Is being terrible with money a medical condition?! Spending pattern help.

hereagain22

OMG I need a serious kick up the butt/change in mindset/new plans.

I am just terrible with money. There is always far too much month at the end of my money! I need to get a grip. I run the finances for myself and husband so dragging him down too lol!! I need a plan.

I have a bills account and a spends account which has helped with paying bills and I don't miss bills now. 
My spends account is a Tesco account and they have announced they are closing all bank accounts so I need a new option for that. Is it worth trying one of the apps like Monzo? I don't know a huge amount about them. I wouldn't want an app based account to be my main account so I would use it as my spends account to transfer spending money into. Would that be useful for that purpose? Need to look into it some more.

I have relapsed and have bought non essential stuff the past couple of months (on Klarna and PP in 3) So I feel really bad about this. My goal is to have a non essential shopping ban for August. Klarna is great for occasional purchases but when I start to use it a lot it becomes harder to manage so need to get that cleared.

Obviously I have debts to clear and I do have a plan of action for those. It is the regular day to day spending that I am really struggling with. Also lots of small things adding up like online subs etc, just so easy to miss them.

I wish there was a way of hiding some money so that I can use that towards the end of the month to prevent this stress.

It's a vicious cycle - I buy stuff to cheer myself up as I feel down (or just want a nice thing) then I get super stressed when I am struggling for money. I need to break this cycle. 

I have started looking at Dave Ramsey baby steps and some of that fits in with what I was planning anyway - emergency fund, clearing small debts etc.

Are there any useful solutions out there to help with rubbish budgeters like me or is it just going to take some discipline...and hiding some emergency funds away!! 

Brie

Writing down all your outgoings help a lot.  Many people want to do a complete budget for the month which includes the annual stuff that you need to save up for (MOTs, house insurance, whatever).   Maybe Dave Ramsey has some template for this, often referred to as a statement of accounts.

Personally I was fine with just a list of my debts with my regular payments for them which I kept in my back pocket.  If I wanted to spend on something I would look at that and see where (if any place) that money might come from.  It made it easier for me to say to myself and the other half that no, this isn't a good month to get a new washer or buy that outfit or book that holiday as there was other more pressing things to spend our money on.

hereagain22

Brie said:

Writing down all your outgoings help a lot.  Many people want to do a complete budget for the month which includes the annual stuff that you need to save up for (MOTs, house insurance, whatever).   Maybe Dave Ramsey has some template for this, often referred to as a statement of accounts.

Personally I was fine with just a list of my debts with my regular payments for them which I kept in my back pocket.  If I wanted to spend on something I would look at that and see where (if any place) that money might come from.  It made it easier for me to say to myself and the other half that no, this isn't a good month to get a new washer or buy that outfit or book that holiday as there was other more pressing things to spend our money on.

Thanks Brie. Do you know what is super annoying, I do, I have a spreadsheet with everything on, predicted expenses for the month etc and then it just never works out. I don't stick to it I guess is the main problem - and/or stuff crops up that isn't on there. I guess it's just going to come down to willpower and discipline. But I definitely want another spends account as I have found that really helpful having separate accounts for bills and food shopping etc.
Maybe I can also use my (very empty) online saver as a kind of money pot as well and replicate what the links of Monzo do. 

I need that decision making like you describe rather than just impulsive buying.
Thank you

theoretica

Would it work to make spending a bit harder for yourself?  Get your husband to hold onto the cards/passwords and only have a bit of cash on you? 

hereagain22

theoretica said:

Would it work to make spending a bit harder for yourself?  Get your husband to hold onto the cards/passwords and only have a bit of cash on you? 

I'm not sure as hubby is somewhat partial to a spend himself...lol! We are doomed haha! 

Thanks

hereagain22

Ok, I have written a to do list and plan which helps a little. This is prompted by me nearly being out of petrol and I'm not sure if I have enough to get me to work until I get paid ....so it needs to be done. 

I am going to try using my online savers as savings pots for different things. When I get paid I am going to pay a small amount into my husband's online saver account (so not immediately visible to me)
I am also looking for a savings account for our main big savings, which is not connected to my bank so I can't see it when I log on! Guess it is just about being disciplined.

Most of my debts are now on arrangements, there is only one creditor who is hassling me so not too bad. 

Everything crossed as I can't keep doing this, the stress is really taking its toll on me

girlatplay

Work out your hourly rate then every time you want to buy something you don't need, think about how many hours you had to work to afford it.

BlueJ94

girlatplay said:

Work out your hourly rate then every time you want to buy something you don't need, think about how many hours you had to work to afford it.

That is a great piece of advice! I'm going to use this myself! 

BlueJ94

Hey!

Thought I'd share my views. I'm currently in the same situation I feel like I have things under control and then I spend and then I end up feeling a bit annoyed then stressed out over it.

You say you've got agreements in place, maybe see if you could increase those so you won't really be able to spend money elsewhere? Make a budget. It takes a while to get used to but budget for things, eg take aways, alcohol etc.

At the moment I've lost all my motivation until I seen you post this, you've given me the little push I need to think in my head "do I really want to be giving away my money every month to someone else rather than keeping it for myself and buying something that I can actually afford"

Good luck either way! 

FluffyBabyPenguin

Some people use the method of "Give every penny a job" where you work out what you'll have coming in and assign every bit of it to some category. Set yourself a budget, where there will be your usual bills, debt payments and savings. If you have enough for "spending money", set a little aside in a separate bank account for buying "wants" that month. Say, £50. You can tell yourself that's for buying non-essentials like coffee, magazines, subscriptions, random stuff, but once it's gone it's gone. It can be very hard to go a whole month with no spends whatsoever, and the danger of trying to stick to that is that it can backfire, if you slip up once you might just tell yourself "oh well I'll try again next month" and then spend impulsively in trying to make yourself feel better! Better to allocate yourself a small amount and you're more likely to maintain control. If you only have a small amount then you might be more likely to ask yourself "is this item really worth it?" Get in the habit of sending that money to a savings account instead, and you'll start to find as much joy in saving as in spending!

I found impulse internet buys to be what got me. Now I make myself wait at least 24hours. Even if it's just £3, I tell myself it will still be there in 24hours (and if not, it's not the end of the world!) Most of the time, I no longer really want it and don't buy it. Same goes for clothing and shoes etc. Unless I have money set aside in the budget for those things, I remind myself that I don't actually have the money to spend so it'll just cause me more anxiety in the long run.

theoretica

With a monthly 'this and that' budget some people find it useful to divide it up into weeks - or weekends, depending on when spending happens. 

A lot of things you can put onto lists to buy if you still want them and have the money at the end of the month -not saying no to yourself, just a little delay and not running out of money earlier in the month.

Where are you when spending happens?  If you are walking past physical shops, can you take a different route?