Split from my partner after 20 years

evosy1978

Hi
We have split. We have a mortgage. We have 2 kids. She is atm at the house. 

She is NHS worker, I'm on universal credit.
She is at the house with kids and dog. I'm in the car .

How the hell does this work now.

I'm looking for a room that is cheap.

My universal credit goes into our joint account.  We are on the breadline. 

What do I do 
Thanks

RAS

Sorry things have gone pear-shaped.

Start by setting up your own bank account; Monzo is recommended by many as you do, it is arranged on-line. Get your UC transferred to that. Do you know where the local food banks and free kitchens are, as they can help tide you over?

Do you have any mates or family were you could stay for a week? Or try to get your ex to allow you to stay there for a few weeks while you organise a rental; legally you are entitled to do so but you want to avoid accusations if possible. If you are separated but living together your ex may still be able to claim extra benefits (depending on income) but you both need to be aware that they don't cover mortgage payments longer-term.

You will both be much poorer by separating and you'll need to sort out the house medium term, regardless of whether you proceed to divorce. Unless she can afford to pay the mortgage and to buy you out, it may have to be sold.

Needless to say, you need a job ASAP and that'll make you more attractive to landlords. Do you have a driving licence, or could you work in a supermarket?

Pollycat

I don't know if this link will offer any help.
It explains help from your local council.


Homelessness - Shelter England

pinkshoes

1. Open your own bank account immediately. Get your money paid into this.

2. Is it amicable enough that you can stay in the house? You are entitled to... Sleep on the sofa if there is no spare room?

If that's not an option you'll need to find a room to rent. Have a look at gumtree or people wanting lodgers.

warby68

Is your universal credit a single claim or a former joint one as I'm not sure why you would have had a single one paid into a joint account?

I'm no expert but you should both have single claims now I believe.

Continuing a joint account may well bring single claims into question

TBagpuss

You say partner rather than spouse - am I right in thinking that you are not married?

Whose name is on the house and mortgage? 

If the house is owned by the two of you in joint names, then you are both entitled to be in the house, unless a court makes n order excluding one of you. This might also enable you to (continue to?) look after the children while she is working.


Very short term, as others have said, open up a bank account in your sole name and get your UC paid into that account. You both have access to the joint account so if you need to draw money from that you are entitled todo so. She may be able to apply for UC herself as a single person to top up her income. Check out www.entitledto.co.uk to see whether you would be eligible to claim any other help or to any different level of C. Let them now about your change in circumstances ASAP to ensure that you are not getting too much that might have to repay. 

If returning to the house until financial issues are sorted out is not an option, do you have any friends or family you could stay with short -term?

If not, have a look at things like Spareroom.co.uk which has listings for house/flat shares and rent a room options

Longer term, start thinking about ways of dealing with the house.

Option one: The house is sold, the mortgage paid off, and you each take your share of the sale proceeds (50/50 unless you had a different agreement) and move on

Option 2 - she buys you out by getting a new mortgage in her sole name, large enough to pay off the current mortgage and pay you your share of the equity.

Option 3 (if she can't afford 2, and you want the children to stay in the house) she looks at getting the house and mortgage put into her sole name and you have a formal charge back entitling you to a lump sum when the house is sold, perhaps when the children leave school. This can be secured by a formal legal charge over the property

Option 4 (if she can't afford 2 or3 and you want the children to stay in the house) house and mortgage stay in joint names with an agreement that she makes the monthly payments and that the house is sold and the proceeds divided (with an agreement as to what each of you is entitled to at that time)  when the children leave school (or at an earlier agreed time) OR she moves out and you stay in the house with the children, and pay the mortgage if  you can afford the mortgage payments (again, check what you would be eligible to claim in child support and UC / benefits, to work out if this is a viable option), and you have a written agreement about when the house will be sold and what share each of you will have from the sale. 

For 3 or 4 you would need proper advice and a formal written agreement  in place. 


Are you on UC because you were a stay at home parent or because you were/are unable to work? If you are able to work then looking for work will probably give you more options - for instance it will be easier to get somewhere to rent if you are working, and you will likely have more than you would receive in UC. 

Check out your local council / housing officiator see whether you would be eligible for any support with finding somewhere to live , although unfortunately there is a shortage of council / HA housing in many places, and you may not be eligible if you own a property . 

Exodi

All very solid advice above given above, so nothing to add to that without repeating but just wanted to add that while it's tough to go through and it is tough... (from someone that went through similar nearly 2 years ago), it will soon be a distant memory and you'll be far better off after.

Especially if your relationship has deteriorated over a prolonged period.