How to loan money to partner

funkycredit

Exodi said:

femalemonarchfemalecanine said:

being married totally doesn't stop someone from walking away you know!

Lending money to someone who is already in financial trouble is not a good idea, giving money to a child that has run up debts is also not a good idea, even if you can afford it - it does not teach them responsbility funkycredit

And there you have it. How things get skewed when pessimists are nearby!

I didn't say they were in any trouble... I said one of my kids had a £5k debt. I didn't elaborate but I shall; house move, small decoration costs etc put on credit card. Was a 0% deal on purchases but expired and then she went part time due to giving birth. She was just chatting and mentioned she had £5k owing and asked me about moving to a 0% BT card as she trusts my opinion when it comes to finances. 

I then offered to clear it because it's not much money and I'm earning nothing on most my savings. That's what we do as loving parents. 

Each to our own I guess. 

letthemeatcake

I'm in the same boat, so do I help clear my partners personal debts from a divorce situation ( there are marital debts in addition to this) as I hate that he pays interest on this debt from his monthly income or encourage him to get a 0% balance transfer? Even though it is his debt it does worry me as I have always been very careful with money.

Personally the latter seems the best way to go as then there is no interest to pay and the debt can be paid down each month instead and I am not as involved if anything happens to the relationship. 

kaMelo

Tletthemeatcake said:

I'm in the same boat, so do I help clear my partners personal debts from a divorce situation ( there are marital debts in addition to this) as I hate that he pays interest on this debt from his monthly income or encourage him to get a 0% balance transfer? Even though it is his debt it does worry me as I have always been very careful with money.

Personally the latter seems the best way to go as then there is no interest to pay and the debt can be paid down each month instead and I am not as involved if anything happens to the relationship. 

 
It's always difficult in a new relationship when it's not the first serious one, both parties have financial history that they want to protect but without coming across as being uncommitted.
I think you've covered all the points I would raise and I'd tend to agree with your thoughts. I would rather keep things separate even if it meant things were more expensive until you feel it's a forever situation.

The other option of loaning the money, don't do it. No good deed goes unpunished. Unless you are happy to gift the money with no expectation of repayment (and treat any repayment as a bonus) then I would always say don't do it, it will cause resentment and friction later on.

Exodi

funkycredit said:

Exodi said:

femalemonarchfemalecanine said:

being married totally doesn't stop someone from walking away you know!

Lending money to someone who is already in financial trouble is not a good idea, giving money to a child that has run up debts is also not a good idea, even if you can afford it - it does not teach them responsbility funkycredit

And there you have it. How things get skewed when pessimists are nearby!

I didn't say they were in any trouble... I said one of my kids had a £5k debt. I didn't elaborate but I shall;

...

Each to our own I guess. 

What a silly reply.

I did not say your child was in financial trouble either - that is you misreading what I said, which is ironic since you called me a pessimist. I was referring to the OP in that their partner is in financial trouble (from what they've said). I distinguished from your child by saying that 'giving money to a child that has run up debts is ALSO not a good idea' - it was pretty clear but each to our own I guess.

funkycredit

Exodi said:

funkycredit said:

Exodi said:

femalemonarchfemalecanine said:

being married totally doesn't stop someone from walking away you know!

Lending money to someone who is already in financial trouble is not a good idea, giving money to a child that has run up debts is also not a good idea, even if you can afford it - it does not teach them responsbility funkycredit

And there you have it. How things get skewed when pessimists are nearby!

I didn't say they were in any trouble... I said one of my kids had a £5k debt. I didn't elaborate but I shall;

...

Each to our own I guess. 

What a silly reply.

I did not say your child was in financial trouble either - that is you misreading what I said, which is ironic since you called me a pessimist. I was referring to the OP in that their partner is in financial trouble (from what they've said). I distinguished from your child by saying that 'giving money to a child that has run up debts is ALSO not a good idea' - it was pretty clear but each to our own I guess.

No. You quoted me then started with "Lending money to someone who is already in financial trouble is not a good idea". There was no reference to the OP. 

But anyway, each to our own. 

Exodi

funkycredit said:

No. You quoted me then started with "Lending money to someone who is already in financial trouble is not a good idea". There was no reference to the OP. 

But anyway, each to our own. 

I quoted femalemonarchfemalecanine in my post. I explicitly said "Lending money to someone who is already in financial trouble is not a good idea, giving money to a child that has run up debts is > also < not a good idea, even if you can afford it - it does not teach them responsbility funkycredit"

I'm really lost for words on how you've managed to get confused here - reading is perhaps not your strong point.

Unfortunately the only pessimistic person in this thread has been you since you've assumed a point made to the OP, in the OP's thread was about you and jumped to defend it. We get it, you think paying off your childs debts was a good idea.

Malkytheheed

funkycredit said:

Even as recently as last month, found out one of my kids owed £5k so I cleared it. Why not? I can afford it and they can't. 

Because they will just do it again...

That's exactly what I would do if someone just magic'ed my debt away.