How to loan money to partner

Emmia

Only "loan" the money if you have no expectation of it being repaid.

funkycredit

Wow. Some of the comments on here. Just wow. 

It's a partner. How times have changed. Whatever next, couple up with a single parent then buy your own and leave them struggling? It's ridiculous. 

I'm from the era that we are all one. My money is my wife's. Hers is mine. It doesn't matter who has more. It's still ours. Always been like this since the day we moved in together. 

Even as recently as last month, found out one of my kids owed £5k so I cleared it. Why not? I can afford it and they can't. 

If it's a partner who you're happy with then surely you ought to enjoy life instead of worrying about loaning money. Maybe I'm just too nice but I couldn't see my partner in debt if I had cash. We are a union. 

Ebe_Scrooge

funkycredit said:

Wow. Some of the comments on here. Just wow. 

I'm from the era that we are all one. My money is my wife's. Hers is mine. It doesn't matter who has more. It's still ours. Always been like this since the day we moved in together. 

Even as recently as last month, found out one of my kids owed £5k so I cleared it. Why not? I can afford it and they can't. 

If it's a partner who you're happy with then surely you ought to enjoy life instead of worrying about loaning money. Maybe I'm just too nice but I couldn't see my partner in debt if I had cash. We are a union. 

Well, to be honest, I agree with you.  I'm the same - me and my good lady both work.  I earn significantly more than her, but we don't have separate his 'n' her accounts.  It all goes into the joint account, that's the end of it.  And yes, I also agree with the "helping out the kids" thing.  I'd never lend money to my wife - there's no need, we use the same bank account, same credit cards, everything.  If she wants to go and buy something, or go for an evening out with her friends, she does - and I do likewise.  But I guess we're both old enough and wise enough to know what we can afford, and what's a reasonable amount to spend on a night out, new clothes, whatever.

I suspect some of the more negative comments on this thread have been prompted by the idea of "lending" money to a partner.  Must admit that concept seems somewhat alien to me, but we don't know the OP's full circumstances I guess.

Neruda

funkycredit said:

Wow. Some of the comments on here. Just wow. 

It's a partner. How times have changed. Whatever next, couple up with a single parent then buy your own and leave them struggling? It's ridiculous. 

I'm from the era that we are all one. My money is my wife's. Hers is mine. It doesn't matter who has more. It's still ours. Always been like this since the day we moved in together. 

Even as recently as last month, found out one of my kids owed £5k so I cleared it. Why not? I can afford it and they can't. 

If it's a partner who you're happy with then surely you ought to enjoy life instead of worrying about loaning money. Maybe I'm just too nice but I couldn't see my partner in debt if I had cash. We are a union. 

That is a good argument for giving the money to the partner rather than lending it. Makes perfect sense if the relationship is akin to a marriage, rather less sense if things are pretty casual.

If a child has a debt of thousands of pounds then it would be sensible to ask some tough questions about how the debt arose and whether the habits/circumstances that caused the debt have been resolved. There is a risk of enabling poor decision-making and so making it even harder for the child to behave like (or become) a responsible adult.

fudgecat

Always give, rather than lend, if you can afford to do so. A great deal depends on how the debt arose. In the light of the interest amount it sounds like a zero per cent card that was never paid off in time and then went to high interest, or a loan taken out naively.
So, find out what it was for and when. Then you will know if you are actually "helping" or just setting the debtor up to repeat past errors.
Have you been together a long time?

enthusiasticsaver

funkycredit said:

Wow. Some of the comments on here. Just wow. 

It's a partner. How times have changed. Whatever next, couple up with a single parent then buy your own and leave them struggling? It's ridiculous. 

I'm from the era that we are all one. My money is my wife's. Hers is mine. It doesn't matter who has more. It's still ours. Always been like this since the day we moved in together. 

Even as recently as last month, found out one of my kids owed £5k so I cleared it. Why not? I can afford it and they can't. 

If it's a partner who you're happy with then surely you ought to enjoy life instead of worrying about loaning money. Maybe I'm just too nice but I couldn't see my partner in debt if I had cash. We are a union. 

That may work if you are married but if not then partners can very easily become ex partners and walk away leaving the lender high and dry.  It has happened on numerous occasions on this forum where people have lent money to their partners then after a split the ex partner decides not to repay. Also some people have different attitudes to spending and saving so if you have a partner who constantly runs up debt whilst knowing you will be there to bail them out then they never learn to manage money.  Same applies to kids. If you can afford to gift though then that is a different matter.  I have gifted money to my kids for things (never clearing debt though) and my husband and I have joint finances but neither of us ever had debt beyond a car loan or mortgage.  Relationships break up so exercising caution particularly if it is a fairly new relationship and you are not married is just sensible and pragmatic. 

enthusiasticsaver

Hollah21 said:

Advice needed:

My partner is paying about £100 in interest on approx £5000 of debt a month. I have the money to loan him to clear off that debt and instead he can pay me back monthly. It makes sense rather than loosing the interest! We would make a written arrangement, even though I have no doubt at all that he would always pay me back.

I was wondering though does anyone know how a mortgage lender would view this? Would they want to see the agreement to know I have that much money owed back to me? Or would they count that as not guaranteed? I am planning on being a first time buyer at some point whilst he would be paying me back. 

Thanks for any help. 

I don't think a  mortgage lender would be interested as it is not worth the paper it is written on.  To enforce it you would need to go to court so the costs involved would probably surpass the £5k and there is no guarantee of repayment. Why would a mortgage lender need to know?  Obviously you would be depleting your mortgage deposit by £5k so that is the only thing they would be interested in. 

femalemonarchfemalecanine

enthusiasticsaver said:

funkycredit said:

Wow. Some of the comments on here. Just wow. 

It's a partner. How times have changed. Whatever next, couple up with a single parent then buy your own and leave them struggling? It's ridiculous. 

I'm from the era that we are all one. My money is my wife's. Hers is mine. It doesn't matter who has more. It's still ours. Always been like this since the day we moved in together. 

Even as recently as last month, found out one of my kids owed £5k so I cleared it. Why not? I can afford it and they can't. 

If it's a partner who you're happy with then surely you ought to enjoy life instead of worrying about loaning money. Maybe I'm just too nice but I couldn't see my partner in debt if I had cash. We are a union. 

That may work if you are married but if not then partners can very easily become ex partners and walk away leaving the lender high and dry.  It has happened on numerous occasions on this forum where people have lent money to their partners then after a split the ex partner decides not to repay. Also some people have different attitudes to spending and saving so if you have a partner who constantly runs up debt whilst knowing you will be there to bail them out then they never learn to manage money.  Same applies to kids. If you can afford to gift though then that is a different matter.  I have gifted money to my kids for things (never clearing debt though) and my husband and I have joint finances but neither of us ever had debt beyond a car loan or mortgage.  Relationships break up so exercising caution particularly if it is a fairly new relationship and you are not married is just sensible and pragmatic. 

being married totally doesn't stop someone from walking away you know!

Exodi

femalemonarchfemalecanine said:

being married totally doesn't stop someone from walking away you know!

enthusiasticsaver is clearing up the unrelenting debate that occurs when a 'should I lend money to my partner' thread comes up - which oftentimes comprises of posters flooding in to proclaim that all money should be joint in a relationship. This thread, as you can see, is no exception.

This argument typically overlooks the fact that these posters have oftentime been married for several decades, or have financially 'sensible' relatives.

Lending money to someone who is already in financial trouble is not a good idea, giving money to a child that has run up debts is also not a good idea, even if you can afford it - it does not teach them responsbility funkycredit

p00hsticks

funkycredit said:

Wow. Some of the comments on here. Just wow. 

It's a partner.

I think perhaps it's not clear exactly how serious the relationship is. The OP uses the word 'partner', but then uses the word 'I' rather than 'we' when talking about their intention of getting a mortgage/buying a property.