Financial advice after divorce

MisalignedHalo1971

I will try to keep as brief as possible and hope that I can get some advice for the situation I am in. 

I separated from my ex husband in early 2014 after 7 yrs of marriage. Throughout he was an alcoholic and did not work a day we were together. We lived in a council property and had no children. I worked and paid the rent etc. We had no assets when we separated. I stayed in the property and he was given a flat by the local council. 

For some considerable time he harassed me. Daily, social media posts would be put up about me or my family to the point that the police were involved on a number of occasions and eventually arrested him but did not charge him. My only way out and to get away from him was to move away. I moved over 100miles from my friends and family just to be free of him and to start over. 3yrs ago I bought a property with my new partner using the help to buy scheme.

Last year after 7 yrs I finally divorced him. I did not do it sooner as he always vowed to fight it and I couldn't afford the expense if it dragged on. I did this alone through the government website and did not seek costs from him. 

In my own naivety I did not seek a clean break order as I assumed as we had no home, assets or children we would not need it. Since the divorce he is now claiming I have some tools and a tea set belonging to him which I have never had, I made a point of giving all his belongings back as I did not want him contacting me. I have appointed a solicitor and we continue to go back and forth to the cost of £800 so far. I am slowly running out of money to keep fighting this and now he wants me to enter into financial disclosure and threatening me with court. 

I am petrified he can have a claim against my home and any future assets. I want to start my own business and better myself but am holding back because of this. 

Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated 

Brie

He doesn't deserve anything of course but would paying him off shut him up?? 

I'd be tempted to name a sum suitable to the cost of used tools and an old tea set and offer that as full and final settlement and with the proviso that he never contacts you again.  Sent by your solicitor.  And then tell the solicitor not to respond to anything received from your ex and/or his solicitor but simply forward it to you.    You can respond to him by simply re sending a copy of the solicitor's letter.  

But I am not a lawyer so you might want to wait for further advice.

Alias_Omega

MisalignedHalo1971 said:

The basics - 

I separated from my ex husband in early 2014
Married in 2007.
We have no children.
I believe we have no assets when we separated.
I stayed in the property and he was given a flat by the local council. 
3 yrs ago I bought a property with my new partner
Last year (2020) I divorced him.
I did not seek a clean break order


Since the divorce, he is now claiming -

He claims i have items that are his.
He wants me to enter into financial disclosure and threatening me with court. 

Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated 

I've cut out all the stuff we don't need to know, the court does not care about "he/she never worked, they drank etc". 

You need to seek a "Consent Order" to reach a Clean-Break at all costs. That should be your number one goal! Your solicitor will advise you best, that is what you are paying them for.

You can deal with the other party directly, this can be done via a Coffee (in a Public Place). It is far-far easier and cheaper to have that awkward chat, propose a cash settlement and let them go away & decide on it. My solicitor was charging me £240 per hour, so it soon becomes cost effective to come up with a deal yourself, and send the idea over. 

Remember, its a game. You have to smile and wave... You need this. You could use the lines of -

"I did have a look for your stuff, i cannot find it. I assumed it must have been misplaced, lost in the move, or wasn't in the property at the time. I don't know what else to do, what do you suggest?"

"Even though we are divorced, I really would like a Consent Order to sever our financial ties. This will be beneficial for both yourself, and mine. We may need to draft a Consent Order, sign it and have it processed by the court. As i have overlooked this, I am happy to front all the costs via my solicitor, you'll just need to sign the paperwork. Have a think about what you would want from this, if anything financially. Looking back, yes times were hard, anyhow how are you keeping, you are looking well?"


Just be aware - 

"If you don't get a consent order, your ex-partner can make a financial claim many years after the divorce is finalised. This means that any future assets and/or income that you build up are at risk". 

Information Source

TBagpuss

Talk to your solicitor, as they know most about your financial position.

However:
- It is open to him to make a financial claim, however, the court has to decide what is Fair and Reasonable, looking at all the circumstances. Assuming that you are able to show that you did not have any assets at the time you divorced then it is highly unlikely that he would be given a share of your home 
- Has he put a figure on the ts set and tools? If so, then it may be worth making him an offer based on how there alleged value compares with the costs of going to court. You don't have to offer what he is claiming, it might be that the offer is along the lines of;

" X does not have the tools or tea service, all personal possessions were packed and provided to you in [date] and if you did not receive the tools at that time it would have been because they were not in the house when you left.
Never the less, as a gesture of goodwill, X is prepared to agree a settlement on the basis that she will pay you a lump sum of £xx on a clean break basis"

The payment would then be made after the order was signed and approved by a court. You would need to provide basic disclosure in summary form (see Form D81) but can also include additional information (e.g. the fact that you separated 7 years ago, that there were no financial assets at the time and you have kept your respective finances separate since that date) 

I am sure that it goes against the grain to offer him anything at all but it may be that offering a small amount is a lot cheaper than the costs of paying your solicitor to go to court.

You could of course just ignore it and let him apply to the court if he wants to do so, do you think he will actually pursue it? The downside of that is that you don't have the peace of mind of getting an order, but it does mean that he has to do the leg work and potentially incur the costs of moving things forward.