd's this is the second occasion as they did not transfer my phone DD or the weekly pocket money for my kids. 
I sorted this out in 2015 with them, they gave me £400 and fixed the damage to my credit score.
They told me they will then close the account.
Doh ! 🤔.
I suffer with mental health memory loss confusion and anger. So I am seriously panicking about ringing them as it usually ends in anger if I get an obnoxious employee.
By the way  I am getting £200 credited sporadically into Lloyd's from somewhere (I've only rang automated account details), hence I've not received red letters. Yet Lloyd's  are charging me £40 every couple of months.
Are both Bank & Insurance really at fault ? 
I cannot prove the letter even if they find the recorded conversation. My
£2900 would come in handy. 
I truly panic on phone now and dread confrontation.
I make notes before calling. 
Should I just forget it and write requesting termination of both. Or can anyone advise my best approach to get this money returned.
I apologise for such a long winded essay (it's typical of me)

Griff.

AdrianC

Talk to the bank. The DD Guarantee means it's their problem to sort it.

The fact this has been going on for six/seven years isn't going to make it straightforward - "Why didn't you notice before now?" is a very reasonable question for them to ask...

It might be worth getting the assistance of some of the many charities working with ex-servicemen - RBL, H4H, etc.