Getting probate done

Driftingleaf

My sibling and I are not close and our mum passed away last year. It wasn't due to covid, but a complication from her illness. We are co-executors in the will and my sibling engaged a solicitor. A lot went on in the past few years and I did POA myself. I didn't do it out of spite or to cut my sibling out, but they had depression and when it needed to be done they were having a bad time, blocked me and went out of contact for about 3 weeks. I myself have anxiety and was struggling. I was in a dilemma, I waited but then got a solicitor, my sibling got back in touch after going awol and said cancel it but I didn't. It needed to be done and I was fed up of trying to organise it for nearly a year asking my sibling to do it with me.The solicitor spoke to my mum alone to make sure she was fine with me as POA and she chose another relative to be on the POA with me. Fastfoward to now, my sibling hardly contacts me, I ring the solicitor and sent documents they needed. The solicitor goes your sibling wants me to check the bank statements. That is normal, but I said to the solicitor did my sibling mention money they have had, because I had used some for taxis seeing our mum. I am on a fixed income and the co-POA knew about it. I have anxiety and I used to buy maybe too much toiletries for our mum plus tissues, some food treats she liked and squashes. My sibling had not mentioned it. We fell out last year as my sibling wanted several thousand for a debt they had, wanting to use more money again from mum's. The will states to inherit 50/50. My sibling seems to forget they have had money already, didn't mention it to the solicitor and I think they want to try to get more than half. The solicitor said she will add things up, but could my sibling try to get more? As I said we are not close, barely had any contact for awhile again and I seem to be the one in contact with the solicitor more and being made out to be bad. I just want probate done, am stressed about other personal things and my sibling infact owes me a bit of money I need right now but won't even give me a bit except a minor amount months ago. I know conflict arises with wills and honestly I am not like that, but the fact my sibling didn't mention a few thousand they had already had to the solicitor was wrong of them. 

Linton

The will must be executed as it is written whether it is fair or not.  What happened before your mother's death is irrelevent unless you have documented proof that any money paid out was agreed to be a loan,  Any money owed by your sibling to you should have no effect on your duties as executor. Sort it out after your mother's bequests have been honoured.

SevenOfNine

PoA ended on the death of your mum, best to just let go whatever residual bitterness that caused & ignore any ill feeling your sister may direct towards you.  It was done & now it's finished.

Is this solicitor handling probate for the two of you, or just involved in the squabbling? Hopefully it's the former & if so give him what he's asked for as best you can as quickly as you can, there are forms to be completed & financial info is required.

If you think your sister is making you look bad to this solicitor, perhaps that's true. But you'll just drag yourself down worrying about it. Their job is to get probate done, get paid, distribute funds in accordance with the Will & move on. The opinion of you that you worry your sister is giving them will be of no consequence.

I'm not sure why reimbursement for things you bought your mum when she was alive weren't dealt with as you went along, does it matter to you now in the grand scheme of things?

No loan arrangement between your mum & sister makes what she was given a gift, trying to prove otherwise is probably impossible, as irritating as that is. Should be mentioned to solicitor in case the timing/amounts should be listed on probate/HMRC forms.

My condolences on your loss, I can see you are emotionally vulnerable & sadly you're not having the smooth handling of formal things that you need. All too common I'm afraid.

Driftingleaf

Thank you Linton and SevenOfNine for your replies. Linton, yes, I thought the will had to be honoured as it is an equal 50/50 split for us. SevenOfNine, yes the solicitor is dealing with probate for both of us and I just want it done. The money my sibling had is not about them paying it back, it was never that at all, but the fact they told the solicitor I used some for taxi journies and omitted to mention any they had herself. As for food, toiletries that was out of mum's money and I know I used to buy quite a bit for mum. My anxiety has me stocking up on stuff, not sure why, but it was for myself too and extended buying it for mum so she had this mini plastic draw set full of toothpaste etc in her room at the care home. As for the solicitor she seems on the ball and I sent her a copy of the death certificate and some info. Honestly, I don't want any hassle, my sibling had money, I did and it is just a headache of the whole picture not being told to the solicitor. My sibling seems to forget they had several 1000 and that is not an issue for me nor do I care about them paying it back. It's been a year and the probate would be straightfoward with zero inheritence tax to pay or any property or land to account for. Thank you for your answers too and as for money my sibling owes me it is not related, I am a bit stressed and need it back but they don't seem to care or offer to pay even half back. Reading stories I can see all the strains with wills and not all of it is plain sailing sadly between family members.

TheInheritanceProblemSolver

This must be a very sad time for you. I am sorry to hear of your predicament..

Hopefully, I can put your mind at ease by saying that if the wheel divides the estate on an equal basis between you and your sister, then it is incredibly unlikely that your sister will be able to receive more than 50%.

By the same standard, though, the rules do not account for sums of money that may already have been received during life. You and your sister will inherit 50% each of what is left, and any lifetime gifts will not be accounted for.